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Deeper Giving and Helping

Excerpt from a dialogue with John de Ruiter on October 9, 2015

Q: I do healing work and I’m very much into giving and helping others but you told me a while back that that’s not it. What did you mean by that?

John: It’s a distraction, because you can only give what you come from. As soon as you get into giving, you’re not going deeper because giving becomes a thing to do. It turns into an orientation. If you come from deeper, you’re going to give anyway, so you don’t need to be focusing on the giving.

Q: So is ‘doing’ giving a movement away from the being, a movement away from what’s really here?

John: It’s made to be more important than it is. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter and it has no importance, but it doesn’t have the importance of what’s deeper.

Q: So resting and abiding in what’s deeper is the real giving?

John: You can be going deeper but it will be incremental. It can seem like a lot, but you don’t realize how much more there is until you really go there.

Q: So how do you go there? I suppose that’s another ‘doing’ question isn’t it?

John: When you fundamentally stop doing everything that you are doing. That doesn’t mean that you don’t keep doing, but you realize that this isn’t it. It’s no longer your investment. Then, as you stop doing everything that has to do with familiarity, there’s only one place left and that’s the within, and the beyond that’s within. It takes everything to go that deep. If you have investments that you’re taking care of in how you move your self in this world, you won’t go into the within and the beyond.

Q: When I’m working, the doer fades away and it’s just a stream that’s coming through. Is this real or is this also a distraction?

John: Everything is a distraction. So all of the good, the really deep good in everything is a distraction until you’re focused on going within in a way that’s beyond all familiarity. When you’re not engaged in what’s familiar, there’s only one thing left over and that’s what’s deeper within. It isn’t that there’s anything wrong with your self. It’s just that everything else is a distraction to going deeper, because going deeper seemingly offers nothing. Being in everything that you’re familiar with is constantly offering something; it’s a part of your existence and your experience.

Every really sweet, good thing that you give meaning to is a distraction. That doesn’t make it bad. It’s distracting because it offers you something, and it’s something that you’re already used to. But it’s the within and the beyond within that give the richness and the meaning to all of the form you engage. If you stop short of that depth, then the meaning you give to form that you’re familiar with will be limited.

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