Q: I wanted to ask you about wanting and desire. I’ve heard you say that the thing that you want, you can’t get from the way you’re trying to get it.

John: When it comes to truth, yes.

Q: So is there benefit in really inquiring into the wants that come?

John: Yes.

Q: When you talk about embodied oneness, to me it feels like there’s something very intelligent functioning.

John: Yes.

Q: And when that intelligence is functioning in that way, one is able to inquire and let go of what’s not necessary.

John: On that level, for you to inquire into what you know is for you to then know. Whatever awareness asks for, from the core, it will have.

Q: Is that different from wanting?

John: When there is core honesty in awareness wanting to know the truth or wanting the truth, it can only have. For awareness that is clear, to inquire is to have. When the inquiry is unalloyed, the inquiry enters. Awareness immediately enters what it is, to the core, looking for. For awareness to inquire and then not have means awareness is not inquiring to the core.

Q: How can I know that I’m inquiring to the core?

John: You will immediately come into that which you’re not used to at all. And when you come into it, you know in all of you that you’re there, you’ve got it, and you know it. All that remains is absolute fulfillment.

Q: And that happens when it’s what matters most. Something is seen through, in terms of the personality or the usual way of functioning.

John: When it matters more than your personality, your personality is not in the way. When it matters more than your self and your life, your self and your life are not in the way. When it matters more than everything, there isn’t anything in the way, and you’re there. You’re there because you’re no longer being any alternative to that. When an alternative offers you anything, you’ll go for that alternative. You’ll inquire into the alternative, fooling your self.

Q: But if there’s already a complete fulfillment, why would I?

John: Because you’re able to. When you come into it, the more form that you give to it, the more difficult it is to undo, within that form, what you know has no real alternative.
When you give oneness form, for oneness to then be forsaken by awareness, awareness needs to undo all of the form that it came into, through oneness. The form holds.

Whatever you give form to, holds. Whatever you give your power to will be empowered. When it’s empowered, it holds. When you do that with form, then it holds in your forms. When you return home to what you really are and you give that form in your self, in your person and in your life, it holds. It can be undone but that would require an enormous amount of work, an enormous amount of conscious stupidity.

Q: My sense is to give oneness form requires a lot of very deep care as though it were caring for a baby.

John: Yes. All of your care on every level that you’re capable of for what you know, within, is everything. If anything can distract you from that, it’s because, as awareness, the truth, within, that you know doesn’t matter everything to you.

Q: I can feel the deep. I feel the way it matters and at the same time I can still feel the part where it doesn’t matter. Where it matters the most feels much more than the other.

John: And as honesty of awareness increases in profoundness, the percentage within of what you know matters everything increases. It isn’t a struggle, a process or a work for you to change that percentage. When honesty in awareness reaches into its own core, then for you there is only what you know is everything.

Q: It feels like giving up the struggle, the process, the work, is giving up the wanting to get there.

John: Yes.

Q: Because until now most of it’s been about that working, somehow.

John: When you want to know the truth within and that movement isn’t to your core, then your wanting to know the truth within is really just for your self, a self that isn’t like your own being yet. Whatever you are wanting to have for that makes you more like that.

When you want to know the truth within only for the sake of the truth within, your search is rock-bottom done. That means that of a truth, as awareness, your game is over. When all that you actually want is to know, that’s all there is. All there is is that you know. When you’re in that, you don’t know how to not be that.

When you use your personality to cope with any of the lack that you experience, when you use your personality to cope with any of the separation that you experience, you’re feeding what you can’t cope with. When you use your personality to cope with any lack within, with any sense of separation, and you’re somewhat honest, you know immediately the strain. That’s real feedback to you: don’t do what you know isn’t working. And if you do that, to the core, you’re home. When you are as awareness absolutely at home within separation, the separation is gone. You know how to be at home and you know how to be that without anything changing first.

The way for you to be home is that you know it’s true for you to be home; that you’ll be it only because you know that it’s true. Then you can seemingly be thrown into any state of separation and you are, as awareness, absolutely at home in it. Oneness within a state of separation, that state means nothing. It doesn’t alter the oneness that’s in it. It doesn’t alter you. If being in a state of separation can alter you, it’s because you’re interested in it. There’s something about separation that serves you, that matters to you.

If all that matters to you is the tiniest, tiniest little bit of truth you know, then into that you’re gone. There’s no experience or state on any level that can stop you. That’s what you are when you are, as awareness, honest to the core. There, you’re not able to be anything else.

When you are honest to the core, your only real ability is oneness. It’s all you’ll be. Oneness means that, as awareness, your relationship with knowing is clean. Then for you to know is for you to be.

Q: When the honesty is complete, the seeking is finished.

John: Yes.

Q: So if the seeking isn’t finished, the honesty is not complete.

John: Yes.

Q: That’s how you know.

John: When you’re being that, you are not able to not know.

It’s so easy for you that you do this every time you go to sleep. When you go to sleep, you relinquish the use of everything that you’re accustomed to. You don’t need your past, your day, your person, your self, for you to go to sleep. Core honesty is able to be exactly that, aware. Your being home is as reachable for you as you going to sleep. You enter the same, but without actually falling asleep.