transcriptsapp - John de Ruiter

Untangling The Knots In Relationship

November 21, 2015

Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him? John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he

The Deep, Quiet Connectivity Of Real Relationship

January 8, 2020

Q: I love what you say about the self being only the vehicle through which innocence and purity naturally express. At the beginning of our relationship, we were both aware of playing a kind of ping-pong game, where the energy went back and forth as if we were trying

A Relationship Dilemma: Finding Quiet Clarity

January 29, 2016

Q: I found myself in a very complicated and difficult relationship, needing effort to soften and love in the face of aggression. I moved away some months ago. That seems right because I don’t fit in the relationship, yet there is still an attachment to him. My heart reaches

When Are You Ready For A Real Relationship?

September 17, 2013

Q: I’ve had quite a few relationships that ended. In most cases that was good, but it always took me time to get over it. In my latest grief I found a closed place in me which might have to do with not being able to let go. I

What Is A Relationship For?

April 30, 2010

Q: What is a relationship for? What is its purpose? John: A relationship is for bringing the deepest knowledge and the deepest levels, within, all the way through into being functional in your self, which is not just the making, then, of a new self, but of a higher

Tenderness: Your Living Connection To Goodness

April 17, 2010

Q: I’m struggling with separating from the father of my children. There is a big split in me. John: It’s nothing that tenderness can’t take care of. Q: We’re stuck in a stalemate. Sometimes there’s a movement from him of reconciliation, and from me there's both a searching for

The Reach Of Dearness Into Depression

May 21, 2013

Q: How do I keep my life energy when I live with a husband that I deeply love, am deeply connected to, but who is very depressed and full of pain? How do I cope with that? John: Instead of being your self to him and with him, be

Real Marriage: A Cosmic Love-Team

June 19, 2011

Q: You recently said something so beautiful about marriage that I wrote it down: “A communion of real knowledge found with each other, made with each other.” I'd love you to talk about it some more. John: That’s having every level, within, with which you meet. That naturally comes

What Is Real Loyalty?

April 27, 2013

Q: I have a question about loyalty. Somehow, I always manage to get myself in a position where I have to choose between mom and dad, and then a struggle occurs. Can you help me to recognize the true nature of loyalty? John: As with absolutely everything else, it

Young Men And Women Speak With John

August 29, 2015

Q1: Is there anything in particular about being young that people here need to take care of? Or is there anything you would say about being young? John: When you’re young, the polarity in your self isn’t seasoned. Q1: Do you mean you’re not further down the road of being in

Building A Relationship For A Higher Purpose

March 15, 2004

Q: Hello, John. My partner and I have been living together for the past six months. Many times I’ve wondered whether that was kind or skillful because of the pain and suffering that arise in the relationship. If I had had my time over, I would not have included

If You Had Someone Else's Self For A Day …

March 23, 2014

Several people speak with John in the Jewel Cafe: Q1: Things are better with my daughter. John: It’s better between you and your self. Q1: What do you mean by “better between me and my self”? John: It’s not really between you and your daughter; it’s between you and

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