Is it possible to let go of having been mistreated? This questioner feels angry about what happened in his career and is having a hard time finding forgiveness. John takes him to the root of what really matters, revealing the real cause of his separation and showing him the way home to his deep okayness within.
“I’m haunted by my abusive past. How can I let it go?” John shows us how our beliefs are embodied in our nervous system, creating experience we make our reality. He shows how real healing doesn’t come from understanding but from something much simpler: unconditional openness and softness of heart.
This vivid conversation dives into the topic of a real relationship to power. John describes how most of us live as both victims and perpetrators. We create a life of stories and illusion, losing the opportunity to awaken and, more importantly, to build on that awakening before we die. He reveals the fundamental simplicity and rare value of living a real life.
This man has experienced the disappointment of slipping into old patterns, letting love slip away, and ending up alone. Now in a new relationship, he wants to know how not to repeat that cycle.
“What is love?” is the question, and John’s response takes us first to the answer, and then into the many levels of love to be lived here in this life, and what remains after death. He then describes the purpose of integration and what is deeper, even, than being: what we are as meaning, aware … and moving.
Most of us experience emotional turmoil, destructive behaviour and mental difficulty in our lives from time to time. What is the cause of these states? How can we find equanimity of being in the midst of any situation? You, being the simplicity of this, is you directly resting into the beloved within.
“Let not your heart nor your self be a port for negativity.” This questioner has experienced the deeper ground she really belongs to, but can be overtaken by negativity. John shows her how to care for what she knows in her heart, even under pressure.
How can a person with strong mental conditioning connect to their heart? Through the example of loving someone, John shows the questioner how to be in his heart and, despite shyness and embarrassment, let it come into his face, filling his body and changing his thinking.
This questioner had an awakening which he hoped his Buddhist spiritual practice would open further. He feels stuck and wants to know how he can move forward. John explains that his awakening caused a shift in orientation that does not yet match the self that he has, the result being an ache felt deeply in his heart. John shows him the shift that is needed: a surrender beyond his understanding to the knowing in his heart.
Listen to this talk to find out what grace and devotion really are; where they come from, what they’re for, and how to live for what you belong to.
In this dialogue, John explains that the increased tension the questioner feels in his life has to do with his created sense of identity through a belief in fairness, giving him an illusory sense of personal entitlement. John goes on to explain how a belief in fairness naturally requires you to be on the lookout for unfairness, causing a closing of your heart and creating a source of tension in your life.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
