Q: You told me to use pain to open the door. All the difficulty that I have in my life has helped me to open a lot of doors and I want to open more and more doors. My question is why do I need a difficulty? In my experience the harder it gets, the more I get to be open and go deeper. I know the real value of that, but I also want to know if there is another way?
John: To have a self that isn’t yet like your being is to be in difficulty, and to be in a world that isn’t like your being is to be in difficulty.
Q: So until there is full integration of the self, difficulty is what is going to push me forward?
John: Your openness pulls you in. Your openness moves you forward. Any difficulty you come into, regardless of its nature, is all fuel for your openness.
Q: I know that. I’m asking if there is another kind of fuel.
John: Yes: your sexuality, your openness within all of your sexuality; you unconditionally freeing all of your sexuality in all of your body in all of your self and connecting your sexuality through your heart directly to your being. As you do, when your sexuality moves in your body and in your self, your being moves, and when your being moves, your sexuality moves. Through your openness, your sexuality is your greatest propellant into your being.
Q: I can feel it moving. I’m not sure if I can do it by myself, or how to move it in this way.
John: By unconditionally opening to it. By you being yes to your sexuality through your heart to move in any possible way in your body and in your self without you putting a restriction to it; without you putting a lid on it when you begin to recognize its power. It belongs to your being. Keep it safe from your self and you separate it from your being.
You don’t need to keep it safe from your self. You let it move in all of your self, given through your heart to your being.
Q: So what happens when I give it to my being?
John: It will be loosed in all of its power. Your being will thrive in it. Your sexuality is made for your being.
Q: And my heart stays open in order for that to happen, right?
John: Yes.
Q: What if my heart closes for some reason and it stops? It seems to me it has to be constant all the time, but since I’m not fully integrated yet…
John: You don’t need to be. It doesn’t matter at all the condition of your self. It doesn’t matter what past you have. It doesn’t matter what genetics you have. All that matters is what you really are, freed. Nothing prevents you from opening without return.
Forms of illusion that you have inherited, that are in your genetics, manifested in your self, are your fuel.
Q: How can an illusion be my fuel?
John: Not an illusion but their forms, such as your patterning. Forms that are not like your being are your fuel.
Q: Can you explain how is my patterning a fuel?
John: When you open within a pattern, instead of being that pattern, your pattern opens and turns to fuel. With your sexuality reconnected through your heart to your being, your sexuality will burn any fuel that you give it. Anything that you are in, in your self, your sexuality, connected to your being, processes perfectly.
Instead of using your self to process difficulty, release the difficulty directly into your sexuality. Your being-sexuality will consume it in a way that bypasses all of your understanding thereby transmuting your self, turning your self into something other that moves just like your being.
475 – Warmly Okay Within: From Personal Pain to the Joy of Being
“While you’re in a body there isn’t an end to pain…” John explains why this is so, and shares the magical power in our own deeper levels that can transform the experience of pain to happiness and joy.
474 – A Self of Love, A Self of Meaning, A Self of Change
The thoughts and feelings generated in a busy daily life easily eclipse what’s deeply known within the heart. What needs to change for that deep connection to be sustained in the midst of life?
473 – What Makes an Ego Lovely?
John’s description of the potential of the ego sounds very different from the way we usually think of it, and reveals its true place in the whole of us.
472 – Losing a Loved One: Delicate Connectivity in the Midst of Pain
A tender conversation on heartbreak, loss, and the ever-present availability of an unbroken, deeper-level connection.
471 – The Most Important Turning Point of Your Life
A demanding job that includes problem-solving and decision-making … and a new touch of love for something deeper. How is this going to change my life? John’s response makes clear that this turning point is the beginning of a real, new life.
470 – Opening to Deeper Knowledge: Sincerity Leads the Way
Though he can’t understand what he is experiencing, the young man in this dialogue has the sense that he is onto something deeper within. We learn how it’s sincerity that opens the beyond, within, and that no understanding is needed.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
