Staying True to the Sunshine of Awakening

Q: My heart has to stop beating because I’m excited to actually come in. I am new to your channel and I’ve been listening to you for two months and I feel it has an effect, just by being in this community, this group. So I just wanted to meet you in person and I have a question. I had some awakenings or openings and then after a while they, it’s like being a sun and then then you get the clouds over the shining of the sun and once you’ve been the sun, then you don’t like the clouds obstructing the shine that it’s coming out. And it’s kind of like, it’s okay, because every time when you reach the sun it’s like, it leaves a trace and it leaves a really nice trace but still it’s not the same when you feel like you’re shining. So, I was wondering if you could take me back there, because I’m somewhere in between, in the middle of – I feel okay, but it’s like nowhere really.

John: When you awaken you experience the sun. You have a self that’s not integrated, which means that the clouds are coming and they will cover the sun but the problem is not your self, it’s not the clouds, it’s your loyalty. When you awaken you are still in a self-orientation, oriented to your self, you favour your experience of your awakening, which means that you favour your experience of the sun more than you favour the sun. The sun matters more than your experience of it. When you’re oriented to the sun, cloud cover makes no difference to you.

When it’s the sun which represents what you really are and your awakening, it no longer makes any difference, your experience of it, when it’s night time you are warmed within by your love of the sun and when you see the sun lighting up the moon, it moves the deeper levels in your body. When the sun actually comes up in your experience as in the day, it moves the deeper levels of your body. When the clouds are between your self and the sun, your experience of the sun is different. It doesn’t prevent the coming of the day, it only prevents that warm experience of the sun, the golden experience of the sun. But even where there’s cloud cover, when the sun comes up newly in your day your deeper levels respond because you’re not oriented to your experience of the sun, you’re oriented to your love of the sun, any little touch of it, even in the night, moves you.

Q: Thank you. (tearful)

John: When the sun is experientially covered up, that’s like the truth in you is experientially covered up. That’s like the truth being underground, metaphorically it could be a hundred feet or a thousand feet underground, but when you awaken you know exactly where it is. So in this story it’s like you’re sitting on the ground and you are absolutely at home and if someone crosses your path and asks you ‘why you are sitting there, every time you have spare time you’re sitting on that same spot?’ And your response is `because the deepest truth I know within is right on this spot, a hundred feet under, or a thousand feet under, but it’s my love, so here I sit, oriented to my love’. That it’s covered doesn’t matter, then to you that covering is sacred ground. You don’t need to dig it up, you are in love with where you sit. So for you, you’re sitting in it, even though you are experientially removed from it.

Q: Yes, I understand, so the experience is the problem?

John: When you are in love with the sun it doesn’t matter to you whether it shines on you or not, that it shines is your love. Whether it shines on you or someone else, it’s shining and it’s shining on someone. You’re in love with that.

Q: Can you just explain again, what you said before about sitting in it without needing the experience? Is that what you said?

John: When the truth in you is experientially covered up, metaphorically speaking that’s like the truth being buried underground a hundred feet under, a thousand feel under, it doesn’t matter the distance, when you awaken you know where it is. So right there you sit. Why do you sit there? It’s because of your love. For you it’s sacred ground, you don’t need to dig up the truth because you know right where to sit. That’s you sitting in it.

Bye for now.

Q: Thank you John.