Q: A few years ago I felt my awareness was opened and I could pulse or vibrate with the entire universe. I keep seeing you in gold all the time. At times I feel that I can see the entire room becoming gold. A stop or maybe a fear does not allow this expansion. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by it. If you can tell me about those different experiences.
John: What keeps you being your self and what keeps you in familiarity is your own nervous system. Your own nervous system is like the ground of your body. It’s what stabilizes you. It’s what makes your reality real and cohesive in everything that you’re familiar with.
The deeper levels of reality and all of greater reality is in everything. It’s not just in you. It is in every thing. It is in your body. Your own nervous system in your body holds you to what you’re used to. That makes physical reality, and your being in it, confined and safe. It has you realizing what you have already integrated of physical reality and of your self. You have opened to deeper levels of reality and you’re seeing in them. Your nervous system is opened in that and because your nervous system has form, it also has limitation. When you as awareness open into what knowing is and you move as knowing, you won’t be confined to reality in how you’ve experienced it, and you won’t be confined to your own sense of physical reality.
When you move as knowing, you move as reality. You’re able to move in all the deeper levels of reality. As soon as you begin to do so, in moving as what knowing is, that is going to affect your nervous system. It’s going to hit your nervous system. In your nervous system, that translates as you’re entering something that doesn’t belong in your body. It’s other than what your nervous system is used to. In this way, your nervous system protects you, and for you to move further you can’t be going by your nervous system anymore.
When you awaken to the deeper levels of reality, within, and that is in everything, you move by knowing. For you to move as the deeper levels of your body, you can’t be moving as your nervous system. Your nervous system doesn’t yet go into all of the deeper levels of what your body is. That doesn’t develop without your moving ahead of your own nervous system. You transcend your nervous system. When you move as awareness in ways that your own nervous system cannot comprehend, that is like an earthquake in your nervous system. It causes a breaking in what you’re used to. The discomfort of that can be immense, and you know better than even the immensity of that discomfort.
You know more than what informs you of your nervous system. Once you realize that and you’re knowing that, you can’t use your own nervous system to inform you when you’re moving into regions of reality that have not yet moved into your nervous system. If you value your nervous system not being tampered with, that value translates into your own relating, your own relating as awareness. That value puts in place a buffer and that buffer is a mechanism to keep you as awareness from travelling freely in what knowing is. It keeps you away from the deeper levels of reality. The buffer keeps you in what is familiar. You’ll have times, such as in a meeting like this, where you will give permission for the buffer to not be needed, and in your living you keep the buffer because you value your nervous system remaining intact.
Your nervous system is capable of awakening in the same way that you awaken. Your nervous system is able to grow into all of reality and all of the deeper levels of your body. That also means that you will have a nervous system of constant change, which is different from how you experience your nervous system. Your nervous system is one of constancy; it isn’t one of change. Your nervous system protects you from change. Because of what you’re awakening into, you don’t need that protection anymore.
Now what protects you is knowing. Knowing is safer for you than any safety provided by your own nervous system. It’s safer for you than the safety provided by your self. It’s safer than all of your knowing. Knowing is safer for you than your past. When you awaken to what knowing is, because you’re moving into greater reality, the more of reality than what you’ve perceived before brings you into more of what knowing is. When you relate strictly to knowing, you know that knowing is safe. In responding to that, you release as awareness from being tied to your mechanisms. Your mechanisms are not safe for you anymore. You don’t need what they provide. You have already transcended what they are. Now you need to freely move in what knowing is.
Q: When you gave the example that the wall is there I just know it and I can go back because of the knowing. Knowing already includes trust.
John: You know that you can trust. That doesn’t mean you will trust. When you know that a wall is behind you, and every time you go to lean against it you look first to make sure that it still is before you lean, if you have to look every single time, as soon as you lean away from it and you go to lean back, you’ll quickly look first. In this reality, in this world, if someone would see you doing this all the time, that you always have to check before you lean, they would see that there’s actually something wrong with you, something is missing in you where you cannot depend on what is fair for you to depend on. Something has not come together in you. You would be seen as being in some way dysfunctional.
In the deeper levels of reality is also like that. When you know the truth of something, you need to be relating to what you’re knowing. There needs to be not a separation between you as awareness and what you’re knowing. For you to always check if you still know will keep you from moving as knowing, even though what you are as awareness cannot exist without knowing. Awareness needs to lean into what knowing is. Awareness needs to completely come into knowing.
At first, it’s trusting and relating. Through the trusting and the relating, the oneness grows. The oneness needs to not stop growing. It needs to become complete. The more complete it is, the more you, awareness, are able to move as you, knowing. You need to be able to move as one. Then in anything you come to know is less to be depended on, you need to no longer depend on.
When you know you have transcended your own nervous system, you need to live past what your own nervous system is, so that your nervous system can come into new ground. It needs to become new. It doesn’t become new without you being what you know is new. Any restriction you hold, that you think is with good reason, limits you. It doesn’t let you move as what knowing is. However justified you feel in depending on something you’re used to, it binds you to what you’re used to. What you are is much greater than anything of what you’re used to.
