505 – Awakening to the More of You
Having been raised in a male environment, this person longs for more of the feminine qualities he’s now coming to know. As he speaks with John, it becomes clear that a shift in his relating is all that’s required.
John de Ruiter Podcast 466
John de Ruiter Podcast 466
Parent Your Child, Parent Your Self
When: April 27, 2012 @ 2:00pm
Where: Lage Vuursche, The Netherlands
Topics: Introductory, Parenting
This mother’s wish to protect her baby son’s purity from the world reveals what it takes to be the best kind of parent she can be, and how this establishes the foundation her child will need as he grows.
“If (your child) sees that you are parenting your self as much as you are parenting his, he will love the parenting that comes from your heart.”
- Parent Your Child, Parent Your Self 00:00
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Podcast Transcript
Parent Your Child, Parent Your Self
Q: First, I would like to thank you for the talk we had in September last. You helped me very much with telling me not to worry about my son; just to be there for him. He was born a couple of days after your last meeting, and we had to stay in hospital for more than six weeks. I never worried about him because I was so convinced that he knew already what was going on. He was so strong. He handles everything: the problem with his kidneys, being in the hospital and being operated on several times already. It’s my worry that I’m doing something wrong. I want to keep him the way he is – so pure. I really want to protect him from the world.
John: Your self. Protect your son from your self.
If you are taking seriously only what you know the truth of in your heart while you are in your self and with him, then through example he is protected from your self and his, and his self, through example, will grow and develop just as your self does. You’ll be parenting your self and his self from within what you are knowing the truth of in your heart.
Q: I think in my heart, deep in my heart I know I’m doing it right, but there’s an upper layer that makes me confused.
John: Don’t take that to heart and you’ll be making it easy for your son to also not take the same thing to heart. If you’re worrying that you’re doing the wrong thing, you’re doing the wrong thing. If you’re worrying that you’re doing the wrong thing, you’re believing your self. You’re believing the impressions in your self, and you’ll be teaching your son to believe those same impressions.
Give him what you know the truth of in your heart through example in your self while it’s still easy with him. You’ll be growing, in this way, with him. While difficulty slowly comes in, teach him this way and when he’s grown up he’ll know his way. His real foundation needs to be put together before all of his difficulty comes.
For you to be sure of it coming together in him, it needs to come to him from you. He will read your heart and he will read your self. Because your self has more form than your heart, he will naturally try to be just like your self. If he sees that you are parenting your self as much as you are parenting his, he will love the parenting that comes from your heart – your being what you know the truth of in your heart.
Q: The self you’re talking about is no good? Is that correct?
John: Incorrect. Your relationship to your self isn’t good. Your self is good. Your self is innocent. Change your relationship with your self and your self will change. Your self naturally becomes what you are being in it. Your son will naturally become what you are being with him.
As he comes into his own power, which will be coming soon, he will need to feel your power. He will need to feel the clarity and the certainty of your power, your power governed by what you know the truth of in your heart. If he doesn’t feel that and experience that, he won’t know what to do, in his experience, with all of the new power that he’ll be coming into. He’ll be out of control with his own power. If he feels your power containing his power from within what you know the truth of in your heart, he’ll be experiencing from you what power is for and what power isn’t for, making him feel safe within his experience of his own power.
When he’s feeling your power while he is experiencing his own power, you can neither be hard on him nor soft on him. Your tendency will be that when you experience the pressure of his power being used in him, that pressure will have you feeling emotional and you’ll be hard on him. If you’re relating to being heart-felt, you will be soft on him. If you are relating only to what you know the truth of in your heart, you will be direct and clear. He’ll know your certainty concerning himself and he’ll know your beingness. He’ll need to experience both from you.
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501 – Parenting with Clarity: How to Say ‘No’ to Your Child
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500 – The Way of Love: Giving Permission for Deep, Inner Change
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