JdR Podcast 418

Jealousy: Your Cue to Let Go of Everything

What can you do when the 'monster' of jealousy appears, within? There is one thing and one thing only, John says, that takes it out at the root once and for all.

"A root of jealousy deeply grown into your self will not survive you taken by openness and softness of heart."

—John de Ruiter

Podcast Transcript

With John de Ruiter from the November 2, 2019, Poleg Beach, Israel Event

Q: I have issues with jealousy, and I don’t know what to do with this. It’s like a monster that comes to my home and I want help, because it’s not nice.

John: That’s good.

Q: What’s good?

John: That it’s not nice.

Q: I don’t have anything to do with this, not opening, not softening – nothing.

John: If nothing works that means you are incorrect in what you use, or you really are using what’s correct but you’re not genuine in it. So it’s either a lack of genuineness or you’re just simply using the wrong thing. If you open and soften, but for a result, then what you are using is correct but what is using it isn’t correct, so it creates a strange mix.

Q: So how can I find the right?

John: When you mentioned opening and softening that’s it, but then it’s opening and softening not for any kind of return, and not so that you can return to something that you’re used to, that’s made better for you. Not for any results: the openness and the softness, but for the sake of the openness and the softness.

If it doesn’t work what that tells you is that what you’re doing or what you’re being isn’t to correct code. It isn’t to the code of what you really are. When what you are being and what you are doing is to code, the code of what you really are, it works. It works because that really is you. When you have a combination lock and you try different codes and the lock just doesn’t open, that doesn’t mean that the lock just doesn’t work.

Q: Where’s my code!?

John: You being like this within, open and soften, but all the way through. And it doesn’t stop for anything in your self, not for anything in your life.

Q: But you know what happened when I do this? I got sick.

John: What do you mean you got sick?

Q: That I got sick, I have a cough. I don’t want to be jealous, but I have a relationship with jealousy.

John: Let openness and softness, instead of you going into some of it, let openness and softness of heart take you. If it makes you sick you don’t stop. If it makes your whole life wonderful you don’t stop.

It takes you, you let it take you, as far within as that may go, regardless of results or lack of results; regardless of positive things happening or negative things happening. That’s a fundamental shift.

A root of jealousy deeply grown into your self will not survive you taken by openness and softness of heart. The root will die and you will feel all of its dying.

Q: So when the jealousy comes I need only to open? To be okay with this?

John: It’s not about the jealousy. When jealousy shows up, that’s your cue.

Q: About what?

John: To unconditionally open and soften at any personal expense in the whole of your life. When jealousy strikes you that’s not the time to let go of jealousy: that reminds you to let go of everything.

Q: Difficult.

John: Costly. It will cost you everything that you’re holding onto. All of that let go and you are without holding. That’s a fundamental shift.

Q: How to let it go?

John: Not a little bit: all of it. The ‘how’ is all of it. When you let go of some of the holding that’s really complicated. Letting go of all of the holding, that’s simple. You don’t need to pick and choose: it’s not this one or that one. All of them. So deeply that you are no longer in relationship with holding. The holding in you is over regardless of anything that happens in your life, anything that happens to your self. Nothing makes you hold anymore. That’s you, fundamentally different.

With that kind of you, in your self, jealousy – the whole root of jealousy in your self – can’t survive.

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