580 – Becoming a Scientist of Love
“You know what it is to be intelligent; do you know what it is to be a being?” Step by step, John shows how to explore our being, filling what is known intellectually with its extraordinary qualities.
John de Ruiter Podcast 555
John de Ruiter Podcast 555
The Truth About Anger: What it Means to Have Real Self-Control
When: April 5, 2016 @ 7:30pm
Topics: Feelings & Emotions, Introductory
How can I be with painful feelings of anger and fear? John explains what’s really happening in even the smallest experience of frustration and how to regain real control.
“As soon as you have even a touch of anger, the reality there is you’re not telling your self the truth.”
- The Truth About Anger: What it Means to Have Real Self-Control 00:00
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Podcast Transcript
The Truth About Anger: What it Means to Have Real Self-Control
Q: I feel a lot of pressure in my body, pain, and also I feel a lot of emotion, anger, and at the same time a fear, I think, of the anger. Can you say anything about being with that?
John: If you have anger, that means that you’ve been lying to your self. When you have anger, that means that you’re giving your power away to something that you didn’t know the truth of.
Q: That resonates in me but I don’t know what. It resonates because I’m also feeling the victim when the anger is there.
John: When you give your power to a conclusion, when you draw a conclusion within a circumstance or concerning your self or concerning another person, when you draw a conclusion that you don’t actually know the truth of, you make something true that isn’t true. So there, you’re giving your power to something that is an illusion.
When you give your power away to something that’s an illusion, what will happen is that you’ll easily be angered because you don’t have the deep control that you had before you gave it away to a conclusion that you didn’t know the truth of. When you give up your deepest control, you’ll be subject to frustration, annoyance and anger. So as soon as you are feeling annoyed or a little frustrated, or a little upset, or a little angry – anything like that – as soon as you begin to feel negativity inside, that should be telling you that you’re beginning to fool your self and it’s working. (laughter)
Q: How?
John: It’s taking hold.
Q: In the way that I believe it?
John: When you give belief to a conclusion that you’ve drawn that you don’t know the truth of, you’re giving your power away and then you no longer have that power for what it belongs to. It belongs to your heart, and it belongs even more specifically to what you know the truth of in your heart.
When you give that power up to something on the surface that isn’t deserving of that power, you’re telling your self something that matters that you actually know better. But when you tell your self what matters that’s contrary to what you know the truth of in your heart, you fool your self and then your self comes back to you and fools you. First, you fool your self because you conclude the truth of something that you don’t actually know. Once you’ve drawn that conclusion you’ve taught your self how to experience so it continues to have that nature of experience, which fools you.
As soon as you have even a touch of anger, the reality there is you’re not telling your self the truth. When you’re just a little bit annoyed or a little bit frustrated, you’re not telling your self the truth. You’re telling your self something that you actually know isn’t true. You lose your power, and in that loss of power you experience in some way being a victim of your self, a victim of your patterns, when the truth is – the deep truth is – you are more than all of your self, all of your past and all of your patterns.
When you’re having a problem with your patterns, you’re not telling your self the truth. You’re giving your power away to something that doesn’t matter as much as what’s beneath the patterns. When you give that power away, you don’t have as much power anymore to just simply be. When you give your power away you experience the lack in your self.
When you remain in your deepest power, which doesn’t come from your self – your deepest power is you being what you really are – then any lack in your self isn’t going to be a problem to you. It won’t be a source of frustration. Instead of being unhappy about anything, you’re able to reach and return to not just a smile within, but the tiniest, tiniest, deepest, most quiet smile within that isn’t subject to anything that you experience. That gives you your depth of being. When you’re in that, you won’t be frustrated, you won’t be annoyed, you won’t be angry. Instead you love.
Any time you have the slightest sense of losing control – when you’re annoyed you’ve lost control, when you’re frustrated or angry you’ve lost control – any time that you begin to feel that you’re losing control, that should be telling you that you’re giving your power away to something that you don’t know the truth of.
When you’re giving your power away you’re also leaving your heart, so as soon as you begin to be a little bit annoyed, frustrated or angry, just simply listen to your heart. When you’re listening to your heart, you’re telling your self the truth. So instead of fooling your self you’re informing your self of what’s real and true.
Q: Thank you so much.
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