From Human Being to Celestial Being
Expansion into other realms opens a tender, divine level of humanness and the deep, inner purpose of being in this life. John describes how this extraordinary development brings with it the integration of masculine and feminine energies, sexuality of a celestial kind, and the power to move as a celestial being.
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With John de Ruiter from the February 8 Interactive Live Streams on Zoom
John: We come into bodies, male and female, not because that’s what we are but to integrate the movement in form of masculine and feminine. It’s already complex enough to be in a female body or a male body. The complexity is so much greater because of coming into selves. The environment, our environment here on the planet is so polarized that it’s enough to start our in integration either male or female, but as we come into the being the surface levels of the being are feminine, for everyone, and the deeper levels of the being are masculine, for everyone; the initial levels of the being being feminine, because there isn’t an orientation of power in the feminine. So the entrance to the being comes by relinquishing the individualized sense of personal power, so it’s a dissolving into the feminine such as openness and softness of heart, instead of the strength and power of purpose and ability.
As we come into the deeper levels of the being, we come into the greater powers of being and the capacity to control and move – a masculine energy of being. In the integration of what you are as a being there isn’t the identity of male or female but a surrender to feminine beingness and then masculine beingness, and then deeper into feminine beingness and then deeper into masculine beingness. The swings, at first, can be quite strong which gives the clear sense of the differences and that the movement in each, as a being, isn’t the same. In the integration of the being, the swings become less and less until you start to move as both at the same time, which, manifested in your self, in your sexualilty can give you the sense of being androgynous.
Q1 (Joelle): I sense that I’m being pulled in deeper into that, and there are certain sessions, and I’m sensing this right now, also, where you pull me in, further in so deep, that without filters it feels sometimes like there’s no soul. Like it’s, I sense you in me and there’s just, you dissolve as particles and it just doesn’t feel like there’s any soul. Is this, am I making any sense?
Q1: Is this the end of being human that you mentioned? Is this beyond that? Is this…
John: It isn’t that it’s literally the end of being human. As you drop deeper within than your self, just into the heart, into the deeper heart, you drop into a depth of humanness which does not represent the totality of you. As you drop deeper within, into the being, and you start to integrate coming from your being into your self, and later, being a being, which is different from dwelling in the being. Being a being means that you are able to consciously move within and as the various levels of being, both feminine and masculine. In being a being in the midst of your self you are able to then move the whole sphere of being in form – not just within you but into others.
Then if you become awakened and invited into a completely different sphere of being than the human being, you come into the celestial level of being that isn’t human. You transverse from being a human being to being what is before that: a celestial being. In shifting from the self, your sense of self, the sense of being individual to being in your heart, there, instead of being a human individual you start to come into being humanness, without any kind of identity that holds all of that together.
In that shift, in being in your heart in the midst of all of your self and your life, you go through not a dark night but a dim night. The experience of it is dim in terms of light, because you are consciously foregoing the light of mind. The experience of light that you have from thinking and feeling, will and emotion, all holding together an identity and a sense of individuality, in foregoing that artificial light, an unintegrated light, you come into the first light of being that is dispersed within the heart. That light of being illuminates human beingness – you being humanness.
The dark night of the soul – it’s an old term; it isn’t really the dark night of the soul, it’s the dark night of individuality – when you shift from the heart into the being, in that shift you go through the first level of the black, “the black” meaning that there isn’t any of the light that you’re used to in your heart. You’ve already been foregoing the light of mind and the light of self. But in consciously entering the sphere of being without necessarily having the informational knowledge that you’re entering your being, as awareness you know the depth and quality that you’re responding to. There’s no understanding that’s needed. As you pass deeper within than the heart you enter your being without the light of mind, of self, but also without the light of humanness. You enter the sphere of being that gives life to your humanness, and magnifies your humanness, but in making that transition you will lose all sense of light that you’ve been used to, in your self, in your mind, in your personality, and also the light of heart.
So it’s experienced like a very dark night. You’re not able to see your way. You can know your way, but that knowledge is not infused by any kind of seeing of mind or of heart, so it feels like you’re turning into nothing. You are awareness relaxed, no longer in need of the light you’ve been used to, and you’re entering an entirely different depth of sphere. In that transition it’s a death. If you consult your previous light, the light that you’ve been used to, the light of mind or the light of heart, then you’re introducing a light into your being that is subsequent to the light of being, and because it isn’t the same, that takes you out of your being and returns you to the light that you’re relating to. It returns you to your heart and it returns you to your self and your mind.
