Q: You told me to use pain to open the door. All the difficulty that I have in my life has helped me to open a lot of doors and I want to open more and more doors. My question is why do I need a difficulty? In my experience the harder it gets, the more I get to be open and go deeper. I know the real value of that, but I also want to know if there is another way?
John: To have a self that isn’t yet like your being is to be in difficulty, and to be in a world that isn’t like your being is to be in difficulty.
Q: So until there is full integration of the self, difficulty is what is going to push me forward?
John: Your openness pulls you in. Your openness moves you forward. Any difficulty you come into, regardless of its nature, is all fuel for your openness.
Q: I know that. I’m asking if there is another kind of fuel.
John: Yes: your sexuality, your openness within all of your sexuality; you unconditionally freeing all of your sexuality in all of your body in all of your self and connecting your sexuality through your heart directly to your being. As you do, when your sexuality moves in your body and in your self, your being moves, and when your being moves, your sexuality moves. Through your openness, your sexuality is your greatest propellant into your being.
Q: I can feel it moving. I’m not sure if I can do it by myself, or how to move it in this way.
John: By unconditionally opening to it. By you being yes to your sexuality through your heart to move in any possible way in your body and in your self without you putting a restriction to it; without you putting a lid on it when you begin to recognize its power. It belongs to your being. Keep it safe from your self and you separate it from your being.
You don’t need to keep it safe from your self. You let it move in all of your self, given through your heart to your being.
Q: So what happens when I give it to my being?
John: It will be loosed in all of its power. Your being will thrive in it. Your sexuality is made for your being.
Q: And my heart stays open in order for that to happen, right?
Q: What if my heart closes for some reason and it stops? It seems to me it has to be constant all the time, but since I’m not fully integrated yet…
John: You don’t need to be. It doesn’t matter at all the condition of your self. It doesn’t matter what past you have. It doesn’t matter what genetics you have. All that matters is what you really are, freed. Nothing prevents you from opening without return.
Forms of illusion that you have inherited, that are in your genetics, manifested in your self, are your fuel.
Q: How can an illusion be my fuel?
John: Not an illusion but their forms, such as your patterning. Forms that are not like your being are your fuel.
Q: Can you explain how is my patterning a fuel?
John: When you open within a pattern, instead of being that pattern, your pattern opens and turns to fuel. With your sexuality reconnected through your heart to your being, your sexuality will burn any fuel that you give it. Anything that you are in, in your self, your sexuality, connected to your being, processes perfectly.
Instead of using your self to process difficulty, release the difficulty directly into your sexuality. Your being-sexuality will consume it in a way that bypasses all of your understanding thereby transmuting your self, turning your self into something other that moves just like your being.