JdR Podcast 361

Opening Your Heart: The Antidote to Emotional Pain

For the most part, emotional pain is considered something to be avoided. But what if emotional pain was actually an invitation to something much deeper? In this dialogue John illustrates how profound honesty in the midst of pain is a pathway to what we really are.

"The more that you open and soften in your heart, the more you love. Pain doesn’t stop that love. Nothing can stop you from opening and softening in your heart, and nothing can stop the love that comes with it."

—John de Ruiter

This dialogue also appeared on VOD-000

Podcast Transcript

With John de Ruiter from the November 14, 2013, Tuval, Israel Event

Q: I’m feeling mixed. I’m having a feeling that I’m two people now. Why? What can I do with it? 

John: Open and soften in the midst of these two people. Openness and softness reaches both of them. You don’t need to see for you to soften. You don’t need to experience anything for you to soften. You can soften in the midst of your hardness. You can soften in the midst of your patterns. You don’t need to address anything or change anything for you to soften.

Q: So what do I need?

John: You have need of nothing.

Q: So I’m free to do what I feel to do?

John: You are free to open and to soften in your heart. If you do what you feel to do, you will be your self, as is. You being your self doesn’t reach you. It doesn’t reach the depths, within. You opening and softening in your heart reaches the depths, within.

Q: So I’m not losing myself.

John: When you open and soften in your heart you don’t lose your self. What does pass away is your conditioned relationship with your self. What changes is how you are with your self, how you are in your self. When you are opening and softening in your heart, you are not needing anything from your self, which lets your self rest. When you are opening and softening in your heart, you are freeing your self from having to provide for you. Your self isn’t able to provide for you. Your self can’t give you anything.

When you are opening and softening, your heart fills with beingness. As you remain opening and softening in your heart, the beingness which fills your heart begins to fill your self. The more it fills your self, the more your self softens and opens.

As your self opens because you are opening in your heart, your thinking opens. When your thinking opens, you love thinking. When you close in your heart, you become a victim of your thinking.

Q: When I’m opening, I’m a little bit afraid of people, maybe. When I’m opening, I think that’s the reason that I make the mix. Then, to be opening and closing.

John: When you are opening in your heart, everything that takes place toward your self goes in your heart. You feel everything, and as much as that can hurt, that doesn’t hurt you. It just hurts. Open and soften in the midst of hurting. The more that you hurt while opening and softening in your heart, the deeper the beingness that comes up. Your own deeper beingness answers your hurt. It doesn’t answer it to take it away. Your deeper beingness meets the hurt. Hurting doesn’t stop you from opening and softening. When you are honest in the midst of hurting, you soften.

Opening and softening in your heart is what you know the truth of. When you’re honest, within, you know to open and to soften. When you relax into knowing, you soften. When you are honest in the midst of pain, you soften.

Pain doesn’t hurt you. Pain invites you to know. It invites you to know what you know. Pain helps you know more deeply. When you close and harden in the midst of pain, you cover what you know. You cover your own access to your own being. The greater the pain that you’re in, the deeper the beingness that you’re able to access. The deeper the pain, when you are honest in the midst of the pain, your own deeper beingness answers the pain, revealing the depth of what you are, the depth of what you really are.

When the pain goes away while you are opening and softening, your own being moves less. As the pain increases while your opening and softening, your own being moves more. When you take your self to heart while you’re in pain, your self moves instead of your being. The deeper the pain, the more your self moves. Your self moving while you’re in pain adds to the pain; your self moving while you’re in pain doesn’t answer the pain. When you are opening and softening within, everything which affects your self draws upon your own deeper beingness. It brings your own deeper beingness to the surface.  

The more that you open and soften in your heart, the more you love. Pain doesn’t stop that love. Nothing can stop you from opening and softening in your heart, and nothing can stop the love that comes with it.

Q: I’m happy. Thank you.

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