Q: Having a relationship first based on what you know, cannot see, and don’t understand…
John: A relationship not based on your selves and it grows out of what is deeper than your selves. It isn’t based on likes and dislikes, but love that comes from the deep. There, you don’t first see each other; you know each other. Out of the seeing that comes from that, you eventually come to understand each other. With the first understanding, you forgive each other of what selves you have. That makes room for your selves and your selves are no longer a problem.
It is the environment within which you have your beings together. Love, instead of being unseen, is between the two of you made physical: the levels of your being made real in your selves through your body. Multi-leveled bodies realized.
Love isn’t a feeling. Love is how movement is in your being. It’s how your being moves. From what you’re familiar in your self, you cannot first see it. It comes into your self and becomes seen as you move as the levels of your own being.
Because you are in a body, when you move by these levels, when you move as them, they become physical. Instead of being a body of your self, you are a body of your being, filling the body of your self. The infilling transforms it, enabling your self to move as your being moves, and love is then seen.
Q: Does it need to be expressed? Sometimes I feel that it really doesn’t; it’s much more than sexual desire.
John: It doesn’t relate to sexual desire and appetite. It relates to your deeper sexuality, your real capacity from within your being to meet and commune. Real sexuality is streams of being comprehended in your body.
Q: Is it giving each other your awakening through your body?
John: Yes.
Q: We’re coming into something of this, and for me, until I sat here, it felt just a bit out of my reach.
John: Good. Then you can’t have it. You can respond to it. As you respond, you reconfigure. As you even a little bit become like your being, you find her everywhere in her body.
Q: How can I respond to it better or more?
John: Begin with dearness. Dearness in you finds her and, in any little way she moves as dearness, you read her and receive her. Your streams of being are what you have to move that in you, in her, and together. Sexuality isn’t for your selves; it’s for your beings.
Q: We give it to our beings in every way we can, and it can take a long time for us to be actually being our beings.
John: To come into it, it doesn’t require maturity. It requires purity. Dearness brings you into purity.
Q: What’s dearness?
John: Heart extension. It cannot occur without you being in your heart and being what you know in your heart. From there, any movement toward each other is the simplest form of love. You are purely dear to each other, despite what selves you have, despite what conditioning and past you have.
Q: And that’s the same as being home when you’re being in all of your heart and all of what you know in your heart?
John: Yes. Home together without a process. Home together in response to each other. You’ll know each other and you’ll see each other. The effect of that on your selves is quiet wonderment. Present in your selves in a way that is not informed by any past. What makes it exquisite is that it’s pure.
Q: Do you need a clean sexuality all the way through for it to be pure?
John: Don’t begin with anything you’re accustomed to. If you do, you misunderstand. Begin in your heart and find the same in her. Begin in your heart, the two of you together and wonderfully inexperienced.
Q: I love the purity.
John: Of course you do. It’s what you really are.
597 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 1)
Person, self, being … what’s the difference and what is real? Using different analogies, John explains how our different levels connect and shares the code to being what we really are.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
595 – When a Crumb of Truth in Your Heart is Your Home
John responds to a spiritual dilemma: a desperate longing for realization, coupled with the fear of nothingness that seems to come with it.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
591 – The Truth About Compassion
When is compassion self-centred, when is it real, and how can we tell? An exploration of what it means to be truly compassionate.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