When you awaken to greater reality, you awaken to greater knowing. As this awakening occurs, what was safe for you is changing. What was safe becomes unsafe. It isn’t because it is unsafe on its own. It’s because you are awakening. You’re awakening to what you are. You’re coming to greater knowing. As you come into greater knowing and you’re not being released into greater knowing, your power of greater knowing is being given to what you’re accustomed to. The power of greater knowing is being added to your own nervous system. That will make your nervous system worse.
Once awakening to greater reality you cannot safely go back. You can safely only move forward. Before, what was safe for you is what you had. Now what is safe for you is narrowed to what you are. What you are is much greater than what you had, but what you are doesn’t have the form of what you had, so in your nervous system it registers as being less.
When you awaken into greater knowing, you cannot hold to familiar knowing. Familiar knowing for you in greater knowing isn’t safe anymore. What is safe for you has opened. It’s different. You need to be stepping into what you have already awakened into. That requires your trust and your relating. It requires you as awareness being ‘in’, in greater knowing. Greater knowing encompasses and includes familiar knowing and it isn’t limited to it anymore. You need to be all-in all you know, whatever that may cost you. It is going to cost you in what you’re familiar with.
The reality that you live in cannot be limited anymore. Your self can not remain what you’ve been familiar with anymore. Your self needs to open and change. As you move into greater knowing, you need the support of form as a foundation from which to move. You need a self in place that is more. That self isn’t going to be a constant in the way that you’re familiar with; it is going to be a constant self of change. The greater knowing you move into and become as, the more your self needs to open and change. Your self is always going to move more slowly than you because it is form. In that way, you’re always, as awareness, being greater knowing ahead of your self. You must be ahead of your self because you’re able to be ahead of your self, and your self must be coming up behind you. When you’re not letting it shift and move and change, then you’re creating a separation between your self and what you are that is going to impede what you are, and the power of knowing is going to go into the familiarity in your self, making it concrete in a way that you couldn’t make your self concrete before.
So in that way, you’ll be hurting your self and you’ll be putting in place what is difficult to undo. You’ll be developing a sophistication in your self that is able to feel safe without change, that is able to keep an old nervous system while at the same time be connected to greater knowing. It will be a higher level of fooling your self. You need to move ahead in every way you can; knowing moving into greater knowing and your self following up behind, turning into a greater self.
You need forms of oneness. You can come into oneness. On a deeper level, within, you can be what oneness is, but then your forms cannot remain separate from that anymore. They need to come into what you are coming into. That is by you, as awareness, being all-in all you know and being that in your self and in your nervous system, which is going to cause disruption. You are going to be causing change. You need to be moving forward in what you’re knowing particularly when it is an inconvenience to your self or to how your life has been put together, For the change in your self and in your life to not occur isn’t safe for you. What is safe for you is knowing. What you know the truth of, within, is safe for you to be all-in.
This is going to go much further than what you have awakened to. You already know what it is like to move from knowing to greater knowing. Once that principle of movement is established in you, you cannot safely stop it. Once you know there is more to you than what you’ve known before, you come to know that the more of you is what you belong in. You must awaken to the more of you. You cannot stop knowing more. You cannot slow it down. It needs to quicken; it needs to accelerate. It needs to move much faster than the rate of awakening that you’re familiar with.
What you are coming into and what others are coming into is a different stage of the evolution of awareness. Once you come into that you can’t go back and, when you know there’s more, you can’t not enter it for you to be you. For you to be you is for you to be the more of you. Your past does not reflect your capacity. Your potential isn’t known in your past. You know your potential when you as awareness awaken to greater knowing. The greater knowing you’ve come into has only started. In your nervous system, in your self, in your life, greater knowing is scary. In what you are as awareness knowing, greater knowing is goodness.
You’re able to see more than all you’ve seen. For that, as awareness, you need to be all-in all you know. You keep coming into greater knowing because of greater seeing. You see more and in the greater seeing you are knowing more. You come into greater knowing because of greater seeing; you need to come into greater seeing because of greater knowing. That means for you, as awareness, it is real that your forms are not you; they are yours. When you open, they open. That requires you relating directly to knowing. Your forms will follow.
What enables knowing to have form, what enables you to have form, is that knowing is in-dissolvable. Knowing is sure, enabling its form to seem sure. Your self and your life need to be transforming, because you as awareness have come into greater knowing. Greater reality is opening. For your self and your life to transform so that it is reflecting what you’re being instead of reflecting your past, the old in your self and the old in your life that you are knowing you’re not needing anymore needs to dissolve. It needs to pass away in the same way that it will pass away when you die.
Q: Getting ready to come to this meeting, I felt that the old self is falling apart. I’m okay with it. There was much less drama about it; it was just the way it was – part of the process.
John: Not “much less drama”.
Q: Zero drama.
John: Sweetly none. Then you are as awareness all-in all you know. When your story is no longer what lives, what you are lives. For you to be what greater reality is and not just awakened to it, you will be story-less, complaint-free – self pity being something that you’re incapable of relating to. It doesn’t even fit in you anymore. It’s foreign.