Q: I’ve heard you speak about the matrix, and I wonder what you mean by that. My other big question is what is my life all about?
John: What life is truly all about – if you surrender into the deeper reality of life – life is only about love.
Q: So we only came here to experience love?
John: No, not to experience it…
Q: To be it.
John: Yes.
Q: So why all the suffering?
John: Because you favour it. You favour suffering. You favour suffering over love. Everywhere you don’t love, you suffer.
Q: Love sounds like a big word, yet there’s no technique that teaches you how to do it.
John: That’s right. It’s baby-simple.
Q: How can I experience this love and let go of the suffering? I experience physical inability and I’ve done a lot to develop my self. I’ve learned almost every technique, but I’m in a vicious circle and don’t know how to get out of it.
John: You’ve developed the matrix within the matrix. You are party to the matrix.
Q: Please explain what the matrix is.
John: The matrix is an entire visible structure, an intensely actual structure that is this world, and none of it is real.
Q: So what’s real?
John: Love. Where love is not in the matrix, there is nothing real there in the matrix. Experiencing the actualness of the matrix of this world, of your self, doesn’t mean that it’s real. The real directly nurtures you.
Any thought, any feeling, any emotion, any movement of your will that doesn’t directly nurture you is actual, empowered and supported by you, but it isn’t real and when you die all of that structure, all of that actualness, is gone. It doesn’t stay with you.
The only thing that stays with you when you die is everything that is real that you lived, all of the direct nurture within that you lived, all of the love that was free to have you.
Q: Can I experience it in life?
John: The only way to experience it in life, in the midst of this whole matrix, is by you being it – being it without referencing what you experience. If you reference what you experience, you’ll be what you’re experiencing. Your unintegrated self, in that, takes you.
Q: What can I do? I hear what you say about staying in love, but I need something more practical.
John: Deeply, most quietly within, open in the midst of everything that you call practical.
Q: Open to what?
John: Openness. Open, keep opening until openness takes full possession of you, until openness has you. There, what you are is love.
Q: Meanwhile, there are all these belief systems. It looks as if they’d take more than one lifetime to get rid of.
John: If you give it nothing, it will all, on its own, die. If you try to walk away from it, that makes it live. If you turn your back on it, that feeds it. If you try to kill it, it will really thrive. But if you respond to openness in the deepest and in the most quiet way, everything that’s actual in your self but not real will die, and the real comes into it.
Q: What happened that makes me so closed?
John: Closing gives you a constant experience of your self, but it’s not real.
Q: So we need this closing?
John: If you need to experience your self, you will need to close because that’s what you’re used to. The need to experience your self is not real; the closing is also not real. When you close, you actualize illusion in your body, in your mind, in your self, in your nervous system. You make illusion physical.
If you open and soften your heart unconditionally in the midst of the matrix, and you follow that through at any personal expense, you make your being, you make reality, physical. Love becomes physical. You come into a nervous system that is the same as love: a love nervous system, in life; a being that has a body, instead of a self, separated from a being, that has a body.
Q: Why did it separate?
John: Everywhere that you closed, you separated. It doesn’t matter how good you think your reasons were for closing, those reasons, just like the closing, were not real.
Q: Thank you.