If you are relaxed in staying the stillness, you’ll be what you really are without any of the light that you were used to in your self, in your heart, and you become like, you come into and become like the sphere of being, which is not first light, because you’re acclimatized to a subsequent light to the being; you are acclimatized to knowledge, a sphere of knowing that you are profoundly at home in. But if you have, from a sense of individuality, any need of understanding, any need of experience, any need of light, that takes you out of your being. Relaxed in the transition, there is a dying of the sense of self, a relinquishing, a relaxed, nurtureful relinquishing of the identity, which frees you to be, as awareness, one with your being. As you come into that, you, a being, begin to infill the heart, and infill the self, the mind, the personality, and your life. But that’s a being’s life in a body. The self life is gone. The being manifests in life within the field of the self. The self transforms and turns into a garden of being.
There, you start to come into what is like a divine level of humanness: extremely tender, versatile, subtle, flowy depth of humanness that fills your self. There isn’t an identity in it. There isn’t a sense of self in it. As you shift from having entered your being, becoming one with inner beingness, and you shift into being a being, which is like a flip: one moment, as awareness, you are absorbed, dispersed into all of your being, and a change occurs where awareness has control of that whole sphere. At first it loses control into all of the sphere of being, and then, in the development of awareness, you gain control of the being. It’s a difference between moving as beingness, and you, a being, moving beingness.
And then there is, upon invitation that comes from the celestial and before, the invitation for you, awareness, to be absorbed into the celestial sphere. That’s a dark night. The experience of that is that you forego being a being. You forego all of the use of this great vast depth of beingness, and you turn into a much deeper level of what feels like nothing. In going through the first dark night, all that you’re foregoing of the self, the identity, the sense of self, is the artificial. The self on its own, the identity on its own, isn’t real. But in going through the second level of dark night you forego all of the real, the real of the being, because you’re entering a sphere of being that isn’t human, and the human beingness has no control in this other sphere of being, so any use of human beingness makes you not the same as what you would be coming into of another kind of being: you entering what you were before you were in a body. You enter without any use, flow, movement of being. You first turn into a celestial level of knowledge. You don’t turn into its movement first, its beingness first, but its knowledge. On an experiential level, on a movement level, that comes across as you turning into nothing, foregoing all levels of being that you were accustomed to before, foregoing love as you’ve known it before.
In entering the celestial, the sphere of knowledge and being is so other than the nature of the human being. In making that transition as awareness, you will then move as a celestial being that is so other, into the field of human beingness, magnifying the human being, opening powers of the human being that are not accessible to the human being; they’re accessible to a celestial being that moves into the field of the human being, and they merge. That merge infills the heart, where you begin to move as a celestial humanness which brings about a great depth of understanding, a celestial level of understanding of the human being, the heart, the self, the personality and the deep, inner purpose of being in a body and in this life. It opens up a celestial level of empathy for your self, others, regardless of their orientation: a celestial level of love.
That will infuse your sexuality. It completely takes sexuality out of the level of what is hormonal. Sexuality opens into the celestial, the capacity to move as a celestial being – not just a human being, but a celestial being infusing humanness, not being confined to it, infilling and transforming your sexuality. That cleans sexuality, celestially, of polarization. It’s a very other kind of sexuality. It’s a level of sexuality that the human being, on its own, has no access to.
Q1: Could you say more about this very other kind of sexuality?
John: It’s a celestial capacity, a celestial power of being able to meet and commune.
