“I dread going to work: Should I leave my job?” This questioner is wondering how to deal with a difficult boss. John shows how, when there isn’t a tightening within, an unpleasant experience can actually open deeper love, making it possible to flourish even in difficulty.
How does one deal with the emotional trauma of sexual abuse? What is the value of our past and its memories? In this deep and intricate dialogue, John shows us how opening in the present can heal the past, reconfiguring our body and our self.
Many of us love responding to and being in our hearts; and yet we find it challenging to sustain a love filled heart in in your daily life, in the midst of circumstances, in the midst of feelings and emotions in our selves. In this dialogue, John speaks of and explains how to sweep the self out of the heart, develop a deeper and a higher self, and live in love and empathy instead of fear.
Questioners ask John about the inability to forgive and move on from an abusive relationship, what to do with feelings of self doubt and hatred, and how to deal with an inflamed self. John speaks about self importance, the concept of holding oneself as more important than others, as the cause of negative emotions, and an obstacle to being in the heart.
What is love? How do we find it? Do we really need it? In this dialogue the questioner asks John to explain his statement “love is not an experience, love is what you are.” In response, John expands on the different kinds of love and how to go beyond the surface and discover a deep and subtle, unconditioned love not based on experience or need.
In this meeting John explains to the questioner how fear comes from a distortion in your self. He goes on to speak about how having self esteem is not necessary to evolve in your heart.
Parents face many challenging and stressful situations with their children every day, where practical needs seem to conflict with the ability to stay relaxed and kind. In this dialogue we find out how we can stay connected with our heart while addressing difficulties, and how children learn from their parents how to handle stress in a caring and effective way.
The questioner touches on her difficulty in dealing with and taking on other people’s pain. John explains that taking other people’s pain increases their pain, and that the only real way to end the cycle is to first address the cycle of pain and guilt in herself. The dialogue deepens and unfolds into the following topics:
A questioner asks how to deal with difficult situations in life, such the death of a parent, that can trigger an experience of pain and difficulty. John speaks of death as something that can bring true perspective into our life; of love moving in pain and filling it, turning it into compassion. This is a talk on love, the passing away of veils in death and our real power being openness, allowing for love to fill all of our forms.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
