605 – The Cost of Cutting Yourself Off from Others
How can you be around people you care for, but don’t agree with? Dissociation only manifests more separation, and John shares how to stay connected.
Q: My first question is how can I handle the conditionings and patterns which I’m not aware of in this moment, and what about the unconscious mind? How do I integrate this?
John: Like that. Like how you were after you finished speaking and not like how you were while you were speaking. When you were finished speaking, the difference is key. The difference is critical. The two of us together didn’t meet until after you were finished speaking. Then your heart opened and you came up, and your heart came forward through the interior of your face. While that is not taking place in your own interior, you won’t be able to deal with what you were speaking of.
Q: Is there a difference between knowing and awareness and compassion?
John: While you were speaking you were not in any of them. As soon as we are meeting, you are in them. It isn’t critical for you to understand them. It is critical for you to be in them. The heart-understanding is the result of being in them. The more rooted you are in them, the deeper your heart-understanding.
If your first step is that of competence, experience and inquiry, then you’ll not have what matters first and your first step will be in your way. Then it is no longer for you about apprehending something, but rather about your own heart being wonderfully apprehended. When what is deeper than your self delightfully has your heart, it will then have your self, and it will then have your person. If you reverse the order, you’re putting forms in place and you’re putting habit in place that is other than what is deeper than your self.
Concerning what is deeper, within, than what your self is, if you’re trying to learn about it or learn in it as a person, you’ll be completely outside of it. The more the learning, the more that you’ll be acquiring as a person, increasing the distance. If you let go of needing to learn about it as a person and you go about it learning as a self, you’ll be much closer and in principle you will still be doing the same thing. If you use your self in an effort to learn about anything that’s deeper than your self, you become even more not like what you are in the deep. You’ll equate the receiving of information with knowledge.
To receive knowledge from within, you need to be the same as the beingness of that knowledge. When your beingness is the same as the beingness of the knowledge, then you are fundamentally receptive. When the beingness is the same, your levels open and the deepest level within moves through all of the other levels. In that way, you are being apprehended by what’s deeper than what you’re used to. Because the beingness is the same as the beingness of knowledge, there is nothing in the way.
The path of knowledge is by its own beingness. As soon as your beingness is the same, the knowledge that is deepest, within, enters the rest of you. It has way in you. As soon as your beingness is slightly different than the beingness of knowledge, the knowledge still moves, but it moves in a way that is limited because you have a filter in place. The receiving of living knowledge is then in some way on terms that are different than the beingness of knowledge.
When you’re wanting to know something or understand something, if you were to acquire the understanding, what will you do with the information? What is going to happen with that information? Where does it go, what does it help, and what does it serve?
If real and sought-after information isn’t received first in your heart, by your own heart, you in your heart being apprehended by the real knowledge that’s in it, then it will be received first in your self or first in your person, and you’ll be developing a form, a form that works, that forbids your heart being apprehended. Then that structure received in some way needs to be undone before your heart can be apprehended. It needs to be let go of.
If you value beingness in your heart more than heart-understanding, you’ll be coming into both.
Q: Thank you very much.
605 – The Cost of Cutting Yourself Off from Others
How can you be around people you care for, but don’t agree with? Dissociation only manifests more separation, and John shares how to stay connected.
604 – Broken Relationship: The Kindness of a Hundred-Year Perspective
Imagine looking at the the pain of a lost relationship from the kindness of a hundred-year perspective. New possibilities will open, and John explains.
603 – Your Deepest, Most Delicate Belonging
The sense of entering the second half of life is sharpening this person’s focus on what matters most, and raising some fundamental questions.
602 – Honest to the Core: Oneness in the Midst of Separation
A deep dive into the power of profound honesty to make oneness as reachable as going to sleep – without actually falling asleep.
601 – Don’t Go Figure, Go Sweetly Within
Sometimes, figuring things out doesn’t work in the way we expect. Dissolving core patterns is one example of this, and John explains why.
600 – Out of Your Comfort Zone, Into Your Heart
A perplexing and destructive habit is the focus of this dialogue. What could be so threatening about being touched by goodness?
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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