596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
Q: There’s this subtly powerful fountain of energy moving through my spine to the crown and gently flowing in every direction. Since I met you, there’s these states I’m going into resembling what it is like now, almost perceiving the pixels, the space between the cells, seeing the emptiness in the fullness. I wondered what the states are connected to, or what they represent? I seem to experience them more and more frequently.
John: These different states are manifestations in your self that come from what you’re being in what’s deeper than your self. They’re like forms of being, on the level of your self. These states are like fruit on a tree. They are goodness forms that you don’t need.
Q: Just don’t pay attention to it?
John: Read what you know in them. In the same way, read what you know in the midst of anything. A state is just a more powerful reflection of what you’re being that is deeper.
Q: Why did the being come to experience all these forms?
John: Being, given a body, given any level of form, given a self, a personality and a life fills all of it unless you are, as awareness, being separate from what you really are. Where you’re not being separate, you naturally move as a being.
Q: Do people who want to die and do not want to continue living, does it mean that they are separated from the being?
John: Yes. If you’re not being separate, what you really are thrives in the midst of anything – in any body, any self, and any kind of life.
Q: What is the deeper purpose of this? Why are we here to thrive in the midst of all of that?
John: To evolve as awareness.
Q: Isn’t awareness already evolved?
John: Not much.
Q: So what you’re saying is that there is this evolutionary movement happening.
John: If we are, as awareness, being what we really are: yes.
Q: Is it only concerning human beings on this planet?
John: The more that we evolve, the more that everything else can evolve.
Q: You mean human beings?
John: Yes.
Q: So, the evolution of everything is linked to evolution of our awareness.
John: Yes.
Q: That’s a huge responsibility!
John: We are the power-holders. We have the power. We have the most power to be what we really are, or to separate from it. We have the largest spectrum of awareness.
The evolution of everything is based on response. The more that we respond to being what we really are, the more that everything else responds.
Q: We are in power of our evolutionary potential as consciousness? All of us?
John: Yes.
Q: The country where I’m coming from is at war at the moment, and people are very violent towards each other. I’ve been asked to help the people there who are surviving on little food and resources and in conditions that are life-threatening every day. There are many suicides and drug abuse and a lot of fear. I don’t know how to support them in the right way.
John: By deeply not needing to survive. By deeply not needing to help. By deeply not having need of anything. Then you see – not seeing through the lens of your self – just you, seeing.
When you see without the use of your self, others begin to see. Instead of changing anything so that we can see, we are able to see; a level of seeing that isn’t dependent on anything changing first.
Q: That’s quite clear for me. Yet I feel like I’ll be stoned for this kind of perspective!
John: That’s fine. Then you die seeing. We don’t need to survive. We need to see. We don’t need to live well and prosper. We don’t need a good life. We don’t need anything that we think we need. Anything that we have without really seeing keeps us blind. If we could bring about world peace but without seeing, we would be blinded by what we think we have.
Q: So this whole movie of illusions is just for the evolutionary purpose?
John: Without seeing, there’s no evolution. To not really see is the result of not being what we really are. We cannot evolve as awareness without being what we really are.
Q: Is there a way we can help each other evolve?
John: By being in your heart unconditionally, at any personal cost, and that no one else needs to do the same. Essentially, we are all the same. The differences that we experience are not real. The differences that we experience are on account of what isn’t yet integrated in our selves.
Q: Why did this disintegration take place in the first place?
John: We come into these forms by way of inheritance. We come into what our ancestors both dealt with of what they knew and didn’t deal with of what they knew. All of our seen forms, our bodies, our selves, our personalities are genetics until we’ve integrated them, and we can’t integrate them without being the same as our being in the midst of all of our genetics, without being those genetics.
Q: Where do these genetics come from?
John: Your parents and their parents.
Q: If we are all one, there must be some root to this disintegration that started somewhere.
John: It doesn’t matter where that started. What matters is that as you come into a body, as you come into these genetic forms, none of it prevents you from being what you really are in them. None of it prevents you from being in your heart.
Q: How did this disintegration occur in the first place, and why? Is it something we chose? Is it something we didn’t choose?
John: All of the distraction, the energy of distraction, belongs to opportunity: not an opportunity for our selves but opportunity for what we really are, opportunity that only pure awareness can fill. Awareness, in the midst of any genetics, circumstance or life, purifies as it relaxes. Pure awareness isn’t attainable. You can’t acquire it through the use of your self. You do come into it as you, awareness, relax.
Q: The self and the other parts of our selves are there to taste that?
John: They are your seen forms. They’re like energy fields, but extremely dense, that turn into what you are being in them. Whatever you are being in them they become. That’s an enormous amount of power that we have. Given these seen forms, we can embody anything that we are being, for better or for worse. We can embody conditioned selves, conditioned personalities, or we can embody in these seen forms and with them what we are as a being, but only by being that. What we all know is that awareness opening opens everything. It opens our bodies, our selves, our personalities, our lives.
Q: How is it that we can go about keeping it open at all times?
John: At any personal cost. Unconditionally, at any personal cost.
Q: So you mean we’re in control of that?
John: Yes.
Q: Because sometimes I feel like it just slips away. I don’t even notice and then I just see that it’s closed.
John: When you give your power to anything other than what you really are, you move form. The experience of that on a heart level is closing. Anything that you seem to gain in closing makes you doubly blind. On that level, war and peace are the same: both come from a polarized view of existence.
When we are being what we really are, we no longer relate to war or peace; we no longer need either. If we are being what we really are, either one helps us. Everything helps us.
Q: This deeply resonates, and at the same time I notice a bit of a tension in my heart.
John: It means that your nervous system works. Your nervous system won’t tell you the truth. Your self won’t tell you the truth; you do, but not without being what you really are. It’s that beingness that is the first truth you know. The more that you’re being that, the more that you’ll directly know.
Q: Knowing is there now and yet I’m afraid that I may be telling my self a lie.
John: Believe what you think and what you feel concerning the truth of anything that’s deeper than your self and you fool your self. You lie to your self by making your self more important than what you quietly know the truth of in your heart.
This planet in all of its life, if it could speak, it wouldn’t ask to be saved. It wouldn’t ask for us to change. If it could speak, it would ask for us to see. Everything is dependent on us seeing.
Q: There is nothing to do or to change, just to see.
John: And then to live, seeing. When we see, everything else gets to see. When the power-holders see, everything else will see and their powers will all open.
Q: If I understand right, there is absolutely no condition for seeing.
John: Not on the level of our selves; all on the level of what we really are.
Q: But there is a condition somewhere?
John: That of oneness, yes: oneness been and lived, which means that everything else can live, opened.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
595 – When a Crumb of Truth in Your Heart is Your Home
John responds to a spiritual dilemma: a desperate longing for realization, coupled with the fear of nothingness that seems to come with it.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
592 – Beyond Self-Acceptance: The Way of Deep, Inner Healing
An experience of misplaced anger has raised the question of what real healing is. John takes us beyond simple self-acceptance, deep into the source of the finest healing of all.
591 – The Truth About Compassion
When is compassion self-centred, when is it real, and how can we tell? An exploration of what it means to be truly compassionate.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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