Q: I came in this lifetime with a lot of genetic things about being a woman and I would like to know what it really means to be a woman in this life. And what is it to be a man? And what is the physical sexuality for except making babies?
John: It’s for making the furthest reaches of your being all physical. It’s the greatest power in your humanness to bring up your being into your body, and to make your being all physical.
Q: And is it the same for men and for women, or is it different?
John: It’s a little bit different: a little bit easier, a little bit closer for a woman than for a man. It’s anatomically closer. A woman’s sexual body is particularized and complex, that readily brings in the recognition of mystery; not easy to move in, but easy to listen into. In this way a woman is closer to the being than a man. Both are drawn to the same that is there as mystery in a woman. The magical sexual fields, the many of them, are closer to a woman’s listening than to a man’s. The same is all there also in a man. To be able to listen in to it requires a greater depth of stillness.
Q: And to deal with all the old patterns which are there, it’s just openness: open, open, open?
John: And inviting your sexuality to have full presence in that openness.
Q: Why is this inviting necessary?
John: Because it isn’t going to open without you.
Q: So it’s not only open: it’s open and inviting – both.
John: As you open unconditionally, as you open all the way through, the moment that you even face your sexuality you naturally extend a depth of invitation. Your sexuality belongs to that deep openness within. It’s through that, that instead of your sexuality belonging to your self, which polarizes it – relating to attraction and aversion – it frees your sexuality from your self and returns it to your being. It’s then all moved into your body through your openness and by your being: the healing of your sexuality, your womanness, your self. It is the mystery of woman that, in our selves, we all belong to. We are all born of woman.
Q: In my relationship I stopped physical sexuality because of old stuff. Should I go again into it or is it something I do first me, and then with him? Or we do together? How, practically? I understand now why there was no want and need for it so I stopped it in the relationship.
John: Let it all come back on the terms of your heart, all opened, and on the terms of your being – how your being moves. Your sexuality awakening, re-awakening, in all of the delicateness of being it moves in your body, it moves up into your face, into your eyes. It changes your whole walk. It’s all contained within your body and your self until the mystery of its movement begins to touch into your husband. And as he enquires of this mystery in you, freely explain to him with your body, your heart, and all of your being that moves it. When he can see your mystery, that means that you are, in your womanness, already new.
Q: This is beautiful. Thank you.
548 – Right Side Up: No Longer Taking Your Stress to Heart
The responsibilities that come with working in the world can feel stressful. Is there a way of moving more lightly in it all? John explains how it’s all dependent on what we belong to, within.
547 – Profound Honesty: Being Okay When You Don’t Feel Okay
Shame, fear, anger … is it really possible to be okay in any circumstance, even when feeling attacked by others? There is transformative potential, and John explains.
546 – Less and Even Less: Why Weakness is Your Way Home, Within
Contrary to worldly conditioning, weakness isn’t something to conceal or avoid; it’s actually key to embodying a full spectrum of awareness. John describes the journey, and what it requires.
545 – From Fighting to Flourishing: A New Way Forward with Your Teenager
For this mother, who is struggling in relation to her teenage daughter, what begins as a hard lesson to learn becomes a beautiful crossroads that will deeply change them both.
544 – Evolving as Pure Awareness in War and Peace
An epic conversation that reveals what we’re here for, how to help people suffering the effects of war, what can change the planet, and why it’s up to us.
543 – Rebuilding Your Relationship For a Higher Purpose
Entering a sexual relationship too soon has created suffering for this couple. Is it possible to start over, and build the kind of commitment that will survive the inevitable difficulties?
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
