Questioners ask John about the inability to forgive and move on from an abusive relationship, what to do with feelings of self doubt and hatred, and how to deal with an inflamed self. John speaks about self importance, the concept of holding oneself as more important than others, as the cause of negative emotions, and an obstacle to being in the heart.
What is love? How do we find it? Do we really need it? In this dialogue the questioner asks John to explain his statement “love is not an experience, love is what you are.” In response, John expands on the different kinds of love and how to go beyond the surface and discover a deep and subtle, unconditioned love not based on experience or need.
In this meeting John explains to the questioner how fear comes from a distortion in your self. He goes on to speak about how having self esteem is not necessary to evolve in your heart.
Parents face many challenging and stressful situations with their children every day, where practical needs seem to conflict with the ability to stay relaxed and kind. In this dialogue we find out how we can stay connected with our heart while addressing difficulties, and how children learn from their parents how to handle stress in a caring and effective way.
The questioner touches on her difficulty in dealing with and taking on other people’s pain. John explains that taking other people’s pain increases their pain, and that the only real way to end the cycle is to first address the cycle of pain and guilt in herself. The dialogue deepens and unfolds into the following topics:
A questioner asks how to deal with difficult situations in life, such the death of a parent, that can trigger an experience of pain and difficulty. John speaks of death as something that can bring true perspective into our life; of love moving in pain and filling it, turning it into compassion. This is a talk on love, the passing away of veils in death and our real power being openness, allowing for love to fill all of our forms.
In this Q&A dialogue, John speaks about how to stay in the heart when others attack or offend you.
The dialogue covers several topics including:
• Reactivity and polarization. The reactivity betrays a false, illusory investment.
• Being honest to your self blinds you.
• Being beautifully vulnerable: No filters, no boundaries, no shields, no protection of any kind – you will feel everything. Everything that touches your self from anyone, from anything, is free to go right into you, right through you.
• Instead of reacting – open. When someone loves you – open. When someone is nasty to you – open. Then you are being what you really are.
A detailed and sometimes humorous teaching on how to remain open however someone treats you.
In this Q&A dialogue after watching the movie “The Tiger: An Old Hunter’s Tale” the questioner asks about how to let go of the false story you’ve let define you and truly live life to the fullest.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
