603 – Your Deepest, Most Delicate Belonging
The sense of entering the second half of life is sharpening this person’s focus on what matters most, and raising some fundamental questions.
Q: I’m living in a small cabin. Now when I walk in the door I feel like I’m contained, I need to spread out. I feel like I’ve got such movement, it wants to spread and it feels like I’m stuck or something.
John: It isn’t your house; it’s your self and your life. Release your self perspective and your life perspective that you’ve lived by so far. The deep that’s opening in you will take its place. A shift in perspective makes a different story.
Q: When you mentioned about “just know that you have five minutes left”, how that would shift the perspective, I did that. I was having some anxiety, and right away I could use that shift of perspective and that upwell of anxiety wasn’t there anymore. But it seems sometimes inhuman now.
John: Why do you say “inhuman?”
Q: Generally in this dimension there is some comfort, some family, there’s something, there’s some connection.
John: That’s a patterned way of connecting.
Q: Yeah but I’m still a human.
John: Humanness is beingness flowing in the self, manifesting in the self. Humanness is dearness. Instead of a conditioned patterned dearness, just unpackaged dearness moving toward everything, everyone. No longer confining dearness to your idea of things.
Q: After my connection with you I was watching, it looked like some kind of design was showing up on your forehead. It felt like there was a code being put on my forehead.
John: Code of different beingness, original depth, a whole different life.
Q: I guess what I’m trying to see is this relation to the actual versus the real. The only interest I have is galactically going out, just beyond. Seems like I’ve achieved what I came here for. It seems like it’s been done and now this thrust is such pressure.
John: It moves from your innermost outwards. It is from way further out or way further in, way further back than anything galactic. It’s arising from within your innermost and it’s creating pressure in your self. As you shift in a way that frees your self of everything that it’s been before, your self shifts, the pressure’s gone, your self changes, and with that your life.
Q: I wish I was in a community where these things could be shared more.
John: Instead of wishing, do, and then do what needs being done.
Q: I know the new territory to walk through now and I want to walk through this new territory. I want to be part of this movement.
John: Be released of all of your plans, all of your ways in your self and in your life, and you’ll see.
Q: Already vibrating internally, new way, new sensation. Something is really happening although I don’t know what it is.
John: Let the depth, the quality, the frequency of this take over. Let this infiltrate your self and your life.
Q: Beyond the galactic is absolutely new for me.
John: Beyond, before, all of existence. Beyond and before the universe. You’re invited into what is before it all, what made it all.
Q: When I went into the black and I was so surrendered to this other, it was exquisite. My whole body was involved. I would give everything to this and I hit the black, absorbed. My next awareness was being out, more like a little spark, and I started wondering whether hitting the black like that, is that like a reset or something?
John: Yes.
Q: Because I went in as a beam of golden light, but so aware. I was still me, but…
John: Still you, but a whole different level of you, and you, no longer because of your self and your life, but you by what you’re coming into that is before everything. A different level of you is, to your awareness, a different you.
Q: So the black is where we all originate from? Sometimes I wonder if we go past that.
John: Yes. The black is what you come here through. When you come into your body you come in through the black. When you come in through the black all information is erased. When you come in, coming in through the black, you are you but without everything that you were in. With your return it is also returning through the black. You can’t get through it without letting it remove from you all that has mattered to you in your self and in your life. It removes all of the information that sticks to you, so there’s really, again, just you. Without that cleaning, that erasing, you can’t enter what you have actually come from.
Q: So we really only have to be in the black one time then. It doesn’t have to be repeated does it?
John: There are levels of the black.
For you, awareness, to transition from being a human kind of being to a celestial kind of being you will need to go through the black, which cleans you of all that is incompatible of your life and your self – incompatible with a celestial kind of being.
As you continue, you can transition from the celestial to the ancient. Both are before all of existence and the universe. And you’ll go through the black again, in transitioning from the ancient to what is purely spirit. In that transition you are cleaned of the celestial and the ancient.
From spirit you’ll go through the black again, where you are cleaned of not only spirit, but all of how spirit moves in the ancient, in the celestial, in all beingness.
Q: This wanting to be of service. It doesn’t leave me.
John: You don’t want it to leave you; you want to have it. It’s a part of your self. The deeper your return to what you’ve come from, the more that you are removed of everything. First, everything that is actual but not real, then reinstated in the real, and then being without all that is real. As you come into this you don’t get to be of service.
Q: It’s a small holding spot.
John: It’s a story in your self. You don’t get to keep your stories.
Q: This is no small journey.
John: You’ve already done it once in coming here. You were born to be, here, what you have come from, and to journey back consciously to what you’ve come from, before you die. Nothing is in the way. Anything that you think you have come into, that you want to keep in a self-created manner, that is in your way. With that sticking to you through the subconscious and beneath that unconscious, beliefs, you won’t be able to make the return while you live.
You’re here to be what you were before your body in all of your body and in this genetic self that you’ve come into, in all of your life, manifesting what you were before your body, and then to make your return, consciously, all realized, actualized, before you die.
Q: I don’t feel like I’m participating in any of this – just breathing.
John: You don’t get to participate in the return. You get to be absorbed by what your self, your genetics, your mind, your life, don’t know about. Only you may know, and only you may enter.
Q: You told me once it’s maybe not a good time to get a dog, I don’t have too many distractions. This is the way forward?
John: After you’ve transitioned, get a dog. But don’t get a dog when you’re transitioning. If at all possible, if at all possible, live amongst others who you know have transitioned or are transitioning.
Q: Yeah, but where are they? It’s a rare breed. I want to be living in an area on the ground, not visiting, not sitting in a classroom. Living in this environment with others.
John: Yes. You don’t get to keep all of the things you can’t do anymore. You don’t get to keep anything. You’re not entitled to anything except what you really are, which brings you into what you come from.
If you know someone who has moved through all of this, do all you can to live as close as you can to that one.
603 – Your Deepest, Most Delicate Belonging
The sense of entering the second half of life is sharpening this person’s focus on what matters most, and raising some fundamental questions.
602 – Honest to the Core: Oneness in the Midst of Separation
A deep dive into the power of profound honesty to make oneness as reachable as going to sleep – without actually falling asleep.
601 – Don’t Go Figure, Go Sweetly Within
Sometimes, figuring things out doesn’t work in the way we expect. Dissolving core patterns is one example of this, and John explains why.
598 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 2)
This dialogue is a continuation of last week’s podcast 597. John speaks about what ego is, the power we have to create mystery to conceal what is clear, and what takes us deeper than personal integrity.
597 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 1)
Person, self, being … what’s the difference and what is real? Using different analogies, John explains how our different levels connect and shares the code to being what we really are.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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