Q: I have issues with jealousy, and I don’t know what to do with this. It’s like a monster that comes to my home and I want help, because it’s not nice.
John: That’s good.
Q: What’s good?
John: That it’s not nice.
Q: I don’t have anything to do with this, not opening, not softening – nothing.
John: If nothing works that means you are incorrect in what you use, or you really are using what’s correct but you’re not genuine in it. So it’s either a lack of genuineness or you’re just simply using the wrong thing. If you open and soften, but for a result, then what you are using is correct but what is using it isn’t correct, so it creates a strange mix.
Q: So how can I find the right?
John: When you mentioned opening and softening that’s it, but then it’s opening and softening not for any kind of return, and not so that you can return to something that you’re used to, that’s made better for you. Not for any results: the openness and the softness, but for the sake of the openness and the softness.
If it doesn’t work what that tells you is that what you’re doing or what you’re being isn’t to correct code. It isn’t to the code of what you really are. When what you are being and what you are doing is to code, the code of what you really are, it works. It works because that really is you. When you have a combination lock and you try different codes and the lock just doesn’t open, that doesn’t mean that the lock just doesn’t work.
Q: Where’s my code!?
John: You being like this within, open and soften, but all the way through. And it doesn’t stop for anything in your self, not for anything in your life.
Q: But you know what happened when I do this? I got sick.
John: What do you mean you got sick?
Q: That I got sick, I have a cough. I don’t want to be jealous, but I have a relationship with jealousy.
John: Let openness and softness, instead of you going into some of it, let openness and softness of heart take you. If it makes you sick you don’t stop. If it makes your whole life wonderful you don’t stop.
It takes you, you let it take you, as far within as that may go, regardless of results or lack of results; regardless of positive things happening or negative things happening. That’s a fundamental shift.
A root of jealousy deeply grown into your self will not survive you taken by openness and softness of heart. The root will die and you will feel all of its dying.
Q: So when the jealousy comes I need only to open? To be okay with this?
John: It’s not about the jealousy. When jealousy shows up, that’s your cue.
Q: About what?
John: To unconditionally open and soften at any personal expense in the whole of your life. When jealousy strikes you that’s not the time to let go of jealousy: that reminds you to let go of everything.
Q: Difficult.
John: Costly. It will cost you everything that you’re holding onto. All of that let go and you are without holding. That’s a fundamental shift.
Q: How to let it go?
John: Not a little bit: all of it. The ‘how’ is all of it. When you let go of some of the holding that’s really complicated. Letting go of all of the holding, that’s simple. You don’t need to pick and choose: it’s not this one or that one. All of them. So deeply that you are no longer in relationship with holding. The holding in you is over regardless of anything that happens in your life, anything that happens to your self. Nothing makes you hold anymore. That’s you, fundamentally different.
With that kind of you, in your self, jealousy – the whole root of jealousy in your self – can’t survive.
629 – The First Light of Knowledge: Unconditionally Given to the Resonance of the Unknown
Only the subtlest resonance may remain from awareness in the sleep state, but John describes its power to connect us to what we really are – if we trust it unconditionally.
628 – Thriving as Love in What is Alien to Your Self
John meets questions and difficulties from experiences of a deeper reality, where it can be hard to distinguish the real from the imaginary. Do I even belong in this world?
627 – The Innermost Message of Anger: A Lovely Invitation from Within
Angry, frustrated or annoyed? In that moment, help is at hand. These feelings are lovely messengers bringing an invitation that can be easy to miss.
626 – Beyond Success and Failure: Moving from Clarity
Is it possible to invest a lot of time and energy in a project and not be caught up with its success or failure? There’s a quality of being that makes all the difference, and John explains.
625 – All-Weather Beingness: Inner Quietude Beyond Experience
Is there a way to stay connected to the deep while under pressure? John describes it as an all-weather beingness and explains how to become stabilized in its quiet nurture.
624 – The Awakening of Our Endless Consciousness
A question about enlightenment develops into an astonishing revelation of what our potential as consciousness really is, and it all begins with being given to the sweetest touch of tenderness.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