Q1: So this that I feel with you, when I connect with you, when I feel one with you, but de-multiplied. When I look at you I see a purity. It’s not just a seeing; it’s a knowing. This level of purity, and at another level of seeing, I’m seeing what seems to be a variety, a whole range of codes, colours, numbers, or I can’t even put numbers. It just feels like there’s a light language that you are helping me remember or that I am remembering when absorbing, when being absorbed by direct knowledge. It feels like it pervades me, envelopes me. I feel that this language that you speak to us beyond, beneath the words, this language that comes, that emanates from you, is awakening a remembrance and it’s purifying the cells. I feel a buzzing, a vibrancy, such purity. Is this a language that you are helping us, me, remember, that you are awakening? It’s like an awakening of the DNA of a purifying of all distortion, which is directly linked to this very other sexuality, this unknown love. Is this correct? I’d like to say something that may seem really far out there, but I’ve been seeing more and more faces, like more and more dimensional faces in you and some seem intra-terrestrial, like just the most sophisticated body. Is there something like this? Is there something…
Q1: These dimensions, these higher dimensions that I am sensing, these presences that I’m feeling, this holding and containing, or the way I’m feeling held and contained? This all feels other-dimensional here. This is why I felt like there was a higher dimension emerging here on the planet. Is there something around this?
Q1: The planet ascending. Is there, I sense there’s a discussion yesterday about artificial intelligence, I was so not connected to that or even thought about it; I’ve been so, and I am so seeing this higher dimension, the planet realigning –I don’t know if it’s the planet re-aligning. It feels like what’s happening in me is what’s happening to her or the other way around. Is there something? Am I going off track or is there something correct in what I’m saying?
Q1: Like in my, I wanted to ask you, is there a difference between imagining and seeing or knowing? Like imagining stems from pure innocence. Does what I imagine as pure innocence not create reality? If I’m seeing in this other seeing a higher dimensionality manifesting or emerging here on this planet, is this my imagination or is this pure seeing?
John: That’s for you to discern. Imagination doesn’t provide you with the depth and the quality. Seeing does, because seeing arises from direct knowledge. Imagination doesn’t. Imagination is the capacity, your mental capacity to frame a thought with an artificial kind of seeing. Imagination is with the use of your mind’s eye to see a possibility. It’s not real. But you’re able to move within the sight of a possibility, and in being direct knowledge within you can move from imagination to imagination or from sight to sight to sight, and because you are still, in knowledge, you know whether the imagination has reality to it or not.
It’s a little like, on a self level, a mind level, using thought, highlighting different thoughts and specifying a scent, something that you can smell. There can be a mix of scents in something that you smell and you can use thoughts to try on all the different possibilities of what that scent is. And if you are quiet in your thinking, you know when you land upon a certain thought of what the scent may be, you know if that’s it or it’s not. You keep landing in another, another, another until finally you know what that scent is.
Q1: I’m seeing that distinction now. This that I’m seeing, this new dimension, is really a seeing from this other seeing. It’s like a knowing.
Q1: And I sense more and more presence, more and more light around me, like I’m held more and more, supported. A paradox of feeling both in the absence of light or in the unknown, stepping constantly deeper into the unknown and yet feeling increasingly held and supported and surrounded. Is this correct? Is this associated, I sense that this is linked to this emergence of this higher dimensional reality that I see manifesting. Is this linked?
John: You’re clear; you know.
Q1: So these, what I described as monumental changes, this is what’s happening, and this is my body adapting to this higher dimensional reality.
John: Your body and your self.
Q1: I sense that the body is completely changing. As I described earlier, I sense that my body is more energy held as opposed to being of the earth as before. Is this a transformation that’s happening to the earth, to mother earth as well? It seems inseparable.
John: It changes earth but it doesn’t change the world. This isolates the world because the world directly experiences even more what it is not.
Q1: So the only way we can reach out and help those still in the world is from humanness, touching the humanness that is open even the tiniest bit in them.
John: In this, don’t help others. Don’t reach out. As you are relaxed, you naturally move as humanness to others. It doesn’t require your intention. As soon as you give it intentionality you’ll gravitate to an identity: one who is able to do this. it’ll feed a sense of self. It’s what creates a sense, an experience, of them and us. It’s not real.
Q1: I’ve been feeling the opposite movement: not me reaching out but persons coming to me in the past few weeks. But it’s the same, just being humanness. I’m clearly seeing the oneness and no separation and I’m clearly knowing the importance of staying with you in this. I feel like, I sense that you are in me. I’m going to say permanently. When I eat, I move, I shower, you’re right there. Is this part of this brain taken over? This is the brain. This is relaxing more into the quietude, and is this why I sense that I have this feeling that my past is disappearing, the new brain?
