596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
Q: Hi John. It’s been such an incredible experience to have been here in Edmonton the last few days, for meeting you and meeting the community, and being met by such a warm, loving, encompassing energy. I also have these floor-moving sensations that kind of come out of nowhere, if you can talk to me a little about what that’s about.
John: You experienced it moving in your body because the floor of your self was moving. It was shifting because you were opening. You were experiencing how moveable and changeable your floor is.
The deeper that you go within, the more that your floor will move. It’s unsettling for your self because you’d rather, in your self, for it just stay the way it is. But you are meant for much more within than what you’ve been confined to in your self. The self is meant to expand and change. Its floor is meant to open, but that doesn’t occur without you deeply opening, opening to the more of you that isn’t there yet in your self. Your floor was moving because you knew directly, within, there is more, and you were responding to it. You were responding to what you knew, so your floor started opening; it started to move. It was making room for what you were opening into.
Q: How do I continue to open that floor and go deeper in the world that I have created where I feel that I get carried away with life? And it sometimes seems that my growth kind of gets stunted just by the routines and the busyness of life, and the longing and the desire for wanting to slow down and go deeper is always there. So how do you create that balance?
John: By you being given to what you know, what you know is your real life, and from what you’re saying it’s clear to you that your life, as you experience it, isn’t your real life. It’s what covers your real life. What you’re doing with your life isn’t your real life.
When your floor starts to move, it’s because it’s opening, making room for your real life because you’re responding to the real, regardless of how that may affect your self and your life. When your floor is moving, that’s because you’re letting the deeper truth, within, into your self, and that deeper truth you don’t have in your life; it’s there in you, and without you being given to it, consciously, it isn’t going to come up into your self. So you’ll live your life mostly without it.
Q: In the first videos I saw of you, I saw your face changing and I’m experiencing that right now. I would like you to talk to me a little bit about what that experience is about.
John: That experience is about you – what you really are. You drop into a deeper level of you than what you’re used to and your seeing changes. You begin to see as a being instead of the way you’re used to seeing, which is as a self and a person. What you see as a being doesn’t make sense to your self because your self isn’t made of that, yet. It hasn’t been formed by that, yet.
As you drop into this deeper level where your seeing opens and changes, you see differently. Stay in that level while you’re in your life, and your self will match what you’re being in it. But so will your life. Your whole life will change, and if you want to keep your life the way it is, then you won’t go into these deeper levels because they all promise to change your self, your life, your person and your whole sense of reality. As these deeper levels start to open, you come to know the truth directly: not through anything you’ve learned, not through your mind, not through your past, not through your self, but just directly by you.
Deeper levels of you start to open, which opens up deeper levels of reality. You’re awakening to the more of you. If you’re given to it and taken by it, it will change everything else that you’re used to. You are dropping way deeper within. As you are absorbed into your self and your life, you know very little. As you drop deeper within, you start to know more. It’s all direct knowledge.
As you open profoundly within, you come into very deep levels of knowledge. You really start to get to know you. As you do, you also realize the great disparity between you – what you are, what you are like, all deeply within – and what your self is like. They are so not the same. Your self is genetic and it isn’t real. The wonder of your self is that it is so changeable. It will change to match anything that you are being in your self.
When you are being your conditioning, when you are being your beliefs, your self will change to match. When you are being what you are directly knowing the truth of, within, that direct knowledge doesn’t offer you an understanding; it only offers you you. But as you are being that in your self, in your day, in your life, your self will change. Your whole perspective of life and in life will change. As you let that change by this direct knowledge within, nothing will remain as you’ve known it. This great expansion, within, of what you really are will completely overtake your life.
Q: It’s interesting because this knowledge I believe I had very young. I guess we all do, but I do remember very clearly having this profound knowledge of what the world should be, and it was just not reflected in my surroundings. And I think my self abandoned that knowledge along the way, and having been here the last few days and being in an environment that is all love and all what I’ve always known in my heart, has been very profound.
John: You can have more by letting what you’re already dropping into of deeper levels of you, your direct knowledge of that, by you letting that have your self and not protecting anything of your self from this awakening that you’re coming into. If you hold to what you’re awakening to, within, you’ll lose your self to you. Your self won’t stay the same and with that, your life will be taken by what you really are, filled with what you really are, which will change your whole meaning of your life. It won’t be a life of your self anymore. It’ll be a life of the deep, within, and how that takes hold of your self and shapes your self it shapes your life. You won’t be shaping your self and your life from the perspective of what’s personal to you. It won’t be shaped by personal wants and needs. It’ll be shaped by these deeper levels of you that you’re directly awakening to, directly knowing, not really understanding, and despite not understanding you’ll let these deeper levels of you have your self. Without that, your self will continue to be not real, and your life will continue to be not real even though you know there’s more. You’re knowing directly what is real. You can’t come into the much, much more of reality without coming into the much more of you, of what you really are.
This world, most of your life as you’ve known it, and most of your self as you’ve known it, isn’t real. It’s actual; it has form, it has function but not real function. Its function doesn’t directly satisfy and meet you; it’s just what you do. It’s what you do with your self; it’s what you do with your life, but it has little to do with what you really are.
The opening of your heart is the beginning of you coming into what you really are. The rest of you, the much, much more of you, is all known through the opening of your heart into all of your being, where you get to know not just you, but you as a being: how you stream as a being, how you stream within as a being, how you stream with others as a being, and how this streaming shapes and molds your self and your life. It isn’t shaped from the outside in but from your innermost outwards. Shape it from the outside in and it won’t be real. It’ll be actual but artificial.
This is all levels and levels of nurtureful meaning that is so not like your self, and unusual to your self. You’re used to being your self but you’re not used to being all of these deeper levels of what you really are, and how the opening of that brings what’s real to you.
We have been meeting not as persons or selves, but as beings. You don’t need your person, your self for you to move as a being, but you do need all of your self, all of your person, all of your life for you, a being, to come right out into this world.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
595 – When a Crumb of Truth in Your Heart is Your Home
John responds to a spiritual dilemma: a desperate longing for realization, coupled with the fear of nothingness that seems to come with it.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
592 – Beyond Self-Acceptance: The Way of Deep, Inner Healing
An experience of misplaced anger has raised the question of what real healing is. John takes us beyond simple self-acceptance, deep into the source of the finest healing of all.
591 – The Truth About Compassion
When is compassion self-centred, when is it real, and how can we tell? An exploration of what it means to be truly compassionate.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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