605 – The Cost of Cutting Yourself Off from Others
How can you be around people you care for, but don’t agree with? Dissociation only manifests more separation, and John shares how to stay connected.
Q: John, are we all one?
John: Yes. But that’s very different from all of us really being there. On a deeper level within, yes we are all one, but if we live being separate from what our being is then we will all be separate, separate from our beings, separate from the heart, separate from each other, separate from meaning, separate from goodness. Able to be one, but won’t.
The way to oneness anywhere that there is separation, is through openness and softness of heart. So the beginning of oneness is opening in the heart. As you are being that, openness and softness of heart, you are, right within the entrance to your being. As you, through that openness and that softness, come into your being, what you are also coming into is our being.
Q: When you say our being, do you mean, one and the same, of the same kind?
John: Yes. As you open and soften in your heart, despite all of the differences that you can have with everyone around you, it’s through that openness and softness of heart that you begin to come into what is the same in all of us, whether we are all there or not. As you come into that sameness, despite what differences are there, you start to see that sameness in others, even if they’re not being it, even if they’re covering it. By being it, your eyes open, you begin to see it. It enables you to feel for others even when they are closing and hardening.
All the ways in which we perceive ourselves as being so different from each other, it’s all actual; they’re actual differences. None of that is real. To be given to those differences is to be given to illusion. It’s only when you’re given to the sameness within that is actually there in everyone that you are being real. The real isn’t in our selves; the real begins within the open and soft heart. That openness and softness of heart that moves freely within our thinking or feeling, our use of will and emotion, is then realness, having presence in ourselves, slowly making our selves real or making ourselves by what we are being in ourselves, the same as our being. Instead of our selves being so different from our beings, by being the same as our beings, in the midst of our selves, our selves slowly become the same as our being. Being, in form. So in that way, instead of our selves being merely actual, our selves become real. And our beings, instead of just being real, become actualized in our selves.
Q: Would you call that illumination?
John: Transformation. Awareness, as it opens, becomes illuminated, filled with light. Awareness opening and being filled with light, in the midst of the heart, fills the heart with light. That light-filled awareness, and that light-filled heart that is dwelling within the self, fills the self with light. Your self becomes what you are being in it. In that way, it doesn’t matter what condition your self is in, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done to your self, it doesn’t matter what others have done to your self. What really matters is what you are being in your self.
Q: Thank you.
605 – The Cost of Cutting Yourself Off from Others
How can you be around people you care for, but don’t agree with? Dissociation only manifests more separation, and John shares how to stay connected.
604 – Broken Relationship: The Kindness of a Hundred-Year Perspective
Imagine looking at the the pain of a lost relationship from the kindness of a hundred-year perspective. New possibilities will open, and John explains.
603 – Your Deepest, Most Delicate Belonging
The sense of entering the second half of life is sharpening this person’s focus on what matters most, and raising some fundamental questions.
602 – Honest to the Core: Oneness in the Midst of Separation
A deep dive into the power of profound honesty to make oneness as reachable as going to sleep – without actually falling asleep.
601 – Don’t Go Figure, Go Sweetly Within
Sometimes, figuring things out doesn’t work in the way we expect. Dissolving core patterns is one example of this, and John explains why.
600 – Out of Your Comfort Zone, Into Your Heart
A perplexing and destructive habit is the focus of this dialogue. What could be so threatening about being touched by goodness?
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement | 1 year | Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional | 11 months | The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". |
elementor | never | This cookie is used by the website's WordPress theme. It allows the website owner to implement or change the website's content in real-time. |
PHPSESSID | session | This cookie is native to PHP applications. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. |
viewed_cookie_policy | 11 months | The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data. |
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
locale | 1 month | This cookie is used to store the language preference of a user allowing the website to content relevant to the preferred language. |
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
_ga | 2 years | The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. |
_gid | 1 day | Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. |
CONSENT | 16 years 2 months 18 days 8 hours | YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. |
yt.innertube::requests | never | This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. |
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
IDE | 1 year 24 days | Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. |
NID | 6 months | NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. |
test_cookie | 15 minutes | The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. |
VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE | 5 months 27 days | A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. |
YSC | session | YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. |
yt-remote-connected-devices | never | YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. |
yt-remote-device-id | never | YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. |
yt.innertube::nextId | never | This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. |