Q: It’s been fourteen years since I started to experience huge openings coming with deep silence and sweetness. When these deep silences come up I’m experiencing huge fear, not being able to function. It’s almost a fear of losing my self in these spaces. The silence is so sweet that I’m not so talkative and I need to function: I need to make money, I need to work, I’m a therapist. I need to be interested in people’s problems. Being in this space feels very good but I’m just aware I will not be able to sustain my self or to operate.
John: All that matters is what do you know the truth of in your heart? If you know to be in that space, if you’re knowing the goodness of that space, then give everything that’s yours to that space.
John: Saying ‘yes’ to it. Being ‘yes’ to it. You know what your being is like. Be just like your own being to it.
Q: Well my being is vulnerable, is very soft, and I’m not sure it’s going to be a good idea to be like that all the time. Sometimes I experience that certain shields are needed knowingly; that they are preventing me to be fully in this space all the time.
John: When you die, you won’t be able to give your life to this any more. What you are after you’ve died is what your living belongs to.
Q: Doesn’t it include the plastic wrapping, as well?
John: Not if you know in your heart to let go of the plastic wrapping. Then it doesn’t include it. Anything you know, within, to let go of isn’t included. That has you purifying, within, while you’re living. Purification, within, means letting something die that you know to let die, that you know to let go of. That enables the richness of what you are after you’ve died to have all expression in your living.
Q: In my experience, everything that is in my life right now is this experience, even though it’s a plastic wrapping or a shield; it comes from the same essence. So what makes the difference?
John: You have power, as awareness, to be what you know you really are, and you can use that power to be what you really know you’re not. You have the power to be true to what you know. You have the power to not distort what you are.
Q: I can look back and think that some of my choices were not in tune with what my heart wanted because I compromised about something. Are you talking about compromising?
John: When you are clear, be clear. You’re clear about what is good for your body. That doesn’t mean that you’ll do what is good for your body. When you’re clear about what is good for your body, then use that knowledge to take care of your body. When you know, within, what is good for your heart, use that knowledge to be and do what is good for your heart.
Q: Sometimes it’s not so clear to feel.
John: Then when it is clear. When you’re using the knowledge that you have when you do have it, you’ll come into more. If you put away the knowledge that you have, within, when you do have it, you’ll have less. You’ll have less because you will have covered it up. When you want to hide something from your self, you have the power to do so, and when you do so, it will be really difficult for you to find it back because you’re good at what you do. When you really want something to work, when you do something, within, that you want to work, it works. You’re really able, as awareness, to use your power and to make it work.
When you distort your use of power, the results become out of your control. When you are undistorted in your use of power, when you’re clean, within, in your use of power, the results, within, are in your control because you’re aligned throughout the levels. When you are congruent, within, you have real control within.
Q: Is there something I need to be aware of? Distortion of power, you said?
John: As a person you have the power to put anything into your body that you want to. You have the power to put things into your body that will ruin your body. You have the power to put things into your body that can kill your body. You have the power to put anything into your heart. You can put a lie in your heart. You can make something up, put that in your heart, and make it real. You can give anything life by putting it in your heart.
If you didn’t know anything, such power means nothing.
Q: What do you mean?
John: If you didn’t know anything at all, if you didn’t have knowing, within, all of this power means nothing. It wouldn’t even be. If you had no knowing, you wouldn’t be able to be or do. When the knowing is gone, the power is gone. All the power you have is because you know so much. What you do with that defines you.
Q: Then the best thing for a person like me to do is what?
John: Not live for the kind of person you are, just because you know that there’s deeper, within, than the kind of person you are. That deeper knowledge means that there is deeper value, deeper meaning. The kind of self you are determines the kind of person you are. The kind of heart you are determines the kind of self you are.
As awareness, with what you have, with the power of knowing, you’re able to create. The easiest use of power is to break something or hurt something or destroy something. A difficult use of power is to create something. The most difficult use of power is to create something that matches what you know to be deepest meaning. Such creation requires of you the highest care.
Q: It’s a huge responsibility.
John: It’s a wondrous responsibility. You’re able to create a form. You’re able to create a self that beautifully matches the deepest level of meaning in you. Of that kind of self, you’re able to manifest a person. You’re able to manifest you in person that beautifully reflects the deepest level of meaning in you.
You belong to the deepest and to the highest of what you’re able to be, of what you’re able to do. Whatever you do with such power stays with you. That’s what stays with you after you’ve died. After you’ve died you can continue to evolve, but not as quickly as you’re able to evolve in a body where there is so much form, so much opportunity. However you evolve after you’ve died, everything that you were in your living, remains; it shows. It remains a part of you. Everything is readable. When you meet someone after you’ve died, you will absolutely know them. You’ll see everything. You’ll see everything of what they were and how they were. You’ll see every aspect of every relationship they’ve had, every relationship with someone and with something. When you meet someone after you’ve died, knowing meets knowing and everything is known. What you do with that now, in part, determines what you’ll be then.
Reality is perfectly congruent with itself. You’re made of that. It is what you are. You’re able to separate from that.
Q: Psychologically, you mean?
John: Psychologically, yes, and deeper than that. As awareness, without even what your self is, you’re able to distort. That’s where your power to psychologically distort comes from. The power that you have of being what reality is doesn’t come from your self; it comes from what you are. You’re able to manifest a self that is just like that, and you’re able to manifest a self that is separate and different from what you really are.
You are more than all of your experiences. That’s what enables you to have them. That’s what enables you to create them. You can live for your experiences or you can live for what is able to create them. You have qualitative power.
You’re able to create according to the quality of something: qualities of greater meaning or lesser meaning. What you do with that stays in you.