Q: I’ve had some news about my son, and I wanted to ask you how I could support him in what he is actually going through. I’ve been doing all the practical things but it seems to me like such an invitation, and he’s quite scared and I know he’s going through so much – not just physically but emotionally – and I’m so far away. And today he called me and later I experienced this sort of missing, like he was missing me. In a way I’ve never experienced anything like it. It was so heart-breaking.

John: Your deeper womanness has more real reach than the motherly responses that you’re accustomed to. Your motherly response is to rush in. Your response from within your deeper womanness doesn’t rush in; it reaches directly, finds him, not where he’s looking from, which directs his heart awareness to where it belongs: it centres him.

When you move from within what is usual for you, you teach him to do the same, to move in what is usual for him. You come from within what is unusual for you and you invite him to see from the same level in him. That takes him out of his emotional thinking and introduces him to a depth of feeling that isn’t anchored in what he’s experiencing in himself; a depth of feeling that is in his heart, anchored in a beingness that he’s not accustomed to.

He doesn’t need what he’s looking for. He needs what answers him. There’s more to him than what his self and his life consist of. This new circumstance that he’s in addresses that. He doesn’t need the help that he thinks he needs and he doesn’t need the help that you feel he needs. He needs to know more and see more.

It’s that deeper knowing and the deeper seeing from within his heart that he needs, and you’re able to give that to him by coming from that in you. When you are profoundly different, he knows more and sees more. This isn’t about his survival. This is about his heart. You’re able to be more than what he’s used to in you. He wants to have the love that he’s used to from you.

Q: Do you mean, like, taking care of him?

John: And your way of taking care of him. When you are being what you are used to, that tells him to remain in what he’s used to. When you come from your deeper womanness, he will have from you a love that is unusual. The real and the unusual invites knowing in him and seeing that is beyond his self and what he’s used to, putting him into a deeper level, a deeper level than what has made his experience. You respond to the deep and the unusual. Live that to him. He doesn’t need the help that he doesn’t need. He needs what he hasn’t realized yet. You come from that and he’ll see. He’s at a critical point. Answer him by you being at yours.

Q: Can you tell me more about this critical point?

John: That point in you left behind, which is all old. It has its goodness and it’s old. And there is that point in you to which you are able to be all new. You can’t use your past or your self for you to be in that. In this you can’t rely on your experience. Your experience gives you what you’ve had before. It doesn’t give you what you know is new. You belonging to what you know is new puts you into the new.

In the new, you are love without a face. Love’s face forms when you are being that deeper love in the midst of your self: ways of deeper love not learned in your self, levels of love unknown to your self – known by you and not yet experienced.

This is what you came here for.

Q: This reminds me of when you spoke about the future self. Is that what you mean by the new?

John: Yes. You have direct knowledge of it and you have no experience in it.

Q: So do I just keep relating to what I know in that? Because I do know it. I know that.

John: You relating to it makes it real. What you relate to, you come from.

Q: It really is so beautiful. You once told me that it would be beautiful, but I thought the cost was too high.

John: Beauty comes before cost. The shift of your relating brings your true future into the present. You’re not going to be the kind of mother and the kind of wife that you’ve been used to. Awareness espoused to direct knowledge, made real in your heart and lived in your self.

Your way is to love like you have never loved before. It will be the death of the self that you’ve been used to. You will make a new one.

Q: It’s so beautiful. Thank you.