Excerpt from a dialogue with John de Ruiter on May 10, 2015
Q: I wanted to ask you about menstruation. During that time of month, or at least the week before, I am in so much pain in my heart and I wonder does that come from my self?
John: The different hormones moving in your body are going to put your self under pressure. So it doesn’t come from your self, it comes from the hormones. But the self that you have isn’t prepared to deal with those hormones. It brings it under pressure.
Q: Is that what creates the pain in my heart?
John: Yes. Your self is being pushed and it’s a good thing; it’s a sweet thing.
Q: So is that just a block or a weakness?
Q: Is that also the opportunity?
John: Yes, so once a month, you get to really deal with those things that stand in between you and your future self. Once a month you get a heads-up. This is your homework.
Q: I feel it’s something I don’t understand. Obviously on a physical level I do, but I still feel like there’s so much more happening on deeper levels .
John: Then on a deeper level, be quieted within a deeper sense of what’s occurring, which will open up a vulnerability in your self.
Q: It’s just I already feel so vulnerable during that time.
John: So that’s the time of the month where you don’t want to feel vulnerable, but that’s also the time of the month where you have access into a deeper level because the mystery in you is near the surface. That’s why you feel more emotional, more vulnerable. Your self isn’t accustomed to mystery coming up. The hormones come up, and the mystery comes up, and that puts your self under pressure. So once a month you have the opportunity to deal with some of the things that you’ll need to deal with for you to come into your future self and once a month you have the opportunity to be in the presence of your own mystery. The direction of these two are opposite directions.
Q: Can you say more about the opposite directions?
John: Dealing with your self as well as with your mystery. Dealing with your self takes you out and dealing with the mystery takes you in. Both make you vulnerable.
Q: And is it better to be more in the mystery?
John: Be in both. Be okay in the vulnerability.