Excerpt from a dialogue with John de Ruiter on December 11, 2015
Q: I have tapped into a consciousness of grief that I feel is not mine. It comes through me like a pipeline. I would like to let that go, because it does affect me, but I’m not sure how to go about it.
John: It affects you because it serves you.
John: It confirms a sense of your self.
Q: I don’t want it.
John: You don’t want the result of it, but what you do want is the initial way of relating. The initial way of relating gives you a sense of your self. When you’re relating to your self, you open up to what affects your self. As soon as your self is affected by something outside your self, you may not like that result, but you were plugging into it.
Q: How do I change that?
John: What is ground for you then needs to change. If your self is your ground, even though there’s deeper ground within, you’ll separate from that deeper ground. The ground of your self invites everything that groundedness relates to.
If you relate to the ground in your self, the ground in your self is incomplete, so it’s the incompleteness of that ground that’s going to find everything in experience that is also incomplete – that’s incomplete outside of your self. There is a deeper ground within that is complete, and that’s the ground of your quieted heart. From that ground you find the same thing in everything else.
Q: How do I get to that ground?
John: Honestly. The way that you get there is honestly. As soon as you’re honest to your heart, you’re in. When you’re honest to what you think and feel in your self, you’ll be in your self, which is not bad, but what you’re in is incomplete and it’s full of lack. None of it is bad and at the same time it doesn’t reflect to you what you really are. It reflects to you your environment. Your first environment is your self; your self in all of its conditioning. As you relate to it through your thinking and your feeling, you’ll find incompleteness in the rest of your environment that goes further and further outwards.
But if you go just beneath the surface, just beneath your self, just beneath your own environment, what’s there is the completeness of your own quieted heart. Your heart, quieted, is the beginning of your own being. Into your being, there is endless completeness; levels and levels and levels of form that perfectly reflect what you really are. Any little movement of your own being, because of you being in it, is love.