Q: I remember the first time I came to see you I left halfway through, very angry, and I thought that anger was with you, and it took me about a month to realize that it wasn’t, it was with me and I was very angry with my self. There’ve been many other people that have touched me, but you have certainly done a good deal. I suppose it could be deemed ‘healing’. I wanted to ask you about healing and the nature of it.

John: What the healing comes from in you determines the depth of healing concerning something in you. Self-acceptance offers healing, but then the healing comes from no deeper in you than your self. Such healing gives you new space in your self; it gives you room to not fight your self or toil with your self. Even though the context of such healing is your self, within such a new space there are subtleties that when you give attention to them, as awareness, there’ll be a draw to go deeper within than what you’ve understood as being your self. From the understanding that you have of your self, it will seem that you’re going within beyond what you can understand.

Instead of moving as awareness with understanding, you begin to move within as beingness instead. As you begin to know the reality of that, without needing to understand it as you’re being it, you acquire direct knowledge of something that precedes your self and that is within; that this, that you are most subtly moving as within, isn’t measured by the self that you’re accustomed to, and that the more you’re being that within – without even understanding what you’re being, but that you do know the profound truth of what you’re being – the more that the beingness of that infuses your self.

Your self begins to open in the way that you could never before open as a self. Your self begins to blossom in ways so delicate. You acquire sensitivities that you didn’t even know existed before as a self. As you apply these sensitivities to your self and to what is outside of your self, healing continues. Your life becomes infused with what before was infusing your self because of what you were being in what precedes your self that is within. What then started as a mere self-acceptance, in your own honest following through, in your recognition of subtle beingness within that space that opened from the self-acceptance, you realize later that you discovered what you are as a being and that it is your realization of that, in being that, that without even understanding it before, it’s that that healed your self.

The source of healing doesn’t stop. In beginning to know as awareness what it is like to be beingness…what it is like to awaken as a being…that there’s a space that opens, not so much within your self but more deeply within than your self. There’s a space that opens in what you are as a being, and within that space there is a known subtlety that you have no understanding of, not only as a self but even as a being; that in knowing how to move as a being, you don’t understand what that subtlety is but you know the truth of it. It resonates more deeply than does the resonance of being able to move as beingness.

There is, to awareness, a draw of that that has you then invited to leave behind the way that you identify your self as awareness in being able to move as beingness. You respond more deeply within. Without understanding what’s occurring, you are responding to what is even more fundamental within, even more profoundly true within: responding to what is within that precedes not just your self but also your being. In responding to that, there is not even a sense of self. Even the sense of beingness grows dim. There is only knowing of what even beingness arises from. What remains is pure meaning without there even being the meaning of something. There is no sense of a meaning of. There is just awareness being meaning, without even moving as meaning.

The moment then that awareness, in being meaning, moves, there is beingness. The moment that awareness being meaning moves, you have your being. Having your being then means something completely new. It is different than having realized your being before. In having realized your being before, there is still something that precedes that. In awareness coming from being meaning, meaning comes into its being. Meaning then has its being. That’s a different being than a realized being. That’s meaning being.

As that moves…as beingness moves, awareness is moving as a being within the next form, within the self. Such movement of being, within the self that arises from meaning moving and having its being, has a resonance within the self that is finest healing. The delicacies of such healing exceed any kind of healing that occurred before in having realized your being and being that within your self, with the healing that came from that infusing your self.

Q: Thank you.