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Questions About Relationship

“Dearness matters more than anything that you can do together. Dearness is your togetherness.”

Latest YouTube Video on Relationship

Staying in the Bond After a Breakup

February 21, 2021 @ 11:00am

After the pain and loss of a broken relationship, is there anything left of the connection? John speaks of being given to the unseen bond that remains. Over-thinking and analyzing is another way of trying to manage the difficulties of life, but it’s being gentled and quieted in the heart that works.

Latest Podcast on Relationship

John de Ruiter Podcast 557

Dealing with a Difficult Person: Where do I Start?

April 5, 2016 @ 7:30pm

John explains the misunderstanding that’s at work when we’re triggered by someone’s difficult behaviour, and how quickly that experience can change.

Latest Transcript on Relationship

Untangling The Knots In Relationship

December 7, 2022

Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him? John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he is seen, despite the knot.  When he’s seen, he is...

Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him?

John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he is seen, despite the knot. 

When he’s seen, he is going to either tighten or loosen. That part is his business, not yours. Either way, you just keep sweetly seeing him and you leave the knot alone.

Q: And I don’t have to protect myself?

John: That’s right.

Q: And it’s like that with everyone?

John: Yes.

Q: I can feel that in relation with my daughter, too.

John: Live this way and you’ve returned to your innocence. Live this way before you die.

Latest VOD on Relationship

Midnight Sky, October 15, 2023, Morning

October 15, 2023

“Balancing is always interruptive. It interferes with comfort. It interferes with personal ways, with familiar patterns of thinking, familiar feelings.“   Dialogue 1 Relationship: addressing naivety and blindness Patterns live in support of each other; open to the hooks Integrating the left and right brain Facing the world inside and outside of you   Dialogue 2 To realize the depth of the real, you must enter the fire Naked in your self; there is no other preparation...

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VOD Duration: 153 Minutes

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