JdR Podcast 412
The Quiet Walk Into Love: Crossing the Desert Within
Why should we treat others with fairness and kindness when they don’t treat us that way? John reveals how the surrendering of our sense of entitlement to love is a necessary desert that must be crossed before the embodiment of what we really are can be lived.
"The walk into love absolutely denudes you of your sense of self. In this walk, illusion dies and only you live. The first step in is quietly, and there's no looking back."
—John de Ruiter
With John de Ruiter from the December 13, 2020, Interactive Live Stream
Q: I feel much better after I met you. and trusting my own legs to be able to carry me. It’s been a really freeing feeling for me to let go of this so-called spiritual path. Now I feel free but I’m in a void: I don’t know where I’m going with my new legs. Maybe I don’t need to know where I’m going..
John: First, in your self, don’t know where you’re going. That clears you of all self-oriented direction. Then, in what is deeper within than your self, know your response; that you are always in response within.
Q: So then the response right now would be that I don’t know.
John: But you’re in response.
Q: I feel a little uncomfortable being lost.
John: Only for your self. But know your response, response that comes from what’s deeper within. You don’t need to see, you don’t need to understand.
Q: I feel I’m quite occupied with fairness. My mind is occupied. I feel I’m considering someone else, and I feel I’m good at that. I also expect that other people consider me.
John: That’s a self-orientation. You get to consider everyone, and no one needs to consider you.
Q: I’m so completely occupied and to the point where I’m like: “Oh, just let go!”
John: Yes, but let go of all of it. All sense of entitlement to love from others.
Q: But I feel entitled for something in return.
John: It’ll poison you.
Q: Then why should I consider anyone else?
John: Because that’s the nature of what you really are, and it doesn’t need the same from anyone. It’s an unconditioned love, a love that’s clean of your self.
Q: I feel many times I consider everybody and then forget about myself. I disappear.
John: Disappear. Disappear and you’ll come through, you’ll come out on the other side and it’ll be your innermost in your self instead of a limited, small-pointed awareness oriented to your self, that occupies your self.
Q: I have this justice in me that is so strong, and I know that just doesn’t get me anywhere.
John: It matters from the inside out. It matters from the inside out, it does not matter from the outside in. The only one who needs to love unconditionally is you. No one else. If others need to be the same, you will most certainly use that for your self; you’ll make it about your self. It’ll poison you.
Q: Yeah, and it takes up a lot of my time. I’m so afraid some other people are gonna abuse me, just run all over me.
John: They will.
Q: (Laughs). Okay, that’s what I’m protecting myself against.
John: It won’t help you to protect your self. The only thing that helps you is you being love.
Q: What about setting limits? Is that okay?
John: No, because you’ll set limits for the comfort of your self. You set limits for your self’s sake, not for truth’s sake. It isn’t love in you that sets limits; it’s self orientation in you that is setting limits. It’s a misuse of power.
Q: I like it to be quiet around me.
John: It doesn’t need to be quiet around you.
Q: I also don’t need to be quiet, then.
John: No – you do.
Q: I have to be quiet?
John: There isn’t value in setting limits unless it’s love that sets them. But make no mistake in that. If the setting of limits is oriented to your comforts and your self, it doesn’t matter what you think that you’re setting it as love, you’re not.
Q: So, I should just leave everybody alone.
John: No. You be the love in the midst of love, noise, disquiet, unfairness, injustice, unrighteousness, and you are nurturefully quiet, as that love, in the midst of it all. You can’t do as love something about it unless you first, as love, are free from it all.
Q: I can move to a place where it’s very quiet, but then what have I learned?
John: Mmm. Quiet for your self, but not quiet. You have justice, righteousness, fairness-noise all in your self. It’s not real. It’s a false orientation. The real, within, is first without result and without return. Be rooted in the quietude of love’s unconditionality. It’s critical to you being love.
