Q:  Hi John.  I’d like to talk about something that happened. It was like a bell going off inside of me. It came out of the blue and it was like everything was just the same but I was seeing from a different place. I was still thinking, feeling. It was just like an immediacy. I thought, well, this is it. How could I have not seen this before? Just see what’s arising, within and without, and it didn’t seem to matter what was coming up. I’d be failing almost all the time, but quite quickly I could just see that. Is that maybe a little taste of what you describe as home?

John: Yes. 

Q: This perspective change, was that seeing from my heart? Is that the level I was seeing from?

John: No. As awareness, you were seeing from within your being. You were seeing way from within, outwards. When you’re coming from and seeing from within your being, while you’re in your self, that makes your self like an environment of yours. Whatever moves of your self is like water flowing over your body. Whether that water is clean or dirty, unpleasant or not unpleasant, it doesn’t go inside of you. It really has nothing to do with you and that’s just quietly clear to you. Whereas, when it’s your self that you come from, identified with, are seated within, everything that flows over you flows through you; it’s all the same to you. When you’re seated within your self, everything that touches your self does the same to you, giving you the sense that you are the same. Then your experience is that of being, in some way, separated from your heart, separated from your being, locked out and wistfully looking in. Longing to go in and not knowing how. 

Once you’ve awakened, it isn’t just the experience. It’s that within the experience you directly know the truth. You really know and you really see. Once you know, you, awareness, are able to be what you know without the benefit of the experience.

Q: Yeah. It did seem like that. There wasn’t really any experience so much as a quietness or an at-peace-ness, but I somehow knew that this was more important than what I’d thought of in the past as an experience. This was like everything to me.

John: What really matters in your relationship with what you’ve awakened to, in your relationship with the truth that you know, within, is your givenness.

Q: Givenness?

John: How completely you are given. You can be given to what you know a little bit or a lot. What really matters, because what you know, within, you know matters the most, is that you are completely given – deeply, completely, altogether given – to what you know, within, at any personal cost. That makes real that what you know, within, means more to you than your self, than anything personal, than anything in your life. That makes real that your ground is not in your self. It isn’t in anything personal. It isn’t in your mind. It isn’t in your life. Your ground is exclusively in the truth you know, and you love that what you know within is your only ground in the midst of any manner of experience.

Q: Yeah. It lasted a number of weeks and I thought it was unshakeable, but was I like ‘fair-weather home’?

John: Yes.

Q: So I guess it’s not a matter of getting this back and I know the storms that come in, my particular storms that are my biggest issues. So it’s just familiarizing your self with the storms when you see them coming and just weathering them as best you can?

John: If you weather them as best you can, you won’t make it through them. If you brace your self because you see a storm coming, you will not make it through.

Q: Yeah. That’s been my experience.

John: When you brace your self or ready your self, you use your self to be what you know the truth of, so you will be your self in the storm instead of being what you know, despite your self, in the storm. 

Really all there is, which is true to your love, all there really is and all that you really are is ‘mmmm’ in what you know. In fair weather, in rough weather, no weather makes a difference to your ‘mmmm’. The ‘mmmm’ is your givenness to what you know. Within that, you deeply have need of nothing and that’s nurtureful to you. You have no need of fair weather. You have no need of coping in harsh weather. Emotional and mental hope means nothing to you. It has no draw in you, it has no hook in you. It’s not real to you. The weather, soothingly, no longer matters to you. It isn’t an effort. It isn’t a performance. There isn’t any personal need to be rested. There’s no personal need for you to be what you know. Your being what you know the truth of, within, is cleanly without result and without return. It’s authentic. 

You’d love being what you know in every little thing that comes your way. Being what you know is the beloved, within. You are as warmed in sickness as you are in health. You are as warmed, within, in difficulty as you are in ease.  Your being warmed, within, isn’t conditioned on any experience. What warms you is that you know the truth and it is the truth, within, that you are. All is complete: you’re in it, you’re being it, and there isn’t anything else. Polarization no longer has any purchase in you. 

Once you’re home, unconditionally, the depth of home ever increases. Everything that life brings you increases your depth of being home because everything that life brings you has you directly relating to what you know, within. Everything turns you to what you know. Everything that comes your way shows you what you know because that’s your orientation. Knowing is your love. Knowing is what you are. You won’t relate to what you like and what you don’t like anymore. What you relate to is what you deeply, quietly love. 

Ease occasions most subtle, delicate peace in you. Great storms occasion great peace in you. Everything that comes your way draws what you really are right into the surface. That makes the surface, for you, opened. Because of you being what you really are drawn up into the surface by life, the surface, for you, ever opens.

Want and need have lost all of their appeal in you and you live life nurturingly taking care of everything that’s in your care. The weather doesn’t make a difference to that. In any kind of weather, from the inside out, you are the same. You are this deeply nurtured equilibrium of being, in anything. 

What accomplishes that is your most deep, most quiet, most rested givenness. All of your power moves and flows into what you know. That’s what enables you, love, to ever move. Your life is all from the innermost, outwards.

Q: Thank you John.