Q: I have been cutting the attachment points to that which I know to let go of. Some of them are very old. Some of them feel like they came with me when I moved into this body. Some of them are how I wish you to be. All of these attachments connect to a greater clip, and I will have no access to this clip without you, and I’ve seen that as the calling moves, I have moved. And yet belief doesn’t flow through me. But there seems to be a movement that is mine to make. The subtlest knowing is that you need something to work with and I need to provide that.

John: When your self is fundamentally destabilized, darkness is unhinged in your subconsciousness. The darkness underlies belief given to what you haven’t known the truth of in your past. Each time in your past when you believe something that you don’t know the truth of, you do so to achieve a form of light in your thinking, making true what isn’t true, making a truth of what you need, instead of only making a truth of what you know. As this occurs time and time again in your formative years, you create a foundation, deep within, of core beliefs, beliefs neither true nor tested, giving a false sense of inner stability that holds together where realization doesn’t occur. Realization of the truth, within, ends that core held-together stability.

The need for light where you want it to be, in your experience, can be formed in your thinking. Believe a truth that you don’t know the truth of, form a truth out of what you need to be true, what you wish to be true, and light comes into your thinking. Then in your thinking you have what you want. The light doesn’t come from your thinking; the light comes from the movement of belief. Belief invested in what you don’t know the truth of brings about a held-together light.

Awareness moving in belief produces light. When you believe what you do know the truth of, you give light to what you know. When you believe what you wish to be true, what you don’t know the truth of, you bring light to what you wish to be true.

The first giving of light is a comfort to what you know. The second giving of light is a comfort to what you wish to be true, and in that way you create the experience that you’re needing. As you stand in that created truth, you have the light that you are needing. The light is provided by your own belief.

Beneath that light is a presence of darkness. That darkness is the deficit, within, that comes from belief being moved to what it doesn’t know, what it doesn’t know the truth of, but wishes to be true. The more core beliefs that you establish in your formative years that aren’t based on what you know the truth of, the more darkness that looms in your subconsciousness. Most of it is held at bay by your use of your core beliefs.

When your self is fundamentally destabilized beyond what your core beliefs are able to hold together, your core beliefs are destabilized. The manufactured light in you that was made stable in belief moving within what it wished to be true comes apart, and with the ending of that light, you’re left with the darkness that was beneath it. You’re left experiencing the deficit that has come about in your formative years. That deficit moves as a darkness, within. It looms up into your experience in your self.

That darkness is not greater than the real light in you, light that is there because awareness moves to what it does know is true. In the presence of real light within, if you give belief to the darkness that looms, if you lean into it believing that by handling it you’re able to manage it, then you bring that darkness into your cognitive thinking. As soon as it comes together, it is brought together by you in your cognitive thinking, then that darkness covers your seeing.

The darkness that covers your seeing is a narrow band. It covers everything in your seeing that looks forward and that moves horizontally. Where that darkness isn’t, is in your deeper seeing and your higher seeing. When you look deeper or higher, you are in the light that is there, and within that light you have what you know the truth of. When you don’t look deeper or higher, you have only that band of darkness to see through. When you see through that darkness, you are thinking and feeling by that darkness. Shift your seeing deeper or higher, and there is light in your seeing, and within that light you are able to feel and to think.

As you move your seeing deeper or higher and you sustain feeling and thinking from within your own light, you begin to see into the darkness. When you see with light into the darkness, the darkness is dispelled. If you look into the darkness not from within the light, the darkness builds and grows. It’s fed by your own feeing and thinking within the darkness. Everywhere you feel and think, you’re giving permission for darkness to grow into; you’re giving darkness new ground in you.

When you are seeing through the horizontal band of darkness, you can see without that darkness by looking deeper or higher. What fulfills looking deeper and higher is when you in your heart, despite anything you’re seeing, love. As you love, you see by your light.

Any time that your self is fundamentally destabilized and, with that, your core beliefs are shaken and within that, the darkness in your subconsciousness created by false belief is loosed into your self, you are being gifted with opportunity, opportunity to have light where darkness was, within. The light comes in with the movement of belief, but belief only in what you know the truth of.

The space in your subconsciousness where you’ve kept the darkness to, held there by the energy given to your own core beliefs, the space of that darkness is the real ground that you need in your self made available through your subconsciousness. When that darkness is loosed, new ground is available, ground that you’ve kept from you in your self while you’ve been growing up. You believing what you do know the truth of while that darkness is loosed brings the light of what you know into that space that was occupied by darkness, and you have all of your new ground that you need for what is next.

Sustain believing what you do know the truth of in the midst of that darkness and you free your self and your subconscious self of that darkness. What you achieve of that is a self of light. A self of light is able to move by what you know the truth of, a self that begins to move in the same way that your own being moves.

As you come into a self of light made by you because of you believing what you know the truth of in the midst of the darkness, you have a self no longer held together and sustained by core beliefs. You have a self sustained and held together by the light of what you know. The light moves of what you know because of the belief you give it.

A self that is made of the light of what you know cannot be destabilized by anything, in the same way that the truth you know, within, cannot be destabilized, shaken, moved or altered, whereas, a self held together by core beliefs is a self also that exists, fundamentally, by want, need, and fear. The resonance within a core belief is that it can all come apart.

The fear is there within a core belief that as soon as you relax as awareness, the core belief naturally comes apart and dissipates into nothing, whereas in a self made of light, the more you believe what you know within, the brighter the light is in your self. In that way, in your experience, difficulty on any level makes your self brighter, brighter with the light of what you know.