Q: I’m kind of struggling dealing with some health problems since some years. Things shift and change but still there’s something stuck, some stomach problems. It’s kind of self destructive and I wonder whether you can tell me something about it.

John: It won’t be there anymore when you die, but you will still be, after you’ve died.

Q: My personality dying?

John: Your body and everything else that’s not integrated. That makes your stomach the least of your concerns. It affects you in your experience of your body.

What matters more than that are the deeper levels of your body. What you are in your body takes you a lot deeper within than how you experience your body. The best you can do for your stomach is to come from a level within that is deeper than your experience of your stomach.

Q: How can I get there? Is there anything I can do or be more?

John: You know that there’s more. Relate to your own knowing, within, that there’s more. Relate to the more; relate directly to your knowing the more. You don’t need to understand the more before you relate to it. Relating to it is what gives you the understanding of it. The relating comes first. That has you relating to knowing within, giving you perspective within what you experience of your body or of your self. Your perspective doesn’t then come from what you experience.

When your perspective is limited to what you experience, then you are limited to your self. You are a lot more than what your self is. You are much more than what you experience your body to be. When you’re relating directly to that more, the levels of your body open.

What you are needs to have mobility in your body. When you believe your experience and when you’re confined to your experience, you lose that mobility. Then you are because your self is and because your body is.

Q: What do you mean by mobility?

John: Movement in your body. You’re able to have movement within the unseen levels, and all of that movement taking place within your body, giving you movement within the levels of your body. You’re not confined then to your experience of your body. That opens what you are in a way that is much deeper than how you have known your body.

When you have movement within the deeper levels, levels unseen by you in your experience, then you are getting to know you and what you are. It’s your movement in the deeper levels, within, that has you knowing you. When you are confined to your experience, you get to know only your experience of your self. That’s the smallest part of your self. The best levels of your self are not within your experience, yet. The levels, within, that are deeper than what your self is are not within your experience yet. That doesn’t come into your experience until you as awareness are relating directly to your knowing that there’s more, within…more than what your experience is, more than what your understanding is.

Concerning the deep, within, when you relate to your self, you fear. When you relate to your knowing the more within, you don’t fear; you respond. When you’re relating to your knowing of the more, you love the more. The more is your home. Your self isn’t your home. When you make your self your home, you fear because you are leaving out the best parts of you. Without the best parts of you in awareness, you fear. With the best parts of you coming into awareness, you don’t relate to fear. You love responding, within.

You’re conditioned in your self to check before you respond, to look before you step. When that’s how you relate to the more within, you’re confined to your self. You use your self to check something that doesn’t originate from your self. You don’t need to use your self to check what you know.

When you know the truth of something within, you need only to respond to what you’re knowing. As soon as you’re responding as awareness directly to knowing, you are within your self free of your self. When it comes to knowing, you don’t need to check before you step. You step because you know. That has you, as awareness, loving knowing and loving moving in what knowing is. It frees you into the more, within.

You don’t need your self for you to be the more, within. You need your self for you to express being the more, within.

Q: What makes it so difficult for us to access that knowing, within?

John: It doesn’t appeal to the holding you have in your self. Knowing appeals directly to you. You don’t even need your self for you to respond to what knowing is.

You have given value to what you are able to hold onto. That immediately takes you out of the value that you have when you’re responding to knowing, within. Knowing within meets you; holding within doesn’t meet you. You don’t love holding within…at all. But when you respond directly to knowing within, you love knowing. When you are in what knowing is, that moves your being. That has you loving knowing and loving its beingness.

You don’t need your self for any of that, and you have your self to express all of that. You have your self for you to express all of the unseen wonders, within. You easily see such expression in a baby. When a baby looks at you and looks into you, you know that you are known. You value being known more than you value knowing your self. Knowing your self, in comparison, gives you little. When you are known, that takes you directly into the meaning of what knowing is. In a baby such meaning is active.

A baby isn’t using its self to know you. A baby sees you and knows you. A baby doesn’t become experienced at that. When a baby does become experienced at that, then a baby is using what knowing is to play with you, and when it’s not playing with you, then it returns to simply seeing you and knowing you.

When you’re responding, you’re having; when you’re checking, you’re not having. When you are having, you love; when you are not having, you fear. You respond and then you check. You have and then you don’t have. You love and then you fear. You are free to respond, to have, and to love. As you do, your body changes because the levels of your body are opening. The levels of your body opening means more to you than living.

You need to love and you’re not going to love if you’re not responding directly to knowing. Love is the result of knowing. Love is the movement of you directly knowing. Love is the beingness of real knowledge. Love is the result of you being what you are, what you really are.

As soon as you’re checking, you can’t see. As soon as you’re knowing and you respond to knowing, that has you looking. When you are looking from within knowing, you see…and you like seeing. When you were really little you saw so much; your living was full of seeing. It’s because of your seeing that you loved living. You’re not really living if you’re not really seeing. You’re not really seeing if you’re not really knowing.

Q: How come we shut that seeing and knowing down?

John: Because you’re able to shut it down. You’re able to leave it and come back to it later, but when you leave it, you don’t easily come back to it later. And when you wait longer, it grows distant. And then you try to use your self to have what you’ve lost. That gives you more of your self. It isn’t your self that you really love. It’s knowing and seeing that you really love. Return to that and you’re home. Use your self to check it out first and you can’t be home.

For you, what I am is like seasoned essence of baby…knowing you, seeing you and talking to you; making little of your self and much of you. Despite your self, you respond; and then, because of your self, you fear.

When you are being known, it is for longer than how long you’ve lived. When you are being known, that bypasses how long you have lived, putting you into a different level of time, a level of time that doesn’t wear on you, a level of time that answers you.

Q: If I let myself totally fall into beingness and knowing, a fear came up: Could I still function in this reality?

John: It won’t matter to you. You’ll be rich with love, functioning or not. You’ll function all changed. When you die, your real opportunity to be all of this while in a body is gone. This is what you are in your body for.