JdR Podcast 400
Growing The Tree Of Love Within: Openness That Needs No Protection
From seed to fruit, by way of uncompromising willingness and devotion, John describes the journey of transformation travelled as we’re given again and again to growing the tree of love, within.
"Willingness is first growth of love; it’s the very beginning. That is where the tree of love begins to grow."
—John de Ruiter
With John de Ruiter from the July 3, 2001, Edmonton, Canada Event
Q: I wanted to ask you to talk about willingness turning into devotion.
John: Willingness is first growth of love; it’s the very beginning. That is where the tree of love begins to grow. It is in willingness, within, without compromise. It is that that allows the tree of love to become of age. When it becomes of age, and willingness is completed, then there are the first blossoms. Those blossoms are the devotion of love: uncompromising willingness really giving itself away in expression.
Q: I do see myself compromising.
John: When willingness is compromised, then the tree of love doesn’t come into blossom. When, within, you are uncompromisingly willing and, within that, uncompromisingly gentle with your self, then the tree of love is free to blossom. Such blossoms are so much more delicate than the tree. It is only uncompromising willingness, within, uncompromising gentleness with one’s self … it is only that that would not harm something as delicate as a blossom. It is that that then blossoms: the willingness of love turning into the devotion of love.
When the devotion of love is uncompromising within itself: that it does not compromise being what it knows, that there is no price within through which it would draw back, then from the blossoms on the tree grows fruit. When the devotion of love is uncompromising within itself, that it cannot be bought, without the use, within, of any strength – that even within its weakest weakness it cannot be bought – that is the devotion of love losing itself into union with the very essence of what love is: the infinitely delicate end of separation. Love coming into full form. The real tree bearing real fruit.
Willingness is the seed of such fruit, the willingness of such a seed to be placed in the dark where there is no light, no fruit; the willingness for its own form to pass away and to be completely replaced by something very little, ever so delicate, within it. When such willingness of love is uncompromising within itself to remain being that willingness within at any cost, then it grows from a seed to a little tree that has no blossoms.
But this tree knows what it is. Such uncompromising willingness naturally blossoms. Such uncompromising delicate willingness, within, begins to know what devotion is: love turning more into form without having anything within that would draw back because of turning into something so delicate, so hurtable, turning into something that is so extremely lovely. The most delicate love, the devotion of love, fully existing in all of this life, not relating to protection or escape: just very delicately being, within … the turning into a blossom, within … so delicately vulnerable. Being that, without compromise.
It is only such devotion, within, it is only such delicate love of what you know, within, that enables the devotion of love to turn into union: being infinitely delicate love, within, that no longer relates to protection, within, or escape; infinitely vulnerable love in form, being in life, all from the uncompromising willingness of love within a little seed.
The seed knows where it came from. It knows what it is like to be within the fruit. It knows no separation from the fruit, but the seed is not yet being the fruit. That takes place when the seed lets itself be everything that it knows, without compromise, without drawing back because of any price. The seed will go through being separate from the fruit until it slowly turns into where it came from. The seed seemingly loses everything of where it came from, but it still knows what it knows, abiding only in that. The gentled okayness to lose all light, the letting go of needing to have the light, gentled okayness of this seed that is willingly open to being completely in the dark: it is such willingness, such uncompromising tenderness, within, coming into full form, developing in the midst of life. It is only such willingness that can know what it is to blossom; such delicate fineness that can turn into the devotion of what it so fully knew as willingness.
This is something that only the weakest weakness within can realize. This is something that strength cannot endure. The transformation of uncompromising, delicate willingness, within, of love; the transformation of that into the uncompromising delicate devotion of love can take place only within the weakest weakness, within, where there is no use of power, no use of strength. It is when you are in the midst of life that you get immediate reflections back if you are using your strength within, or using power within, in resisting being such delicateness, within, in order to gain something, without. It is remaining in gain, without, and loss, without, without love being compromised, within.
The only price in being that is the price of not using your own power to keep something within, to protect something within; not using your own power to make your self live while you seem to be dying, within; not compromising the most delicate and fine restfulness, within, while living life. It is that that enables the tree to blossom.
Being that – the willingness to uncompromisingly be that within, even in a relationship – this is where you are going and where you cannot return from. The seed cannot preserve its form and return to being where it came from. The seed can only, in its weakest weakness, without the use of any power or strength, very gently be itself. The wonderful opening of the heart, the mind and the will, lets a seed turn into a tree.
You cannot abide in what you think without compromising what you know. If you uncompromisingly abide in what you know, then you will feel what you know and you will think what you know. When you are very gently okay with letting your way be turned inside out, that frees you to dwell from within, out. When you protect your way from within out, then that is you protecting the seed, protecting the seed from going into the ground where its form would pass away and it would turn into something utterly new.
When you live for your way, then you’ll use all of your life, all of your power, to keep that seed separate from where it knows to go.
Listen to the fine resonance within the seed. That introduces you, within, to the quality of willingness to abide in what you know, most gently, without compromise. Instead of using your power to be in that resonance, give away all of your power to what you know that resonance is, within. Then you are being your weakest weakness: being openness and softness that has and needs no protection, within.
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