John and sexual relations with women
In a time when sexual misconduct is gaining more recognition as a major issue, some people misattribute the stereotypes to John de Ruiter. John’s conduct in regards to sexuality holds to an exacting standard of communication and respect. This was brought into question when John de Ruiter made public the fact of his consensual sexual relations with women beyond the traditional scope of marriage. John states that despite the impact this has on the community around him and his own life, he acts only according to a profound inner clarity. These are John’s words:
At its core, sexuality is designed for the realization of the being. Attraction and aversion is the first place we go in our relationship with sexuality, and the primary distraction. The subtleties are then lost. The awareness we gain in meetings opens us to the meaning of sexuality, on levels that exist before attraction and aversion even registers. The true relationship with sexuality is about what is deeper than attraction and aversion, deeper than ourselves.
I have moved in being with women other than my wife. This means being together physically and sexually. It is independent of desire, and oriented to realization of what is deeper. Sexuality is so profoundly core to awakening, but in ways not known to convention. It isn’t easy to understand on the surface and it isn’t about the surface. Still, the way it impacts all of us is significant.
However this may look on the surface, I know that it comes to me through my response to what I most deeply know on a metaphysical level. I invite anybody in proximity to me to draw from the equivalent clarity within them.In addressing the person or couple to whom I have given the invitation, I asked nothing but that each finds a response that is deeply rested and true to their own clarity.
All we have is what we know, and that reaches from the details of surface life to the very deepest. That’s what this is about, the finest point of what we most deeply know and the levels of meaning and being which exist beyond that point. Knowing is a point of no question, no further choices, just the love inherent to awareness at rest.
I do not navigate fundamentally by the effect on others or myself. I follow the thread of pure knowing, and with my conscious self, take utmost care of the effect on others. As trite as it may sound, all I had is what I knew, from within what is deeper than myself, and strange as it sounds, what is deeper than my being. And it was and is clearer than my entire existence. It’s clearer and more real to me than physical reality.
I do not know how to make that real to someone else. I do not know how to convey to anyone that which I come from. I can only say it as it is and many have, and many have not, known a profound resonance with what I am bringing. I communicate this as directly as I can, and other than that, I can only continue to do and be what I know.