Q: Recently I had this experience like I’m disappearing, and a great fear appears there. I feel like I’m preventing this experience to fully unfold; like there is a barrier that I just, when I reach there, I’m terrified.
John: You have that only in your self. You don’t have it in you. When you lie down to go to sleep, as you reach the tipping point of sleep, your past disappears, your day disappears, your mind, your self, your relationships, your whole life disappears. And all that remains is you, and you’re at home in that. You return to being you, without all of your forms, every time you reach the tipping point of sleep. That’s your return, through your heart, into your being, into what you really are, and it is absolutely nurturing to you – not in thought, but in reality. Your return to you tells you the truth. Your experience in your life, in your self, tells you what you are conditionally experiencing. It doesn’t tell you the truth. Live believing you instead of living believing your self.
Q: It’s very challenging when the body’s involved as well. Can you give some practical thing? When it’s about pain or illness, I’m losing it. I’m going into my self, totally. It’s like a fear in the body.
John: Stop making pain practical. As soon as you make it practical you engage your self and you do something about the pain for pain relief. You do it not for you; you do it for your self, and in that way you get lost in your self. You cease being what you really are and you’ll be your self instead, and it’s not real. Instead of first making everything practical, first you be what you really are, and it’s not practical.
Being what you really are does not give you something to do. It returns you home. And that’s it. Nothing you can do can make that better. You being at home within is at first not practical. It’s you. As soon as you make it practical you leave you and you resume being your self instead of you being what you really are in all of your self. Everything that you make practical, all of your doing in all of your self and all of your life is going to end. You’re going to die.
Be what you are after you’ve died, while you live, instead of being consumed with all of the practical and all of your doing, and then let being do. But don’t be quick to get there. Be slow to get there because it isn’t the doing that matters; it’s the being that matters. What you do in all of your self and in all of your life matters so little. What matters much is that you are a being in whatever you do; that you are quieted, gentled in your heart, regardless of what you do.
Your self is genetic. Your self is actual but it isn’t real. You are real, but not actual yet. You become actual by being the real in the midst of all of your genetic self. This is all most delicate. It isn’t practical: it’s real. What you are in, in this whole connection, is real. I’m not addressing your self or your life. I’m not addressing anything practical. I’m addressing you.
Q: I feel this you is like we are both there, like we are one, there.
John: Let your whole life turn on this point. This you were born for but didn’t understand, so you filled your life with everything but this. This is the door to the real. The door to the real isn’t in your self, it is not in your mind, it is not in your life. The door to the real is in you. If you’re looking elsewhere you’ll miss it. If you’re quick to make it practical you’ll miss it. I’m being you to you and with you. I’m bringing you back to you. This is what it’s like for you to be you.
Being you is nurturefully uneventful. Being you is not about your life, it’s not about your self. This is you, a being. It is of supreme importance for you to move as a being in your self, regardless of what you do with your self and regardless of what you do with your life. It is such little importance what you do with your self, and what you do with your life. It is of supreme importance that you move as what you are in, in this; that you move as a being in your self. That’s primary. This is primary.
Everything about your self and your life is secondary to this. This brings you right into what you are after you have died, filling your self now, and filling your life. It’s all from the inside out. It’s all, from within, you and outwards. Now you know and now you see. This is your life. Your outer life is no longer your life. This is your life, and it is to fill your outer life. You, no longer using your outer life and your self efforting to fill you.
There is so much for you to come into in this, in this your real life. In all of this that is opening in you, it has started. It continues as you live this, as you be this in your self, in your life, regardless of your self and regardless of your life. So this is central in all your self, in all your life.
You are, in this, no longer about your self and about your life. You are a being, first. You are not a person, first. You are a being in person. It’s delicate. Now live.
Bye for now.
Q: Thank you John.