Q1: Are persons that are still in the world, still very entrapped in the world, that still have even the tiniest of humanness going to be able to see the new dimension emerging on the planet?
John: Relaxed, yes. Relaxed, no-one can miss it. Not relaxed, even those who are awakened will miss it.
Q1: Is it right that there’s been like a real acceleration over this past week or ten days? Or is it…
Q1: It is, yeah. I sense that something really big is happening. This is what’s happening. Is this what’s happening?
John: You know and see, or, you will know and see.
Q1: Yeah. I see. May I ask one more question? You had spoken about communities in one of your previous meetings and from a seeing, that other seeing, it was communities reconnecting from higher dimensions. Was this a clear seeing or was this mind? I suddenly feel much more vastness. I’m seeing – I’ll just say without filters, without mind – like your ship of being that is way beyond this dimension that includes all dimensions. Oh. Yes. Intra and extra. Not even ‘in’ and, it’s … let me stop with words. It’s just so humbling. I am so, so profoundly grateful, John. Thank you for what you bring.
John: Bye for now.
Q1: Bye for now.
Q2 (Mei Chi): Just before we switched over, John, I just felt this movement from you that just came in and just opened me out and out and out, in my back. And then I just feel a little bit blank, now.
John: It isn’t blank. It’s like a room cleaned of its contents, which makes the room newly available. At first, the room is more because of the contents. The cycle changes, the room becomes more without the contents. Then, the room is more because of the new that comes into it.
Q2: So it’s funny, because I just remembered some of the content! Shall I just let it go and just…
John: It’s fine.
Q2: It’s very connected to what you’re saying to me, anyway. I’ve been in a lot of subconscious recently, just quite a lot of density, and yesterday in the first meeting, right at the beginning of the meeting, I just felt like you just came right through, and it was just like you just wiped it away, like it was so simple, and that’s what came to me when you said to Joelle about celestial empathy. It was like that; it was this substance that came into me and just, like, wiped it all. It just cleaned it all out, like, just in a few moments. That’s what you mean by celestial empathy? Like that kind of, it’s like that kind of movement and what that does. And then in the evening I really loved your conversation with Zaba and I was actually at the cafe table where we were talking about consciousness technology, and I asked a question because I don’t relate to that term and I’ve heard you use it, and the movie brought that term to mind, so I was asking people about that. And then yesterday, when you were speaking to Zaba, I suddenly had a sense of, just a sense of like this movement from behind me coming into everything here, and what came to me was this sense of, like, when you talk about consciousness technology, you mean all of this here, you mean my self? And maybe my being. Is that what you mean by consciousness technology?
John: (Shakes head, no.)
Q2: Oh, you don’t mean that. Can you say what you mean by that?
John: Consciousness technology is the practical application of knowledge that is inherent to consciousness. Not consciousness in existence, not the consciousness of existence, but consciousness before all of existence, wielding existence, transforming it.
Q2: When I experience what I experienced yesterday, I had the sense of coming in from somewhere so other, and then it was almost like when I came into existence, or my body or my self, or whatever it is, I just had this sense that it was like a technology, too. Like, almost like, it could be used in so many different ways, like not at all in the ways I’ve used them before, but that, almost like this sense of like it could just open and move in almost like endless ways. And that’s why I thought “oh, may be my self is a kind of technology!” Or something like that. Do you understand what I’m saying? Is it like that? With consciousness technology it can move here and its technology can move us so differently. I don’t know. Do you know what I’m saying?
John: Consciousness technology is able to move existence, celestially, which awakens it, brings it in.
Q2: I think I can describe it a little bit better. It felt like I was moving through almost on a molecular level all the substance I was coming into, and as I was moving through it, all the meaning that that substance usually has was just disappearing, so there was this sense of like no identity in anything I was touching, including my self and my person. I’m just wanting to ask you also, what is it that was moving through when that happens? What is it that’s moving through?
John: A newly opened, deeper level of you.
