469 – From Fear to Love: An Honest Look at Dying
A heart problem has escalated into an ongoing fear of death for the man in this dialogue. John shows what the fear is really about and how to be free of it.
Q: I have issues with jealousy, and I don’t know what to do with this. It’s like a monster that comes to my home and I want help, because it’s not nice.
John: That’s good.
Q: What’s good?
John: That it’s not nice.
Q: I don’t have anything to do with this, not opening, not softening – nothing.
John: If nothing works that means you are incorrect in what you use, or you really are using what’s correct but you’re not genuine in it. So it’s either a lack of genuineness or you’re just simply using the wrong thing. If you open and soften, but for a result, then what you are using is correct but what is using it isn’t correct, so it creates a strange mix.
Q: So how can I find the right?
John: When you mentioned opening and softening that’s it, but then it’s opening and softening not for any kind of return, and not so that you can return to something that you’re used to, that’s made better for you. Not for any results: the openness and the softness, but for the sake of the openness and the softness.
If it doesn’t work what that tells you is that what you’re doing or what you’re being isn’t to correct code. It isn’t to the code of what you really are. When what you are being and what you are doing is to code, the code of what you really are, it works. It works because that really is you. When you have a combination lock and you try different codes and the lock just doesn’t open, that doesn’t mean that the lock just doesn’t work.
Q: Where’s my code!?
John: You being like this within, open and soften, but all the way through. And it doesn’t stop for anything in your self, not for anything in your life.
Q: But you know what happened when I do this? I got sick.
John: What do you mean you got sick?
Q: That I got sick, I have a cough. I don’t want to be jealous, but I have a relationship with jealousy.
John: Let openness and softness, instead of you going into some of it, let openness and softness of heart take you. If it makes you sick you don’t stop. If it makes your whole life wonderful you don’t stop.
It takes you, you let it take you, as far within as that may go, regardless of results or lack of results; regardless of positive things happening or negative things happening. That’s a fundamental shift.
A root of jealousy deeply grown into your self will not survive you taken by openness and softness of heart. The root will die and you will feel all of its dying.
Q: So when the jealousy comes I need only to open? To be okay with this?
John: It’s not about the jealousy. When jealousy shows up, that’s your cue.
Q: About what?
John: To unconditionally open and soften at any personal expense in the whole of your life. When jealousy strikes you that’s not the time to let go of jealousy: that reminds you to let go of everything.
Q: Difficult.
John: Costly. It will cost you everything that you’re holding onto. All of that let go and you are without holding. That’s a fundamental shift.
Q: How to let it go?
John: Not a little bit: all of it. The ‘how’ is all of it. When you let go of some of the holding that’s really complicated. Letting go of all of the holding, that’s simple. You don’t need to pick and choose: it’s not this one or that one. All of them. So deeply that you are no longer in relationship with holding. The holding in you is over regardless of anything that happens in your life, anything that happens to your self. Nothing makes you hold anymore. That’s you, fundamentally different.
With that kind of you, in your self, jealousy – the whole root of jealousy in your self – can’t survive.
469 – From Fear to Love: An Honest Look at Dying
A heart problem has escalated into an ongoing fear of death for the man in this dialogue. John shows what the fear is really about and how to be free of it.
468 – Love: An Eternal Quality of You
Love. An eternal quality most of us have wondered about, longed for, wanted to be filled with. John describes what it is and isn’t, and how we naturally return to it every day without even realizing.
467 – Abiding in What is New: No Longer Relating to Old Ways
A deeper shift within has left this person feeling empty and confused in her life and relationships. John explains why it feels this way and what will support full integration.
466 – Parent Your Child, Parent Your Self
This mother’s wish to protect her baby son’s purity from the world reveals what it takes to be the best kind of parent she can be, and how this establishes the foundation her child will need as he grows.
465 – Beyond the Witness: Returning to Being
Are you ready to be your deeper truth? The person in this dialogue felt there were things he needed to do first, and now feels the pain of having made that choice. He and John explore what got in the way and how to move forward.
463 – A Tiny Touch of Awakening is Enough
A tiny touch of awakening has landed in this person, but she’s afraid it will never grow. Through the metaphor of caring for a little fruit tree, John shares the shift of attention needed for the tree to flourish, no matter what.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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