The questioner in this dialogue has been experiencing heartache and loneliness. John speaks about the reasons for and purpose of heartache, revealing the opportunity for awakening that’s in it. The heartache is there to bring you to what your whole life is for; you ache in your heart until it opens.
This man has taken steps beyond his addictions and difficulties but fears ultimately succumbing to their power: it’s all just too painful. John encourages him in the one way that really works – to become gentled in his heart and to live his daily life in the realization of the nurture he will find there.
The Questioner feels guilty and trapped in her inability to deal with the pain of others. She knows that separating from them or confronting them doesn’t help. John shows her how a simple return to openness and softness of heart allows the cycle of their pain and hers to end… in her.
In this gentle, profound dialogue, a woman who was sexually abused by her father asks how she can be with the ongoing sense of uncleanness she feels in her body. John reveals to her deeper levels unaffected by the trauma, opening the possibility of true healing and a return to a heart-to-heart connection with her father.
Deeply loving someone and being in love… you start a relationship and then you wonder why, after familiarity has set in, the in-loveness is gone and there’s difficulty and pain. If you start from wanting and needing a relationship, you’re already relating in a way that isn’t like your being. So how to have a meaningful, pain-free relationship? Listen to this talk to find out!
There are so many things we can complain about. But what if we didn’t? What if we only expressed what we like? What would that do to our life? Listen to this talk to find out.
“Purity of heart is all in, and it doesn’t slow down because of a failure. Purity of heart is incapable of being discouraged. It’s incapable of being disappointed. Purity of heart without any use of strength is unstoppable.”
“I dread going to work: Should I leave my job?” This questioner is wondering how to deal with a difficult boss. John shows how, when there isn’t a tightening within, an unpleasant experience can actually open deeper love, making it possible to flourish even in difficulty.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
