JdR Podcast 320
I've Had a Spiritual Awakening. What's Next?
A young woman is exploring a powerful awakening that opened her to a sense of oneness with the universe and enlightenment. John supports her in the newness of her experience with vivid analogies, encouraging and guiding her in how to carry this forward in her life.
"In what you’re coming into, you don’t need any of the holding in your self. You don’t need your familiar use of your self. It’s all going to open, it’s going to transform and turn into something much deeper, much higher and inclusive of reality."
—John de Ruiter
With John de Ruiter from the June 3, 2018, Moen, Denmark Event
Q: A couple of months ago I felt a great shift in my life, you can call it a call, or awakening. I felt opening of my heart and solar plexus and this manifested in visions. This happened in a dream the first time. I feel that I’m sleeping, but actually I’m really aware and it’s a form of an explosion, like the whole universe explodes in beautiful colours and patterns and I dissolve into this space that is like a void, but it is actually everything. It’s like the recognition of existence, so that I feel that I understand the whole universe and I’m one with it. There’s no “me” here; it’s just consciousness. I cannot say it’s me, like a person. I felt this, “oh my god, this is the feeling of being enlightened!” I would love you to show me how can I use it or share it in a clearest way with others – or should I?
John: You don’t need to share it. Follow through in what you’re knowing in it instead of dispersing the energy through sharing it. Let it stay in you and let it heat everything up; let it start to burn in you like a coal. The burning is you being the knowing in everything that you’ve experienced. It isn’t the experience. The experience comes from something else. As the direct knowledge moves in you, that turns into an experience. The experience is form of what you’re knowing and how you’re being moved. As you are given to what you directly know in all of this, that heats up your core until your core manifests in your body, which is something like a burning coal. It’s like a burning coal in your heart. The more that you’re given to it, the more that it burns.
What’s taking place is that you are in the beginning of being turned into something completely different. It is so other-than, that if you could see with your mind what you will turn into, it would be a shock to your mind. Have you seen the movie District 9? District 9 is a movie of this man whose hand starts to change, and it’s just strange and weird and something wrong with his health. He has his own conclusions about it, but as this progresses he realizes that his hand is turning into an alien’s hand and then it progresses further and further, and it ends up taking his whole body.
You’re not going to turn into an alien, but as you follow this through you are in the beginning of turning, turning into something that your self, your mind and everything that you can relate to in this world cannot relate to. The only way into this turning is by you being taken by what you deeply know within is occurring in these experiences. As you are in this, it would be of use to the ease of this turning for you not to take on huge projects in your life, because then it’s the project that takes you instead of this.
Q: I had this question of what my purpose is. There is a shift and then the mind freaks out because there is nothing to hold onto and nothing to achieve and no meaning in this illusion way. But I feel my call …
John: Is completely all in this. It’s all in what you deeply know is occurring in these experiences. Your whole purpose, all the way through, is in this that’s occurring in you. Don’t be distracted by various outward life purposes. Do whatever you need to do in your life, but this that’s opening in you is your real life. It’s the emergence of a life that you’re starting to see a little.
Q: The easiest way to leave behind the patterns of the mind, behaviour and habits that actually inhibit me really, to share this love in me.
John: Don’t go so quickly into the sharing; you’ll disperse what’s heating up in you. When your patterns take you, that’s helping you to see how well being taken works. All you have to do is just touch into a pattern and it takes you, so the actual shift of being taken by a pattern is so tiny. Get to see the principle in that within your patterns, and then give everything that you’re seeing of that to your relationship with this that’s opening in you; that you love applying the principle of givenness in this and being taken by this, and being gone in this.
As you follow this through, you may also go through quite a sexual awakening. It’s like a second puberty, a level of sexuality that is different from what you’ve been used to. As you come into that, let that also freely take you and, like the sharing, let it be contained. Let the awakening, the movement of that sexuality, be contained within your body and your self, so it is like a pressure cooker. If you release the energy through ways you relate to in your self and as a personality, you’re dispersing the energy and you’re not letting it build, you’re not letting it change over your system. But if it’s quietly contained, within your body and your self, then the movement of that energy powerfully takes you way into what you’re coming into. It’s like an engine – a powerful engine that moves with this turning that you’re starting to come into.
Q: The whole room is rising. Is this the part of seeing the things moving, that I see vibration, energy fields?
Q: And three dimensional: a tree is not just a concept anymore, but really in this empty void, I really feel it.
John: As your mind opens to that same level, you’ll be able to think. Instead of from within your head, you’ll be able to think from within a tree. Everything changes. You’ll turn into something that’s multi-leveled, inter-dimensional and unrecognizable to anything in your self, but it’s all you, in form, because you’re letting that change and that turning change your forms.
Q: Will it affect my healing of my body? Because I have a thyroid condition, that actually my body created antibodies throughout the years I destruct myself with a lot of thoughts.
John: Do whatever you like on the surface about that, but don’t connect it to the deep. Don’t use what you’re coming into, applying that to your condition. Don’t cross the levels, don’t use what you’re coming into to be of benefit to your self. It’s meant to completely take you over and take your self over, which is so other than helping your self. This isn’t occurring to be of benefit to your self and to your life; this is all of benefit to what’s opening in you. Like making none of this useable. Like making none of this practical. Be in everything that’s practical, while this is taking you.
As you are being given into this, being taken by this, and into it being gone, don’t stop at any point to draw conclusions. The conclusions that you draw that you don’t directly know the truth of are the signs that you put together that stop you.
Q: So my mind shouldn’t understand this?
John: It’s not that it shouldn’t understand it. The deeper levels of your mind can comprehend. Understanding emerges behind you. As what you’re coming into takes not just you but also your mind, your self, your surface life – everything – you’ll be embodying what you come into. As you do, then you have a multi-leveled comprehension of what you’re in, so you’ll have real understanding that is through and through. If you draw conclusions along the way, you create, you fabricate a conceptual understanding and it’s not real. The energy that goes to what you conceptualize and how you’re given to the concepts that you’ve concluded the truth of, that energy is not going into what you’re coming into so that’s you steering away from all of this that you’re coming into. It’ll feel like it’s helping. It isn’t a help; it’s your interference.
Your self is going to all change. Your thinking is going to all change. In what you’re coming into, you don’t need any of the holding in your self. You don’t need your familiar use of your self. It’s all going to open, it’s going to transform and turn into something much deeper, much higher and inclusive of reality instead of inclusive of what you’ve learned in this world.
Q: So these patterns will die away by themselves without my conscious interference?
John: Yes. The patterns will die somewhere behind you. Any energy that goes to working with your patterns is not going into this that you’re coming into. This that you’re coming into will consume every little bit of energy that you give it. Everything that you give into it turns you.
Q: Is there anything I need to do, or will it just come by itself?
John: Burn in this. Similar to the burning, it will also bring up in you what is like a groaning. It’s not a groaning you can hear. It’s the groaning of a primordial opening in you and it’s all in your body.
Q: What kind of attitude I can have towards this?
John: The attitude of givenness. Everything that what you’re coming into cracks of your self, crumbles of your self; any little way in which this emerging in you takes apart your self at a fundamental level is an opening for your humanness. Within that cracking open is the dissolve of your whole relationship to your self. As that cracks and crumbles and starts breaking, that frees your humanness to freely move in your self. The humanness, in that way, replaces all of the holding spaces in your self. This will all make you so not your self, but so deeply, deeply human.
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