Q: Hello John. I feel it’s very right to be here because last week I suddenly had a feeling that although my life is content I was not able to say, “Yes, I’m so thrilled to be here, to be on this earth and to fully feel life through me, in me.” And that saddened me. And so I feel that something is blocking me from fully experiencing my divine essence, so that I can fully feel in every part of my being that I’m so thrilled to be here on this earth. I was hoping that you could give me some clarity on that.

John: There are as many levels to life as there are levels to you, so as much as you have awakened to you, you’ll be able to realize the richness of life. Your perception and your experience will be limited to what you are. For you to enter the all in life you need to enter the all in you. That means realizing your own interior.

You already know that your self is deeper than your person, and from within your self you have a sense of beingness, within, that’s deeper than your self. Knowing even that much gives you an idea of direction, within, that there is a ‘deeper’ and a ‘further’. The more that there is to your self and that you’ve awakened to of your self, the more of a person you’ll be able to be. Your depth of person is dependent on your depth of self and your depth of self is dependent on your realized depth of being, not just knowing a deeper beingness, within; not just knowing a deeper profound okayness, within, but being able to be profoundly okay within your self, as is, without having to change something of your self first for you to be that deeply okay, within.

You can realize a depth of such okayness, within, that enables a peace of being, a profound peacefulness that’s deeper than your self, and to be at rest in such beingness, within, is profoundly settling to your self that you are able to lead your self into that. With that much realized, within, even just somewhat, you’ll have a much deeper and wider experience of life. Your capacity for experience in that is much greater than when you are just simply confined to a little self, being confined to how you perceive your self as a person. The greater realized depth, within, has you being able to perceive and interact with the same outside of you. The more that you realize, within, the more that you begin to realize profound feeling, being able to realize from within your heart the meaning and value of things outside of you; being able to interact with that that is outside of you with more than just your senses.

As you awaken to more than just a simplicity of being, within, you begin to realize the subtleties of being, within, and the various streams of these subtleties of being. In awakening to that again you’ll find the same thing outside of you. Your capacity to know someone, to really see someone, is dependent on how much you are knowing, within, and how much you are seeing, within, and how much of that depth of real knowledge and real seeing that you are really coming from, so that it isn’t just something you access here and there, that it isn’t reduced to being a category or something convenient to bring in when you are in a crisis or when you are looking for nurture.

If you really take to heart every little bit you realize the truth of, within, then it will be that that you’ll be coming from, it’ll be that that you’re being. The more that you are being, within, the more you’ll have, from within, to be able to be, without; to interact and dwell with that that’s outside of you. Your capacity for meaningful interaction with everything is entirely dependent on what depth of meaning you are coming from, within.

As awareness, you can identify with your person and you’ll have meaning in that, but as you realize that there’s deeper, within, than your person, and you are sensitive to a self, within, there will be much more meaning that you’ll have in your person. As much as there is to your self in realizing that there is deeper, within, than your self, and you recognize and realize something of beingness, within…recognizing a loveliness of being, the slightest touch of which is experienced as being lovelier than your self…as that begins to move your heart you realize that your self is worth more than your person, and your being is worth more than your self; that all of the real meaning and value really comes from that that’s deeper, within.

It is profound honesty, within, honesty as awareness, within all of your heart, that enables you to identify what it is within that you have real knowledge of. What is it that you know and what is it that you merely perceive? Separating between real knowledge and meaningful information, what do you really know the truth of, within, without being dependent on what you’ve learned? Your learning as awareness keeps pointing to that which you know the truth of, within: real knowledge, unlearned.

As you begin to recognize it and see it, you can trace it all the way back. It’s always been there; that you’ve been in relationship with such real knowing in your heart all along. You may not have identified with it, you may not have given your heart to that, but you have actually always known it. It is all a part of your infrastructure as a self. Without that, as a self you wouldn’t have anything. It’s easy to overlook because it is, in your heart, your own quiet knowing. It doesn’t move with power. It doesn’t offer you great things in your self. You have the constancy of real knowledge, within, that is always supportive despite whatever kind of self you have.

As you identify that real knowledge, that which you really know the truth of, within – even if you’re not understanding it – you still have it as a knowing in your heart. As soon as that knowing moves in your heart and you have real awareness of it, you are profoundly touched in your heart. For you, within, it is most quieting and nurturing nectar. The more quieted you are, within, the richer it is. As you begin to realize that, you realize that the more is actually within the less. So instead of trying to have more, without, because there is always a resonance, within, that there is more, you become more profoundly sensitive as awareness within your heart, surrendering to the truth that you know. Even if you don’t understand what it is, you know, within, that it is. Your knowing that it is moves more deeply in you than anything else in your life. Anything can pass away but your resonance of profound meaning, within, doesn’t.

Your access into such meaning, within, isn’t dependent on your understanding. It isn’t dependent on your life experiences. It’s dependent on your belief, your belief of that resonance, within, that touches more deeply than anything in your life. The more that you really are believing that resonance, believing that you are knowing, within, the more that you’ll be entering that, entering that, within, that has everything to do with you and actually little at present to do with your self.