Q: Because it brings all kinds of other things with it. I become so negative and resentful, and that’s not who I am.
John: To the bone, be finished with all of that; don’t entertain even a speck of it. A speck of it will overtake the whole of you. The ease of love is when you cleanly, quietly give up everything, right to the speck. All that remains is love. Your garden will grow from the inside out, and it isn’t until that garden is growing into the outside that you’ll have the deep ground within to start setting limits. But make no mistake in stepping into that too soon.
Q: Because those limits will be coming from a deeper understanding. I probably even won’t be needing to set that many.
John: When love says no to someone, it is so full of yes. This is your new walk. It’s your death-walk, your death walk into the light. Once you’ve settled into the light, you’ll realize that all that has died was not real.
Q: I knew that but I just couldn’t stop it. It’s like an old, old program.
John: Have nothing to do with it.
Q: There is this fear in me of just letting everything go.
John: In the death walk, the death walk into the light, fear not.
Q: I just feel like this life of mine has been so much about walking alone.
John: The purity of alone, and don’t touch into self-alone.
Q: A lot of my life has been sort of alone.
John: Self-alone. Not purity alone.
Q: Oh, I just meant alone, like, without that many friends or people around.
John: Self alone.
Q: I don’t know why I started to cry. It just made me feel like…
John: You cried because you knew, and that profound knowledge reverberated through your self. The end of your sense of self was in sight. You cannot live being the real without you crossing this desert. For as long as you are not crossing this desert, you are wasting your self and your life.
Q: I don’t have any more time to waste, I know that.
John: Crossing the desert is a death walk.
Q: I feel like I’ve been in the desert for a long time.
John: A self-desert: a self-desert is a creative self-walk. It’s an illusory walk. You dabbled in the desert; you didn’t cross the desert.
Q: How do you cross the desert?
John: Without your self-righteousness. Without the self ties to fairness and justice. It’s the end of your misuse of power. Self-entitlement, self-righteousness and self-love will not survive the death walk into the light. The self-love has realness in it, but it’s all mixed.
Q: The first time I talked to you back in May, when you talked to me about my spiritual path and it just happened and it was not difficult.; it just happened.
John: That’s because of your sincerity, or it would not have happened.
Q: And because I was ready to let it go. You made me aware that I was ready.
John: Until you’ve done the death walk into the light, you have not walked the walk. You have not walked the walk of what you really are in the midst of life.
Q: What’s the first step?
John: Into what you know, and not looking back. If you look back, you will be taken back.
Q: I have been looking back because there are certain things in my past that I have a hard time forgiving myself.
John: The self path. The walk, the response into love has no room for anything but love.
Q: Which means that my whole past disappears, and it doesn’t matter that I did things that were unloving, that I have a hard time forgiving myself.
John: The walk into love absolutely denudes you of your sense of self. In this walk, illusion dies and only you live. The first step in is quietly, and there’s no looking back. It’s the end of self-image. Self-imaging onto others, wearing what looks like a coat of love, but it’s not love.
Q: But together with you I feel who I really am.
John: When love touches into you, it’s always from within your side of the desert. But when love calls you, it is always from the other side of the desert. And then there’s the walk. In that walk, only love remains.
Q: What’s the difference between when love touches into me and when love calls you?
John: When love touches into you, it’s in the midst of illusion. But when love calls you, it is from outside of illusion. When you walk the walk, you are walking out of illusion into love. It’s a death walk, until you’re finished with it. All that remains is love, embodied in your self and in your life.
Bye for now.
Q: Bye John. Thank you very much.
This is it.
Subscribe for more
There’s two ways to subscribe and listen to the John de Ruiter Podcast
1. All Podcasts: Listen to present and past podcast episodes right from our website!
2. Subscribe Free on iTunes: Download past episodes and subscribe to future episodes for free from The John de Ruiter Podcast on iTunes (iPhone users can download the Podcast App to subscribe automatically as well!)