Q2: When you speak about the celestial and that moving here, I experience it mostly as this other substance, like the substance that you moved into me yesterday and what that did, and I experience it sometimes in my life. It just comes in. And whenever it moves it’s like I am just something else, but more recently there’s this one piece of my experience that I don’t know, it’s almost like it just stands alone and I don’t know even how to really relate to it because it’s so different to that. And I’m just going to share a fragment of a dream I had because it taught me that, too. In the dream, my subconscious was really, really stirred, and in the dream you were a woman and you were like a teacher, you were like John doing what you do, but you were a woman – but not the New Year one! – you were kind of brunette, and I was just asking you a question and then you just looked at me and you said “that’s so old.” Or something, but without a tone. I just put a tone on it, but with no tone. And then some people started laughing and then I started feeling very paranoid, but I just continued looking at you, and then between our eyes there was this kind of, just this dark, just almost like this one line between us, between our eyes, and in the dream it was like I felt like this sense of overwhelming, I just wanted to die, kind of thing, like there was nowhere to go, and there was this just one connection between us. But it wasn’t light. It didn’t feel like, almost like nothing, but what I knew in it was if I could stay in that, that would be everything, and it almost seemed impossible to stay in because it was little, like so little. Not like the other things I’ve been talking about, but this seemed so little. Even in the dream it felt like I knew that if I could stay in it, that was all, and it seemed almost impossible. I just wanted to ask you what that is.
John: A new substance that issues forth into you from an entirely different domain of knowledge. As you move into sameness as that, as you be the same it will be another cleaning. A dark night. A cleaning out of the real, enabling you to come into what the real comes from.
Q2: It seems so stark to me, that’s the quality of it. It’s like so stark.
John: That’s the beginning of a night.
Q2: And at the same time, when I’m in it, or like in that dream, it feels like that’s all I can count on. That’s the only thing I would want to count on. It’s the only thing I can count on. I feel as if I know that in you, like in your person. I’ve seen it, almost in the corner of my eye kind of seeing; that I see that, somehow. A kind of starkness. I have this sense like all the rest would go. All the rest: the light, the substance, the light substance. All of that could go. Why is it so narrow?
John: All that is made, all of existence is limited to what it comes from. It isn’t fulfilled of its own; it’s fulfilled by entrance to what it all comes from. It appears as being just ultimately narrow because there isn’t the latitude in the use of existence to enter what all of existence comes from. The entrance is by being the same as what all of existence comes from.
Q2: There’s a kind of tenderness in it. Am I reading that right?
John: The kind that everything comes from.
Q2: It’s just the most amazing quality. It’s everything. It feels merciless to me and so tender. And the most intimate and the most nothing. And those words that you say over and over and over again, like you talk about the depth and quality of something and I just know that now. It’s like that’s all I have to go by. It’s like somehow I always know the depth and quality. Almost like I don’t need to know anything else.
John: (Nods) Precisely.
Q2: And I want to ask you, do you, in this world, like, what do go by? Like, I know you move as many things, like you can move as light, you can move as substance, but at the core, what do you move by?
John: What is before everything. It isn’t a movement.
Q2: It’s not? So to everything that is a movement, it looks really stark. Everything that’s a movement.
John: Stark and unknown. But it does draw that into you and it draws that out of you.
Q2: I feel like it’s the most trustworthy of everything.And I want to say that all those years ago, when I saw you I think it was in Austria, at the end of a meeting, I think that’s what I saw in you. Like, I saw you were sitting there and all this was pouring through you. All this light and substance and colour and dimensions, and I looked right at you or something like that, and what I saw was where you were. It was like none of it, and I think I fell in love with that even though it scared me at the time, but something was so shocking to me that I knew something when I saw it. That’s actually home to me. Can that be home to me?
John: You said it is. Is it?
Q2: I think it’s home to me, but to be home to me in all my forms, like in the dream it seemed impossible, John, because it was so narrow!
John: All that means is you cannot employ familiarity to enter the unknown that you know.
Q2: What do I do with all the real that’s moving? It’s almost like in the real that’s moving, I just keep remembering this. I feel like I’m really asking you something. What do I do within all the real of what I’m knowing and moving in, and when I know this.
John: What all of the real comes from appears at first to move on its own, of its own. But it doesn’t. It moves of and from what it comes from. You come into how and why the real is, and moves. It’s before all of the real. It’s what gives the real its depth and its quality.
Q2: When you say “the real” you include, like, the different substance and the sense of the celestial. Do you mean that, or just…?
John: The deepest heart, the being, the celestial, the ancient, spirit.
Bye for now.