JdR Podcast 413
Rooted in Your Heart, Nurtured by Your Thinking
After great experiences of inner surrender, awakening and peace, why is it that distracting thoughts and emotions return? John reveals the way from a divided heart to one rooted in knowing and how that gives rise to nurturing thought and feeling.
"Your thinking and your feeling will always be servants to what your heart is rooted in – either the self or the true delight of your heart, which is the love of the truth."
—John de Ruiter
With John de Ruiter from the December 28, 2001, Edmonton, Canada Winter Seminar
Q: A few months ago I was in a car accident. Something happened to me the moment that I knew I was not in control of the car: I felt totally at peace. It’s the most amazing thing in the world, this amazing being that I’ve always known was there but never realized how close I was to knowing. And I realize that I’ve been just lost in my thoughts then I see the thoughts but I’m not in them any more. But there are times when I feel that I’m just escaping the thoughts. Can you talk about that? How do you stay in the heart?
John: If that is actually your love then it’s natural and easy. First being clear on what is your real love and then letting that be your real love. If you can be distracted by other influences, that shows you where your heart is. You can be rooted in your heart but that doesn’t mean your heart is rooted in what it knows. You can be coming from your heart that is rooted in the self, but then the heart that you’re coming from won’t be very clear so then neither will your thinking be very clear.
Your thinking will be as clear as the water that you swim in. If the swimming is for your self, then such swimming will dirty the water and that will show in your thinking. If your swimming in what you know in your heart is the highest truth, then your swimming will make the water even cleaner because your movement will be based on something that you most deeply know. Such rootedness of your own heart being in what it knows brings about the kind of thinking that is cleansing and nurturing, the kind of thinking that moves you. Instead of changing your thinking, it is easier to go deeper than that and to change your heart. Your thinking will follow.
Changing your heart is as easy as letting it be honest with what it actually knows is true and letting your heart let go of anything it has wished to be true; letting your own heart distinguish between what it actually knows and what it wants; letting it release within what it wants while letting it adhere to what it most deeply knows. Then instead of there being a divided heart, the heart becomes singular. The more singular the heart is, the more it is being the same as where it came from.
When there is a divided heart, then you will have divided thinking, thinking that supports what you most deeply know while also having thinking that supports something other than that. Wherever you find a personal agenda within, that is where there is a divided heart. Your openness to see such personal agendas is your openness to have a simple, singular heart. The more that your heart is singular, the more you’ll be in love with thinking.
Your thinking will always serve whatever it is that your heart is presently serving. If your heart is serving the self, then you will develop within a distorted heart, a divided heart, because it knows better. A heart that serves the self produces self-centred thinking which produces a strife-filled life, because the self isn’t the centre of everything even though you can make it so. When you’re letting the finest and highest truth that you know in your heart be your centre then you’ll enjoy the finest, highest thinking, the kind of thinking that is genuinely pleasing.
Q: Does that take time? Is there a process of letting that be your centre?
John: That doesn’t require time, that requires clear willingness. It only takes time if you’re presently not completely willing. It is the will that creates time, not the mind: the willingness to wholeheartedly and unconditionally turn into the very sweetest of what you know. Your thinking will support you. Your feeling will support you, but you cannot trust your thinking or your feeling to tell you where you’re at. The openness to fully be in your thinking, to fully be in your feeling as what you most deeply know, not as what you think or what you feel. Being the love of what you know within your feeling and within your thinking. Your thinking and your feeling, your experience, can still be distorted from without, but while it is being distorted, you be undistorted in the love of what you know. That will straighten out the newly distorted thinking and feeling. Being rooted and grounded in only the highest and the finest truth that you know, never being rooted or grounded in your thinking or your feeling. Your thinking and your feeling will always be servants to what your heart is rooted in, either the self or the true delight of your heart which is the love of the truth.
The more willing you are the more there is a change of time. The more willing you are the more that you’ll love now. That is the only space in which change happens. Any other kind of change will distort the self. When you’re grasping behind you and in front of you to create a change, you can only do so by grasping onto the self, then such change that takes place will be yet another distortion, another one to let unravel.
It is only willingness that lets distortion of heart unravel. That is when now becomes so dear to you. That is when now nourishes you. The cleanness of the willingness is determined by what the willingness is rooted in: if it is rooted in the self or if it is rooted in the deepest finest and the highest of what you know is true – the willingness to be what you know. The willingness to have what you want gives you only a self-deluding focus. That is combining the truth of what you really are with a personal agenda, using what you know to have what you want. It creates a divided heart and conflicted thinking, it creates confusion within. Having singular willingness that is wonderfully rooted only in what actually it really know is true: not just any truth, not stopping at the first truth that you find but in the very highest and finest truth that you know. Never stopping short.
Personal interest will always have you falling short of that highest truth and it will have you living in a lesser truth. The lesser the truth, the more divided the heart. It is about incorporating all of the truth on every level and all of it lining up to and serving the highest: everything being the love of the truth, having a singular value within – one that’s based on the highest.
Q: I can’t even begin to tell you how much that shifts things for me.
John: Write it down, and with all of your heart let it follow through.
Q: Thank you so much.
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