JdR Podcast 315
True Parenting: Transcending the Influence of Genetics
This dialogue addresses a woman’s question of whether or not to have a child. John shows her all the complexities she would be taking on and shares the possibility of raising a child with opened genetics, through being the grace of her own deepest orientation.
"When you as awareness are coming from not just an awakening, within, but being that greater reality awakened to, within, then a child that comes into this world by you is able to come in by a higher gate of genetics, opened."
—John de Ruiter
With John de Ruiter from the June 5, 2010, Copenhagen, Denmark Event
Q: I have always been very fond of children and I’ve been doubting whether I should give birth to a child, or not. I don’t feel I get any clear message about it. I try to be really sensitive to it because I don’t want to just put a child into the world if there’s no deeper purpose in it, if it’s not true. I’m not clear whether it’s just an egotistical need, and I don’t know how to get clear about it.
John: A child that comes into this world does so by your genetics and the genetics of its father. They are real factors, real factors of influence – limiting factors. The more that you have awakened to what is more, within, to the more within than what your self is, and the more that you’re living by that – not being limited, as awareness, to a smaller self, but opened as awareness to greater reality and a greater self – the more that the genetics of the child will be opened in the same way.
To bring up a child of opened genetics you would need to live, as awareness, opening your own genetics, living by a higher genetics instead of a lower genetics. The full range of genetics is in your body, but the level of genetics opened will be determined by what you are being in your body. When you, as awareness, are coming from not just an awakening, within, but being that greater reality awakened to, within, then a child that comes into this world by you is able to come in by a higher gate of genetics, opened.
You would be living always with a higher perspective, a perspective that is deeper and higher than your self, enabling a child to have the same. Having a child won’t make it easier for you. It will make it more difficult for you. The ease is in the beginning, where the awareness of the child comes from its own beingness, so then you’ll experience the child as being pure blessing, a radiant beingness. But as the child develops into its self, it will come into the complexities that come with a self, and it will have much to sort out. It will tend to be in its self just as you are in your self. That includes your self being under the influence of an added difficulty, the difficulties of having a child.
To encompass all of that for the sake of your own evolution and the evolution of a child, you would need to be all of the more, within, that you know the truth of, and to not suffer distraction: not being distracted, as awareness, to a lower self, but always moving, as awareness, from the deep, within, to a higher self, always being on that cutting-edge of higher and greater responsibility, enabling you as awareness, within your self, to be a worthy pattern for a child to come into. All of your genetics that you have not dealt with land on the child to deal with – not just yours but also the father’s.
Q: Then I’m wondering is anyone actually pure enough to receive a child into the world?
John: It isn’t a point of being pure enough, but rather, within your self, doing what you can; being and doing what you’re able to.
Q: You have talked a lot about genetics and my worry for a long time has been whether my body strong enough because I have some quite heavy issues with my physical body. I feel my heart would love a child but I’m scared that physically I’m not strong enough. I feel very strong on other levels.
John: It is what you’re being in what you have that matters much more than what you have. What difficulty you have matters little. How you are being in it, and the level of your beingness in it, matters most. Every difficulty helps your present orientation. What matters most is the orientation of awareness that you know you’re capable of, the orientation that you know, within, that you are able to, and then being the generosity of that orientation.
Q: What do you mean by ‘generosity’?
John: Being its grace. A child comes into this world having to carry what its ancestry both has and hasn’t carried. It comes in with both. Real parenting has to do with the carrying of all of that, carrying all of that with the child. Real parenting is the transference of heart understanding. Whatever you’re living by, limited, or not limited, it is that that you’ll be transferring. Whatever you’re living by: if you are living by what you know is limited – less than what you’re able, or not limited – it is that that you’ll be transferring to a child to carry.
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