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A Deeper Level Of Parenting: Awakening Your Child’s Interior

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When: February 21, 2015
Morning Open Mic
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Q: I have a question about my eleven-year-old son. He has some difficulties in school. It seems that regular school is not right for him and I’m looking at others. How do you see the importance of the school years? Am I doing more than I should, or not enough?

John: The deeper the level of your parenting, the less it makes any difference what school your child goes to.

Q: But he is only there for half a day and he suffers there!

John: If he suffers in school, he’s suffering from a lack of parenting: not a surface kind of parenting, but a depth of parenting.

If your parenting doesn’t include the realization of the depth of his own interior, then he’ll have a lack within his interior when he goes to school. In his experience, it will be about his environment. The truth of it is that it’s not a lack in his environment, or a lack of match between his environment and himself. It’s a lack of awakening within his own interior.  

Q: It’s true. I’m not sure how to get this through to him. Is it just by being this myself?  

John: Yes: by you deepening in your interior. That means that your interior can no longer be about what you think, feel and experience in your self. Your interior needs to be about what you know in your heart, and about your own being. That opens up the levels of your interior that pertain to your heart and your being, and these deeper levels begin to have mastery of the surface levels of your interior. As this takes place in you, your son sees how you are in your interior and that enables him to directly realize the deeper levels of his interior.

Q: So looking for other schools, trying to fix things or getting him a therapist are just meaningless?

John: They are not meaningless. All of those things help, and all those focuses are not the answer.

Q: The change has to come from me, then, rather than through him? Is that what you’re saying?

John: Yes. When you come from a depth of your own interior, when you are with him you’ll be with him from a greater depth of your interior. That activates a greater depth in his interior.

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John de Ruiter TRANSCRIPTS

on This Topic

Q1: I work as a speech therapist with children. When I hear you speak, it reminds me of the importance in psychological theory for children to grow up with soft hearts, good relationships and protection in order to develop their potential. Can you say more about this? John: It’s true
Q: We’re having a baby. I really feel the baby is going to be our greatest teacher. John: Having a baby will strengthen whatever orientation you presently have. Q: Will it? It won’t be the opposite? John: If you are giving heed to the specialness of what’s there, and you’re taking that specialness
Q: I have a question about raising children and enjoying them in the way you’ve been describing. I have two daughters. John: How old are they? Q: Five and nine. I enjoyed the first child from the beginning, and it has been easy. The second is very different. From the moment

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