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John de Ruiter conversation in cafe

Excerpt from a discussion with John on April 1, 2012

Q1: I lost a lot of weight a few years back. I was just at that level where I was feeling really good about my body, my self esteem, and then I got scared. Vulnerability came to mind. It had a lot to do with my past and men.

John: It’s not really about that.

Q1: No, there’s also loneliness.

John: It’s not really about that either. It’s really only about what your orientation is. When your orientation is toward your self, then it is about everything you’re saying, but that isn’t it. What it is really about is a shift of orientation to what you know the truth of, and you need to put all of your weight into that. So you’re going to do what you know.

Q2: I find the discernment when you say to respond to knowing and not hunger.

John: The hunger is all distorted. If you respond to knowing instead of hunger then you’ll discern what you know the truth of within your hunger. Then it’s not your hunger you’re responding to, it’s what you are knowing within the hunger that you are responding to. So then you’re discerning instead of just doing.

Q2: It was so beautiful what you were saying today about knowing and addiction, so it starts with an actual move to feel what the need is. It all comes to rest inside, just for a moment.

John: It’s knowing what you’re going to be all about and realizing how much it’s going to cost for you to shift into that. Count that full cost. Know what you’re up against and then step forward. You’re not going to turn back. You really know what you’re going to get into, and you’re going to follow it all the way through. What you are within your entire existence depends on that. Then a weight issue is not just a weight issue any more. A weight issue is an orientation issue. Change your orientation and you’ll be changing your whole lifestyle. You’ll be changing what you eat and why you eat. All of it is based on something you’re knowing and not the surface of things any more.

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