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JdR Podcast 259

Spiritual Healing: How to Let Go of Suffering and Fear

What to do when wonderful awakening experiences fade away, and resistance, fear and suffering return to our experience? John reminds us that we know something much deeper within, which is different than our self. Suffering is in the self, it comes from what is familiar. There is no suffering in knowing, in being in what knowing is in our heart; and there is no suffering in the purity of liking. Liking knowing the deep within removes the suffering. It's easy, natural, direct and immediate.

"Like knowing the deeper within, instead of trying to get there. In liking knowing it, you’re relating to it. When you’re relating to it, you’re being the same as it is. It doesn’t suffer, so then you don’t suffer."

—John de Ruiter

This dialogue also appeared on VOD-000

Podcast Transcript

With John de Ruiter from the May 2, 2012, Pardes Hana, Israel Retreat

Q: My experience, not only from this meeting but from my life right now is like this: there’s resistance and suffering and something just lets go and accepts, and then everything is okay. Then, again, some strong emotions come that I don’t want to feel, or thoughts come, and again there’s very strong resistance and really a lot of suffering around it. And there’s nothing to do, because nothing I do helps. There’s just a feeling of helplessness when this resistance and suffering are there.  Also, I’m starting to feel that meditation and all this effort, spiritual effort, are just part of the suffering. It’s like I’m getting exhausted – just part of the resistance. I feel a lot of the time stuck in these trips of suffering.

John: You are aware of something deeper within than what your self is. You are knowing that there is something deeper, within. You are knowing that what that is, within, is all different from what your self is, and that whatever you try to do from within your self doesn’t give you access to the deeper, within, that you are knowing. The suffering is within your self, and you are knowing that that suffering doesn’t come from what is deeper, within. It all comes from what is familiar to you in your self. When you try to do something, when you try to change that or address that, what doesn’t work is your doing anything that has to do with your self.

What does work is the part that is already there, and that is your own knowing that there is something deeper, within, than what your self is. If you try to reach that you’ll be using what is different from what that is. You’ll be using something of your self, increasing your suffering. The way in is of the same as the deeper, within, that you’re knowing already. The way in is of the same as the deeper, within, that is already in, that is already there, that you’re already knowing, that you have already experienced, that you have already been in. The way in is for you as awareness, in your heart, to be the same as the deeper, within. If you try to use your self to be the same as the deeper, you’ll be your self trying to get into the deeper. The way in isn’t in your self. It is in your heart. You know in your heart that the deeper, within, is already. In your heart you already know the truth of it.

The way in is the same. Instead of just simply knowing what you are knowing in your heart, like what you are knowing in your heart. When you are liking what you’re knowing, you’re not using your self to do that. When you are liking what you are already knowing in your heart, you are using what you’re already knowing to relate to what you are already knowing. Instead of just knowing the truth, within, like knowing the truth, within. Like knowing the deeper, within, instead of trying to get there. In liking knowing it, you’re relating to it. When you’re relating to it, you’re being the same as it is. It doesn’t suffer so then you don’t suffer.

The way that it works is natural and easy. It’s direct and immediate. Liking knowing the deeper, within, is natural to you and easy. It is direct for you and immediate. It requires no process. It doesn’t require you doing something in your self. It doesn’t require you changing something in your self first. It doesn’t require anything of you. In your heart, liking is natural to you. Put liking that is in your heart together with knowing that is in your heart and you have what you are looking for.

There is no suffering in knowing, in being in what knowing is and being in what knowing is in your heart. And there is no suffering in the purity of liking. Liking knowing the deep within removes the suffering in your self from your heart.

Q: What I experience in the moment is there’s a peace, and also enjoying of this love and inner peace. Usually some thought is coming in very quickly, like some intense fears, perhaps, taking me out of it.

John: Both the thinking and the fear have nothing to do with knowing that is deep in your heart and with liking that is deep in your heart. Liking that is in your heart and knowing that is in your heart, brought together, to be together, is deeper than your thinking is and is deeper than the fear is. The thoughts that come in do not inform you of anything that you deeply like or that you know the truth of. The fear also does not inform you of anything that you deeply like or anything that you know the truth of. Your thinking and your fear don’t inform you concerning what you already know the truth of in your heart of the deep.  

Q: I know intellectually that it is only thoughts, but this isn’t a feeling.

John: You already know that the thinking and the fear don’t give you what touches your heart the most, so then, while you have thinking and the fear, like what you are knowing in your heart of what you know touches your heart the most.

If you find it difficult then like making it easy. When you are liking making it easy, you’re being direct in realizing what you know in your heart. Like that it is direct. Like how direct it is, how immediate it is. Enjoy how natural it is. Enjoy how easy it is. This has to do with how your heart moves and not with how your self moves. Like how your heart knows, and you’re there. As soon as you don’t like how your self is, as soon as you don’t like what your thinking is, as soon as you don’t like the fear, you are directly in your self.

As soon as you don’t like how your self interrupts the goodness, then you are in your self. As soon as you like knowing the goodness, within, you are in the goodness. When you don’t like your thinking that puts you even more strongly into your thinking. When you don’t like your thinking, you’re relating to your thinking. When you like the goodness, within, you are relating directly to the goodness, within.

Liking is natural to your heart and to your self. Disliking isn’t natural to your heart. Disliking is natural only to your self. Liking knowing puts you in your heart, and it has you with that kind of heart in your self.

Enjoy knowing what you already know in your heart and live that way.  

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