JdR Podcast 433
Sexuality, Shame and Judgment: The Undoing of Your Conditioning
This young man asks for help to free his nervous system of all the conditioning and conflict he knows is there in his sexuality. John explains what sexuality is really for, and how to discover and be in it anew.
"Connect your sexuality to your heart. Let it return to your heart and get to know your sexuality. It’s really your capacity, in form, to meet and commune."
—John de Ruiter
With John de Ruiter from the February 4, 2018 Tiruvannamalai, India Event
Q: There are polarities in me about sexuality – suppressing or denying. Maybe you can free that.
John: Be in your sexuality in the same way that you lie down to go to sleep. In the same way that you lie down to go to sleep. In the same way that you near sleep, you draw near into your sexuality.
Your sexuality, contrary to your experience, first has nothing to do with your self. The beginning of its meaning has to do with your heart, and all of the rest of the meaning belongs to your being. Your sexuality is at home in your heart and in everything deeper. You’re not able to get to know your sexuality in your self. There, what you become familiar with is attraction and aversion.
You get to know your sexuality when it’s given into your heart and to everything deeper, just like you don’t get to know you in your self. If you want to know you, lie down and go to sleep. As you near sleep you are returning to what you really are and it isn’t dependent on any of your forms. Instead of connecting your sexuality to your self – to thinking and feeling, emotion and will – connect your sexuality to your heart. Let it return to your heart and get to know your sexuality. It’s really your capacity, in form, to meet and commune.
Where you experience the direct knowledge of your sexuality, without even realizing it is your sexuality, is when you are opened and softened within while you’re in nature; the way that you and nature are inter-penetrative. Nature gets right into you. You get to know nature as much as you are being what you really are while you’re in nature. That’s how you get to know your sexuality.
Q: There’s a split. There are judgments in me. It’s not the innocence of a child anymore. There’s a judgment, I don’t know what it is. Something is dirty or whatever…
John: Get to know your sexuality in a way that directly nurtures you, that even the thought of it nurturingly opens you. When your sexuality, connected to your heart and to your being moves in your self, that movement cleans your self. The way that you relate to your sexuality is you relating to your nervous system and your mind. You’re not relating to your sexuality; you’re relating to a projection onto your sexuality. You giving your sexuality to your heart and everything deeper opens your nervous system and frees the judgments held in your body, the judgments that are lodged in your nervous system.
Q: So it’s only (through) the heart that this nervous system can re-form?
Q: Not by engaging in these thoughts, just going into the heart.
John: Which returns your nervous system to your humanness. Your humanness brings your nervous system into a healing balance.
Q: I just love how you gave your self fully to all of that and I’m grateful to meet you now, in this. Thank you, John.
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