Everything you’ve learned and acquired as a self and as a person doesn’t help you very much concerning your entrance to real knowledge, within. You’re accustomed to believing whatever it is that suits you. You’re accustomed to believing in your person. You’re accustomed to believing in your self. The strongest draw of belief will be to that that has the most form. It is that that gives you the most experience. It’s easier for you to believe your emotions than for you to believe most delicate feeling. The finer that you move, within, the more awareness is required to sustain belief in that which you are knowing the truth of. It won’t be sustained by form. It won’t be sustained by everything that you’ve learned as a self and as a person. It won’t be sustained by your life experiences. It is only sustained by you, as awareness, believing the deepest, within, that you know the truth of. You’ll be able to give some belief because you do know.

The more serious you are in your heart concerning your direction in moving, within, in realizing what you actually know, within, the more belief you’ll have. But your patterning will always be, until it’s opened, that you’ll move, within, to enrich your self. The underlying premise in that is that your self is of greater value than everything that precedes your self; that your self is of greater value than all of the deep, within…until that underlying premise is really seen for what it is, where you have real awareness in it and you compare it to what you know in your heart that does as yet have little to do with your self: the deep, within.

Without the deep, within; without the resonance of profound meaning, within; without that constancy of real knowledge, within, your self wouldn’t have any meaning. Your self is entirely dependent on that which you are that’s deeper than your self. As you really begin to realize that, your own knowledge of the truth, within, becomes to you that which is everything. Everything else of yours is dependent on it. For you, as awareness, to believe what you are knowing, within, believing with all of your heart, what you believe is that which you then belong to instead of belonging to your self. You would from within all of your self belong to this real knowledge, within, that you know the truth of in your heart, that you have real resonance of.

Then your way becomes that of profound surrender, within, as awareness within all of your heart, moving into real agreement with everything that you know the truth of, within. Through profound surrender there is the turning around of awareness from being deeply-seated in your self to being deeply-seated in what you know the truth of, within. It is that then which you are being, being that within all of your self. What you are believing in the deep of your heart is what fills your heart, for better or for worse.

If you are relating to power, if you are relating to want and need and using what power you have to achieve because of valuing your self and your person more than anything else, within, then you’ll become accustomed in your heart to closing and hardening. Your heart becomes filled with that, and what occupies and fills your heart then occupies and fills your self. As you begin to realize though your own experience that how you are in your heart determines what you’ll be and how you are in your self, then you really begin to know and experience that you know that it is fundamentally true for you to open and soften in your heart and not to close and harden in your heart.

You can know that and make use of that and it becomes part of your self, but it still doesn’t have you entering the deep, within. That doesn’t come without full belief in what you are knowing in your heart. With full belief, your entire heart is given over to knowing instead of some measure of your heart belonging to want and need. What you realize in life and the richness of experience is completely dependent on what you are, within, and from how deep you are coming, within. There is much more to your interior than there is to your realized world; your realized world, for you, is dependent on what you are in your own interior. As soon as you begin to understand that and see that, believe that. Believe it and you’ll then be it.

When you are, as awareness, most profoundly quieted within all of your heart, you will know even more deeply than all of this. You’ll have knowing and resonance of something beyond all of this that you already have a sense of that you can awaken to. There is a resonance of the great beyond, within. Without giving it a label, without trying to apprehend it with your mind, without trying to affix an understanding to it, without trying to have perspective around it, believe it.

What you believe, within, of such profound direct knowledge, within, enters you. It has then access into your self, profoundly altering your self. As awareness, what you have belief in of what you know the truth of, you will then be in your self. It’s that resonance that gives you in your self a touch of entrance to the beyond, within. You’ll become grounded, as awareness, in that which is much deeper than your self.

For you to know, within, isn’t really very much. For you to believe what you are knowing, within, is everything. Without it you can’t enter the deep, within, and without that there’s no entrance of the deep, within, to your self. Everything, within, everything of you, is completely dependent on your realization of the everything, within, beginning with whatever it is that you most deeply presently know the truth of. That’s your door. Full belief in what profound honesty, within, knows the truth of gives real entrance. Effort, focus and discipline can help in pointing to such a direction, within, but by that you cannot accomplish entrance. It is only awareness believing knowing that enters.

That has you, within all of your person, your life, and your self, realizing what you have, what you’ve acquired, and what is of greater value and meaning than all of that, and that has you then entering that, entering that which you first are. As awareness, you become weaned of want and need within all of your self, accomplishing a realized-within-all-of your-self change of orientation: no longer being oriented, as awareness, by what self you have, but being oriented as awareness by the deepest that you know the truth of, within. The shift of orientation is accomplished by awareness believing knowing, believing knowing more than it believes itself; awareness believing that which precedes everything.

Profound honesty knows much more than what it understands, and profound honesty then believes what it knows. Profound honesty surrenders to the limitation of knowing. It surrenders to the everything only that it knows, giving it entrance, within. Freedom.

First know, then believe. That’s you, with awareness, knowing and entering the more of you that you cannot be the all of you without.